RIP stewie.

we had to kill one of our cockerels this weekend. he was not doing so well. his butt turned black and he wasn't as interested in eating as before. we knew he was sick so johnny got to kill his first chicken. i didn't feel that bad cause it was a mercy killing but still - it was a little sad.

as for the remaining 8, they are on borrowed time. those little *&^%# destroyed my garden by roosting in my squash and pecking everything else to death. that's ok, though. i'm learning.

and yet - no eggs.

but i am happier than normal because i have managed to take a big step in personal improvement and started an exercise regimen with B that we have stuck to pretty well. i live in a beautiful neighborhood with lots of hills, some of them pretty steep and for about 45 mins, B and I walk around the neighborhood. lately, it's been a bit tougher cause of the humid heat, but we still do it. it feels quite good afterwards, too. i'm a little proud of myself by exceeding my doc's recommendation of exercising for 30 mins. 5 times a week. we've been walking nearly everyday.

i am a little worried about this heat, though. our utilities are going to be really high at this rate. plus, we are still in a drought. and the price of gas is really hurting. time to up the ante and make myself healthier, stronger, more frugal, and more thankful.

new book idea

you know it's really a sad shame that most of the ideas i have become forgotten because i was too lazy to write it down, or i thought it was a ridiculous idea so i just mentally tossed it away (cause, you know, there's only so much room left inside my head...) but i think i need to vow never to lose an idea, no matter how ridiculous, again. and so here's my next idea; and i'm only sharing this cause i seriously doubt this idea will come to fruition. i really think there needs to be a comprehensive and totally practical book on bamboo. BAMBOO is the world's greatest plant. it is truly the most versatile vegetation that mother nature has gifted to us. i am by no means an expert, but i have seen a fair share of bamboo use in my lifetime and although my mind is feeble after work, i shall attempt to list as many uses as i possibly can. because i love bamboo.

well, first of all - it is totaly sustainable. it will grow and grow and grow some more. you almost can't stop it. i can't imagine how we could possibly run out of bamboo. (unlike oil).

it is fabulously green. i mean the color, not the pop buzzword of today. bamboo has so many beautiful shades of green - and it's all in your face, too! most other trees you see the bark then the branches, then the leaves - but bamboo is just a wall of emerald green BAM! right in your face. you don't have to look up to see the color. it's not just green, though. it's also a beautiful ochre-y shade of yellow, deep, almost black, greens, purple-y green, blue-y green, etc. i haven't seen a red bamboo, but i wouldn't doubt it if there is one.

bamboo grows redonkulously fast. like a foot a day fast! instant returns!

you can EAT bamboo! and it is delicious - you can fix it about a million different ways. cook it like you would asparagus, or zuchini. it would be fabulous on pasta, so good stir-fried, i like it plain, too. do not compare this to canned bamboo!! i'm not even sure that stuff is real. fresh bamboo shoots are so delicately crunchy and juicy, with a very fresh and mild flavor.

hello, you can eat it and BUILD with it! bamboo is also really really strong. the way the fibers grow give it superb tensile strength. BUT! the chambers created by the nodes also give it incredible compressive strength as well.

it's hollow! it's really strong AND lightweight! there's no better building material than that! you can make scaffolding a million stories high in about 3 hours with about 100 chinese men. you can build instant bridges, instant shelters, instant anything!

weapons. unfortunately bamboo is also a great weapons material. it's strong and lightweight which means you can swing it really fast and it freakin' hurts!! and you can also make all kinds of torture devices which shall remain nameless....

pandas (and dogs) love to eat it. in fact, i'm sure chickens probably love bamboo, too. it's high in nutrients and also water content. it is a very good source for immediate energy in the form of carbs yet sustains you with it's soluble fiber.

ok, so now about the book. what i'm saying is, why isn't there a practical, hands-on manual to all things bamboo for the average household? all kinds of recipes, ideas, building projects, etc. us asians have been taking advantage of this most resourceful grass for centuries and its uses remain unlimited. i LOVE having bamboo growing in my backyard. i use it for everything, from eating to having a nice privacy screen from my neighbors, to making beautiful trellises for climbing plants (like my peas!) you can make temporary cold frames, gates. fencing, whatever. i truly believe it is an essential for every homesteading family.

you can make flooring, utensils, plates & bowls, cups, hats, purses, rugs, furniture, clothing, paper, linens, freakin' robots, probably; food, shoes, teepees, and the list goes on and on...

they're here! calling all chicken advice-givers!

we have fowl! my mom came by with 20 chickens! i told her several times we only need 4!! she just came over and kept throwing in one chicken after another in the pen and now we have 9 chickens. they are the typical chicken farm chicken and about 6-8 weeks old (we're guessing). we don't know if they are all females or not. they have sparse feathering and kinda stink. but they still make those cute chickie peeping noises.

they're pretty scared, too. they are warming up to being in there, and to me a little bit too. they have not gone inside the nesting box, partly because we haven't put in an adequate ramp yet (working on that now). i put some mixed grain and fresh water in there, and some hay and sand. they seem to be happy, pecking away at bugs. they poop. it's gross. our eggs are coming out of that same hole. ew. but, it will be a while before we get any eggs. i'm thinking we are going to fatten them up and start eating the big ones and let the smaller ones grow and lay eggs.

the dogs were excited. choco is a bit intimidated but curious. i don't think moto is aware of the new roommates he's got. and i'm a little paranoid about our neighbors protesting...

we let the dogs come out and sniff around the pen. louie knows chicken tastes good. they are hiding under the nesting box right now. i was wondering if we can give the chickens baths? they are white and covered in poo. if you know anything about chickens, leave me some pointers, i could use it!

bees

my mother and i want to start raising bees in our backyards. i think we will start off with one hive. i'm in charge of research and she'll probably be the funds manager. johnny isn't enthusiastic about keeping bees but i am! there's a lot of news lately about bees disappearing and it's quite alarming, considering how much we rely on them to pollinate our food! did you know every thrid bite of food was brought to us by bees? burt's bees was giving away seeds but they have run out. you can still plant bee-attracting plants in your yard, though. check out these resources:

http://pollinator.org/

http://organicgardening.com/

http://www.burtsbees.com

all this rain!

we have been dowsed with about 3 or 4 inches of rain in the past four days. that's a great thing. i laid in bed listening to the raindrops (inside and outside the house) and picture lake lanier filling to it's brim... i sincerely hope we get out of this drought this spring. i put an old 5 gal. bucket under the downspout by the front porch and it was full overnight. i soaked my mushroom log, and maybe if i am lucky, i'll get a mushroom crop out of it. the planter box was a little flooded this morning, but it seems to be slowly draining. the back patio was filled with rainwater - i need to tackle that project next.

it's been 65 days since i saw a movie at the theatre - and yesterday we had planned to go to the inman park festival but it was pouring all day so we went to the theatre instead and saw "forbidden kingdom" which is a martial arts flick with jackie chan and jet li. jet li played the monkey king, which i remember watching as a cartoon in korea. i give the movie 3 stars (out of five). it wasn't awful, but parts of it were corny. i gorged myself on theatre candy, and paid for it this morning.

bibi is doing better. she seems to be using her leg more now, maybe even a little too much. but she is completely spoiled rotten cause she gets to sleep in bed with us and now expects it. she will walk up to the bed and stare at you until you pick her up and tuck her in. then she gets pissed if louie or syrus try to lay in bed too. i love snuggling with the bunni in bed - she'll just lay there and let you kiss her, play with her feet, you can even nibble on her cheeks, blow raspberries on her tummy.... yea, she's a dog. we know.

my mom is now a part of the food shortage hype. i offered to give her some leftover squash, zuchini, and onion plants and she said we need to plant a lot more. so i imagine this year we are going to be gardening like crazy. she got me some chickens but i need to build the coop first. i have no idea how that's gonna work out - chickens, dogs & cats.....

**oh, i always add things to my posts last minute, but i just can't help but poke fun at what retarded shit people build and the even more retarded people who buy into it... http://www.guardian.co.uk/travel/2008/apr/26/travelnews?page=2
seriously, it's like watching the paris hilton of architecture. i hope those stupid islands sink into the ocean.

countdown to meltdown...

it's only a matter of time before poop hits the fan. i'm not talking about me. i'm talking about our economy. i really think we are in for a serious recession, the likes of which my generation has never seen, much less suffered.

i'm hearing on npr that the fed is stretching itself thin and lowering the interest rates is not going to help fix the economy. i'm worried because as it is, johnny and i are trudging by with what we make. yes, we could be more frugal - mainly I could be more frugal - but i'm not all that extravagant to begin with so inflation will hit us pretty hard. geez, the price of gas is already hurting. i hate that i have to even buy gas, stupid MARTA. times are going to get tough here soon and my concern is, what are we going to do?

the scary thing is, as civilization "advances" the common person is less and less equipped to take care of themselves in the case of an emergency like this. the government has become our crutch and it seems like without it all will fall apart. the most basic of needs like food and water - who can afford to pay $3 for a tomato, or find potable water if the water plants fail? we have basically set ourselves up to wither away and die without the support of a strong economy. it just seems very senseless to me. but before i get too hypocritical, i admit that i am just as plugged in as the next person. i'm trying to find a way to become more self-sufficient but it seems just like everything else, self-suffiency has a price tag. i am so glad i didn't buy that damn furniture, that would be one more thing to worry about in a world where there are more important things going on. i was gripped in a consumerist frenzy for a brief moment and now that i snapped out of it, i feel better.

so, let's think about our near future worst case scenario. gas is $5 a gallon. our grocery bill raises by 20%, and we still make the same amount of money at work (if we don't get laid off, god forbid) what do we do? i guess hunker down and wait it out. save as much money as possible and eat from our garden. what happens to our goals, our dreams? how long will we have to wait it out? what will we do if the absolute worst thing happens? let's say i lose my job, or johnny loses his. inflation is sky high and we can't pay the mortgage and our bills. what then? we'd have to consider moving? i can't lose my house and there ain't no way we can sell it. i just don't know. i feel very bad for people who have already met this face to face and are now living in a trailer or shelter. that can't happen to us, we have dogs.

all i can do for now is hope that things will work themselves out and try to prepare for the worst.

updated: here's an article that says it all.

don't forget...

...about my supplemental blog pages. i made it because i am a neurotic list-maker and needed someplace to put this info. well, it turns out that there are some good ideas and resources there if you are a like-minded individual who likes saving money, being green, etc etc. the link should be to the right of this page (right above my virtual city - land of milk and honey - which you should also visit!) and for your convenience, you can also click here.

i always end up adding to my posts....

i just got an email from one of the advocacy groups i support about the retroactive immunity that the senate just passed for telecom companies. boo. anyways, i hate supporting giant corporate companies but don't know of any more conscientious companies that provide the same product/services that i need. i use verizon for my mobile phone and i HATE THEM. i don't care for sprint, at&t, or cingular either. well, there's this phone company called CREDO that supports causes like women's right, civil liberties, international peace, etc. their website is pretty informative and it's not a bad deal, they will even buy out your old contract. i'll have to give them a try!

landscape plan

wow. it worked. i scanned this little sketch on the copier at work and emailed it to myself and it worked! well, in case you have no clue what you are looking at, it is a site plan of my house. you have no idea how may times i have drawn this. at least 20 times. half of the time i draw it in CAD, just to be extra anal. anyways, i decided to take my time and be methodical about how exactly i want my yard to look. this may seem easy, but when you are me, it's not. pretend like there are about 50 pine trees at about 120 feet tall scattered all over the page. that's what my house currently looks like, and if you are seriously considering mowing down each and every one of those pines, you wanna be damn sure that you will be able to live with that decision.

the real site plan has so much stuff on it you won't be able to see what's going on so this is really more of a key plan than an actual site plan. you can see how my house is situated on the site, kind of at a slant to the corner of the two streets. i have a driveway that ends really close to that intersection which is a pain in the ass so i want to build a small turnaround driveway. we are also building a new front porch very soon. the rest of the diagram just shows blocks of the land sectioned in different colors, and this is what i want to discuss.



let's start with the teal green section at the lower left. it is called "lawn" because that is exactly what it is. a very pathetic lawn. now, i don't plan on going leave it to beaver and obsess over having a perfectly green lawn but johnny does need something to call his own so i am letting him have a lawn to mow and fertilize. if it's a success, he'll be happy and i'll be happy. my only rule, no harsh chemicals.

going counter-clockwise to the right, the light blue section is called "bird & butterfly". this is the section that i will truly enjoy building because it is actually for my neighbors. we have a lot of people walk past our house everyday and i want to make a little spot for them to sit and relax if they wish. i am going to have a bench with a birdbath and plenty of bird/butterfly houses. i will plant bird and butterfly attracting plants and it will be pretty and smell nice. even though we have a lot of sucky neighbors, maybe they will lighten up after enjoying this little garden. i also want to put a hammock there....there's all kind of possibilities.

next is the green section called "orchard". here i will plant fruit trees like apple, pear and fig. i would also like to grow some nut trees, too. this orchard will provide food for people and wildlife as well as provide shade and privacy for the house. along the fence i want to grow all kinds of berry bushes to camoflauge the dog's yard, which is highlighted in yellow.

the dog's yard is going to require the most work. johnny thinks he can grow grass out there, which would be ideal. i also plan to build some retaining walls to control the soil erosion and make a doggy obstacle course to keep the dogs entertained outside. if you have any ideas for this, please please please let me know. i am also thinking about having a pond and building a new patio behind the house but that will be last on the list.

last but definitely not least is my most dreamed about chicken coop and vegetable garden. here is the most protected part of the yard, away from traffic and out of sight. this would be the smartest place to keep the chickens in case i have neighbors who hate chickens. no roosters, just hens. they will have space here to roam and hang out in the sun or chill out in the shade. i might build a small fence to keep them safe. below the chickens will be my vegetable garden. this spot gets really good sun and good drainage, but it is highly visible from the street so i must have a decent looking garden. this is where my creativity will have to come into play. i want to have boulders and all kind of plants, not necessarily just vegetables. so, i guess my veggie garden will have more than one purpose. hopefully it will work out!

that's all for now, gotta get back to work!

the joys of microfiber

i used to love cleaning. in fact, i was neurotically clean and organized. it was soothing to clean every square inch of everything and it felt like i had accomplished something when i was done. not so much anymore. in fact, i've become to detest cleaning because it seems never-ending. as soon as i clean something, by the end of the day it's dirty again. i know a lot of it has to do with having dogs but i am not getting rid of them. my ankle also makes it more difficult to clean, like going up and down steps and basic maneuvering. i gave up on being a clean person. i decided to just get used to having a messy/dirty house and just trying to keep it from getting out of hand on the weekends. not anymore!! i have found my new favorite thing and it is called microfiber. i've known about it but i never knew how great it was at cleaning until i got my green e-newsletter and there was an article about how to clean your house without using chemicals. i didn't think much about it until i happened to be at target and saw they had a set of four on clearance. there's one for dusting, one for kitchen/bath, one for glass, and one for furniture polishing. i got a few more general ones cause they were on clearance, too. i am so glad i did.

at first it was hard for me to let go of the idea that i had to use some kind of spray or soap to clean my bathroom (my first test area). but i thought - you have to at least try it. so i wet the cloth a bit and wiped. eh. it was ok... i could still see millions of microscopic bacteria swarming on my vanity. but then i just used it like a rag - got it nice and wet with hot water and just wiped everything down and it cleaned so well!! i didn't think about germs anymore. i was pretty pleased. then i decided to test out the "glass" cleaning cloth - thinking for sure it would fail but to my complete surprise it worked like a charm!! i think i spent about 30 mins. in my bathroom marvelling at how easy, simple, and chemical free my sparkling bathroom was. next was the kitchen.

i used a different microfiber cloth and used it pretty much the same way - thoroughly wet (but wrung out) with hot water and just wiped everything down. i had to rinse it pretty often because my kitchen really was filthy. but it cleaned it up perfectly - cut through grease and picked up any dried food particles. i ended up wiping down the entire kitchen - oven, microwave, cabinets, drawers, fridge, etc. with one cloth and absolutely no chemicals!

i hand washed my microfiber rag and hung it to dry on the kitchen sink faucet. i love my new cleaning tool. i thought about how much money i have spent on cleaning in the past and i am astonished. countless boxes of those addictive swiffer dusters, bottles and bottles of anti-bacterial counter wipes and glass cleaners. and to my total humiliation and shame - those evil megaharsh cleaners like bam! and 409. all kinds of toilet bowl cleaners, bathtub scrubbers, heavy duty tile & grout soapscum cleaners, furniture dusting spray, hardwood floor cleaner, and carpet stain cleaner and de-oderizer. i was even addicted at one point to those stupid carpet powders that you vacuum up which gave poor bibi awful skin rashes and probably didn't help my asthma. for every surface in your house, there is a cleaner, polisher, & deoderizer for it. well, not for me anymore. i am using my microfiber, vinegar, baking soda, and essential oils to clean. i feel so much better now. and my house sparkles!

i am a reformed cleaner. and i shall spread the gospel.

p.s. i just had to add this handy dandy factoid - microwave your (wet!) microfiber rag for 2 minutes to kill 99% of the bacteria - and it cleans your microwave! you can do this with your toothbrush, too...

presidential caucas

i am so politically confused. i wish i knew more about it all but i make do with what i got. i'm kind of sad to see dodd drop out cause i liked his tenacity in supporting the constitution (go habeas corpus!) but i kinda knew he wouldn't make it. i have done lots and lots of research and it all seems to lead me in circles, but i found a pretty good website to help me figure out which candidate suits me best. you fill out a profile (you have to register) and a questionaire. then it gives you a really easy to read pie graph of which candidates match your profile. according to it, i am most compatible with mike gravel, whom i know next to nothing about. after that it would be dennis kucinich but unfortunately i now think he's a little crazy, no offense, i really like the guy... then after that it's john edwards whom i don't really know if i trust. he's too airbrushed or something. the furthest dem from me is hillary and even then she beats out the closest rebublican to me who is huckabee. i would rather die than vote for him. i cannot believe anyone would want a preacher as a president. are people that adverse to paying taxes? i mean c'mon everyone pays taxes! i think we should be trying to make better use of tax money instead of selling out to pay less. after that it guiliani. i dont trust him either. i need to find out more about this mike gravel, even though i don;t think he's got a flying chance. i'll probably end up voting for obama if it turns out to be between him, hillary and edwards. maybe i need to research edwards more....

oh i almost forgot - if you are wondering what to do with your xmas tree take it to be mulched! There's a program in our area (possibly in yours, too) called Bring one for the chipper and if you bring your xmas tree to a participating home depot, they will give you a dogwood seedling for free! We are doing that this weekend, I can't wait!

It's 2008!!

I really have high hopes for this year. this is going to be a very good year, so help me god. or whoever's out there....

last year undoubtedly sucked, as i mentioned before and shall not dwell upon anymore, despite the several really good things that happened. but i swear nothing bad will happen in 2008. i am going to work harder to make it so. that means i will be more careful, more thoughful, more diligent, more honest, more disciplined, more inquisitive, more aware, and put my health at the upmost priority. i have made a few subtle changes recently that i think will carry over to make 2008 a better year. i am really putting into effect some eco-conscious rituals at my house. i am using better products, learning more and more about living a greener life. i am going to take up gardening more often and learn how to grow things (first i need some sunlight which means i need to cut down some trees!!) and how to store them. i have been cooking more, broadening my repitoire of recipes and experimenting (successfully!!) with my own concoctions.

by the way, I AM DONE ENTERING MY IDP CREDITS!!!!! jeez, that was a pain in the ASS. now all i have left to do is mail off the packet to my old supervisor an he then signs off and mails it out to ncarb. after tallying up all my credits so far i have burned through 487.71 with 212.79 to go. holy sheet. that means i can probably start testing by fall. i need to be leed certified by then or else i will never do it. i hate tests!!!!

for new years, i got johnny and i tickets to see a stand-up comedian. it was my first comedy show so i didn't know what to really expect, but it was actually really good. the comedian's name was tom simmons. johnny and i ate not the most stellar food so next time we will eat beforehand. then we went home and i played final fantasy until about 15 minutes before midnight then we watched the ball drop on times square. man, dick clark is OLD. i thought the man was dead but he still looks the same, even though he sounds like he's 100. anyways, right after that i played more final fantasy then went to bed.

we had a pretty relaxing holiday, did some thorough cleaning and a little organizing. i am going to switch my office with the guest room and we are going to have a huge garage sale to get rid of a bunch of crap. 2008 is about being happy, healthy and content. we don't need so much crap and i refuse to just buy everything retail. i shop craigslist.

oh, and i almost forgot. i planned on getting pregnant fall 2008. we shall see how that goes. if i still like johnny by then maybe we'll hook up.

soap nuts and shiitake mushrooms

i got my soap nuts today! they are not very pretty nor do they smell very pretty but they do work! i am washing my first load as i type. the package came with a cool gift - soap nut earrings! i saw them on maggie's website but i didn't think they looked nice enough to actually wear but get this - i really like them! they just look like a big black bead. i hope this laundry thing works out, if it does i am a soap nut addict.

and finally i can upload some pics of the first mushroom crop. i kinda messed up the cycle cause i wasn't ready to grow mushrooms but out they came anyways. this pic is after about 3 or 4 days after soaking....





and after about a week - mushrooms! i didn't eat these, though. they are the test crop. right now my log is resting and in a few weeks i'll sprout it again.





i am seriously wanting some hens. 2008 is going to be a good year.

soap nuts

i love it when i come across something unexpectedly solved by nature. there seems to be an endless line of products from mother nature that for some reason isn't popular knowledge. well, i promise that whenever i find something that can be a healthier, earth friendlier option i will share it with the world no matter how silly it may sound. like soap nuts. yes, nuts that make soap. i got my greener-you newsletter email today and the subject was about this cool tree from china that you can use to do your laundry. since i kinda suck at paraphrasing, i'll just copy paste...

Dariel explained the fascinating history behind soap nuts and how they are relatively unknown in the Western world. Soap Nuts are the dried fruit of the Chinese Soapberry tree (Sapindus mukorrosi), similar to the lychee. A long time ago, local folks in the South East Asia figured out that when the nuts get wet, they release saponin, a natural surfactant, making them great for washing clothes! Maggie's Soap Nuts are the only household cleaner made exclusively from Nature, by Nature. A single soapberry tree produces hundreds of kilos of nuts per year! So they are very sustainable and fall to the ground in Indian and Indonesian forests where they are collected by folks who have used the nuts for centuries.

So how do they work? You take 4 nuts and put them in the linen bag that comes with the box, then use them 2 to 3 times according to the web site. I used mine 5 times. For heavily soiled clothes you can soak the soap nuts in hot water first to soften them up and then throw them in the wash. No fabric softener is needed. Maggie's Soap Nuts naturally soften and add body to your clothes. Soap nuts won't get your whites sparkling and white though. Dariel suggested using a bit of natural oxygen bleach. I suggested buying unbleached organic cotton clothing instead to avoid the issue. Soap nuts are great for delicates like wool and silk so that is a big plus.

i hyperlinked the name of the company that sells them to an amazon page if you wanna try them out. I am very interested and will definitely give these things a try. yay for nature!

peak oil

i learn so much from the internet, it is amazing. i've learned so much about the environment, technology, politics, parenting, home improvement, other people's stories, etc. i learn new things everyday that blow me away. today, for instance, i am learning about peak oil. i never knew what it meant, or how it affects me but with what i am observing about the world today everything seems so much more relevant than it did before. what could be worse than drought and an oil crisis, both of which we are currently dealing with? you can't just sit and wait something like this out.

i am pretty worried about the economy and the state of our planet. all of this is making me pay much more attention to the presidential race going on right now. it's hard to find the perfect candidate because i like one or two things from each. i admire someone for their conviction then find out something i hate about their beliefs. i admire the candidates who are still speaking up for the people and trying to make a difference in the government right now instead of schnozing with celebrities. i also admire candidates who have changed their views - nobody is perfectly right the first time but it takes a smart person to realize that and change. to be able to admit that something didn't work and present a new solution seems to be very rare among politicians. and why oh why does abortion have anything to do with politics?? WHY??? i try pretty hard to be open-minded and not prejudiced but i am so biased. so very biased. i really dislike christianity. when i read this article last week my prejudice was sealed in for good.

one day, the shit will hit the fan.

and just to lighten things up a bit here's a seriously funny video....

life plans

i just have to get something out of my head first cause it's haunting me. last night i saw a puppy dying on the side of the street. it must have gotten hit by a car. it seemed to look straight at me, and the image is burned into my head. i hate to see shit like that, it bothers me very badly for days. i was depressed all last night. but johnny helped to make it better by making me my favorite dish - spaghetti. he hates it when i am sad. which is like a lot these days. i think it's just a mix of pms and bad luck but he thinks i might actually suffer from depression. well, whatever. who doesn't? my problem is that i dwell obsessively on the morbid and negative. i can't help it. i really really wish that i didn't do that. i like to think i am an optimistic person with enthusiasm. on the other hand for some reason too much beauty and happiness also makes me cry - some things seem to me too awesome to handle. wtf? what's wrong with me? either way my emotions are extreme and all bottled up inside cause i can't explain it. maybe i should really find a therapist. johnny wants hypnotherapy to quit smoking. at this point, i agree. i can't stand it anymore. it gives me headaches and makes it that much more difficult to breathe when i already have asthma. he also smells like smoke all the time. it sucks. more importantly, he's killing himself slowly which pisses me off the most. he is otherwise perfectly healthy. quit smoking, dammit. he is trying a bit - got patches and nicotine gum. 2008 is going to be a good year, remember?

now that the bad stuff is out of the way i can focus on the good stuff. such as life plans. i've always sort of just sat back and let life lead me but now i want to lead my life. i know in the back of my head what i need to do, but in typical ocd heather fashion, i must list and categorize it first. to start off, i need to take my LEED AP exam and get it over with. i have put that off for waaaay too long. that's me being lazy. which is my default status unless there's a fire lit under me. i also need to get my IDP credits signed off by ex-boss asap. like by january asap. once i have that out of the way, i imagine i will get busier at work. during that time i am going to help johnny as much as possible to get through school. he wants to go to AI to learn graphic design. i think he should get the digital design associate but he has to apply for financial aid first. while he's in school i am going to figure out how to finance our business. we have some leads i just need to follow up. we came up with a really good business plan to start an environmentally friendly printing company to cater to the green businesses in atlanta. we are going to start off applying for a govt. subsidied loan for new businesses in a dehabilitated area of town. it's actually a part of downtown that is growing rapidly and hopefully we can contribute to its revitalization by offering services to local walk-in customers like internet/computer access and recycling. i hope we can open our business by next summer. i know that's a stretch but it's a starting point. my other business idea is to start a pedicab/ rickshaw service in buckhead but i am in no shape to be bicycling around buckhead, much less carrying people. johnny smokes too much to do that too, so we'll go with the print shop. johnny knows everything about printing so we have some expertise already in the bank. this can also be a way to sell some bamboo/hemp printed t-shirts like we originally wanted.

at some point, johnny and i will have to consider ourselves. i originally wanted to start a family by the time i was 28. that milestone has passed. i am facing 30 in 6 months and even though i do want a kid, the thought of actually having one scares me almost to death. that's a whole another topic...

desperately needed hope and inspiration

despite the fact that johnny and i had to wake up and leave the house by 6:30 am, i am in very good spirits today. i took marta and met my mom at our second southface sustainable roundtable. this roundtable's topic was food. i was all over it as soon as i heard about it. i knew my mom would be down for it so we signed up. there were three speakers - a guy who does urban farming programs, a master chef, and a co-housing community farmer. it was very interesting and heartwarming and i listened to every word. after the lectures, i went straght up to the co-housing guy and asked him about interning on his farm. he said he had one spot left and that i could apply. so right away i emailed him when i got to work.

i also spoke to a lady from UGA's agriculture dept. and she gave me information about a certificate program in sustainable farming. since the alpaca farm didn't reply to me, i think i am going to have to go through contacts via southface - but that's even better! oh my god - i feel so much closer to my dream i am overwhelmed with hope and inspiration. one thing unanimously agreed upon is that georgia needs more - more organic farmers, more sustainable processing facilities, more farmer's markets and CSA's. the demand is there and strong - we just need more people to supply. during lectures my mom would lean over and whisper into my ear about roof gardens on her hotel and having ricky spread chicken poop on the 14 acres.... oh my god.... my 14 acres.

i am going to have to name it soon.... mom has dry pond but i want something unique and expressive. when johnny and i walked around the land it was nothing but a forest of small hardwood trees. relatively few pines and a few larger hardwoods. it's atop a pretty steep hill but there's plenty of flatness. there's a bubbling creek at the bottom of the hill, alongside the property line that has a small waterfall. the ground is soft and organic - and the only access is a dirt road alongside the interstate. we will have to put sound dampening skyrocket junipers and probably a bridge of some sort to cross over the really deep culvert, but first and foremost i must plant the orchard. this weekend i am going to visit the site again and i'll post pictures. i am pretty excited!

my immune system sucks

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

well, i thought i was in the clear but i was wrong. i'm tempted to blame johnny for this but who knows how i got sick again. yesterday after lunch i started to feel a tickle in my throat. i figured it was the heater (i hate convection heat!) at work and i knew if i breathed in that shit for too long it would make me sick. well, by bedtime my throat felt like it had been rubbed raw by a thousand razors and i didn't sleep all night long. this morning i could barely speak when i called in sick. luckily, we have zicam - like every product they sell. the cough spray really really helped cause everytime i coughed i wanted to cry. right now i am just really tired and somewhat feverish. my throat feels a bit better. hopefully i'll be better by tomorrow, but things could go downhill fast. i've been watching old episodes of charmed in bed with the dogs. i truly hate being sick.

in crafty news, i made an xmas ornament - well actually alot of our xmas ornaments we made - but this one i photoshopped the dogs into a small frame we got at michaels. i made little snowflakes out of doggie bones and made it look all pretty. we got some great ornaments on our tree! this weekend i think johnny is going to decorate the outside of the house - our neighbor across the street put up a bunch of lights so now he's feeling competitive.

today my mom took me to a korean restaurant for fish soup and she asked me about my future. always a loaded question. but she kept it low-pressure. she even told me that i could have that 14 acres of land with the waterfall. it's a small relatively useless patch of land but it's still land. it's the area where she wanted to put a subdivision and i tried to convince her into making it a green community. i'm actually kind of surprised that she's taking me seriously about the whole living in the country thing. she said she regrets not planting those black walnut tress on her other property when she first bought it back in the early 80's. she said i should plant trees right away. i think that's exactly what i will do.

my 2-hour commute

yes, that's right. it took me almost 2 hours to get to work this morning. granted, my timing wasn't spot on but still - i spent a ridiculous amount of time just waiting in the cold. the ride wasn't bad, actually. i tried to read on the train but found myself getting carsick. i found the bus stop pretty easily but once there, got a little anxious about which bus to get on. i think about 5 buses stopped in front of me, none of which was my bus. i asked every single driver, too. of course the bus i had to get on (it finally arrived after about 40 mins.) was packed to the gills and driven by an obviously disgruntled employee. i think she works at the doraville post office, too. what a beotch. anyways, i stood on the bus, trying not to fall over and trying not to have an asthma attack from all the b.o. i got off the bus two stops early partly because i couldn't take it anymore and partly because i was afraid she would fly right past my office and i would have to walk back a long distance. i left the house this morning at about 7:20 am and strolled into my office about 9:10 am. i actually called one of my co-workers to come pick me up at the bus stop because i thought the bus was never going to arrive. but just as i called him the bus showed up so i told him i would finish my commute with MARTA. whilst waiting for the #1 Coronet Way bus, I noticed that I was standing underneath a particularly interesting parking garage and actually though to photograph it. can you see anything interesting about this parking garage?



if you can't, i'll tell you. the cars are parked OVER the edge of the slab. I have never ever in my life seen this. it seems a wee bit dangerous - as i can't imagine that railing with mesh is strong enough to hold up an SUV that's gone a little too far. i don't think there are wheel stops, but that would be the only way this makes sense, so there's got to be stops somewhere. code requires a minimum of a 24' drive aisle two ways (12' one way) and i suspect that they ran out of width for the drive aisle, which prompted this insane solution. although, i can't imagine anyone at the city of atlanta permit office (as inept as they may be) permitting this. the minimum length for a parking spot is 16' - for compacts. that is an SUV teetering on the edge! unbelievable. i wonder who came up with it....

in more important news, i am going to have a completed project by the end of this week. the beautiful fabric i bought from Joann's was EXACTLY the right amount of fabric i need to make a pillowcase for our extra long body pillow (which has no case). It's shimmery double-sided sari made of silk and eet eez magnificent!!



and the poor, neglected sewing machine that i shall make this pillowcase with:



but i have decided to treat this sad little sewing machine like a treasure. i downloaded the manual and i am going to get some machine oil and johnny is going to clean it for me. this machine will return to its former glory soon. i did find out that it's a model 201 which was made in 1947 in elizabethtown, NJ. 15,000 machines were made in this model. it's supposed to be one of the best singer models. i also have a dressmaker but i haven't got a clue how to operate it. i am going to tackle that next.

i am still debating on whether ir not to take MARTA tomorrow. I have a pottery class after work and it makes no sense to take MARTA but i don't know if i feel like going to pottery class....

dry as a bone

it's amazing how easy it is to take simple things for granted in this day and age of convenience. you get so wrapped up in the silly things like cellphones, tv shows, he-said, she-said, baby mama drama, etc. All the while, the planet is still turning and there is an entire world that you are only a teeny weeny piece of going through an amazing transformation. Life on this planet, no matter how much we think we are in control, is still precious. It takes only a flick of mother nature's wrist to induce a devastating catastrophe. Maybe as kids you just don't think about it much and you take it for granted that way. I was pretty eco-conscious as a kid. I thought everybody was, honestly. Conserving was kind of a given - especially in the korean culture. I'm used to rationing water and reducing waste. I started living my own life and got trapped in the american lifestyle of abundance and waste and this drought has turned a glaring spotlight onto my evil ways. Like many people, I took water for granted. I have never "felt" the effects of a drought, whereas our ancestors relied upon it life or death. Thankfully, I don't waste extreme amounts of water like say, a wealthy family with a 3 acre front lawn. But I could have conserved more I suppose. I'm not so worried about our water consumption as much as our waste production. The recycling program at our house is still working out very well. The next thing I worry about is our electricity consumption, which is out of this world. I really want some solar panels (I need to cut down some of these trees, first, though!). However, this past weekend the drought took center stage when we went up to my mom's driving range and saw this:

this is the fishing pond. the black thing you see on top of the pipe is the overflow drain. the wall behind it is the dam. there's barely enough water in this poor little pond for fish. I imagine they are all dead. the lake looked ok, and i think it's partly because they sacrificed this fishing pond to make sure the lake didn't go down too much. it's weird walking into what used to be a fishing pond. the floating dock was sitting in the reeds on the wall of the pond. the dogs however, saw water and dove right in - to the mud. it was actually pretty funny watch louie and bibi try to run in mud up to their shoulders. of course, syrus wouldn't dare get that dirty.

in other news, I have officially become a craft addict. I have spent a ridiculous amount of money of fabric - but dear god they are the most beautiful fabrics ever. I almost don't want to cut them. I now have plenty of fabric to make some crafts and even a few skirts. I haven't given up on knitting - I think that's just going to take a little longer. I have banned myself from craft shopping in the meantime. It was starting to get out of hand.

drought

so the drought is a lot worse than i thought. there's even been talk about "running out". i've come across some articles about it in the news and also from chatting with some of the people in my pottery class. it's way serious. the sad thing is, it doesn't have to be. if people and more importantly, the government and developers, conserved water and used their heads to design more water efficiently, we would not be in this much of a crisis. it reminds me of what my sustainability professor said to our class once - he said that man could never bring about the destruction of the planet. the phrase "save the planet" is a misnomer. what we are effectively doing is destroying ourselves. mother nature will prevail no matter what we do. but in that process mankind could be wiped out. and it would be all our fault. there's always a balancing act going on, whatever we dish out will be counteracted by nature. i think we are learning this lesson the hard way now. hopefully it's not too late.

on a brighter note, i made an excellent roasted vegetable lasagna last night. it was probably the most delicious thing i have ever made in my life.

on a darker note, all this talk in the news about staph infections has caused me to worry about my toe - which is still not healed. i did some research on staph infections and it sounds exactly like what i have going on in my toe - it's called ritter disease or scalded skin syndrome. i am kind of mad at the doctors i have been to who have failed to notice this. now that i don't have health insurance i am kind of screwed. why are doctors so damn stupid? what's the point of seeing a doctor when you have a better chance of diagnosis using google!?

and on a even darker note, i am swirling down my little vortex of introversion and loathing. it happens occasionally, usually when i am especially insecure or depressed about something. i begin to really dislike people. all people, strangers and people i know. it's not normal to do this, right? i just think about how ugly people can be even if they don't realize it. by ugly i mean rude, self-absorbed, shallow, mean, condescending, etc. i get especially pissed at my mother when normally the comments she makes rolls right off me. this is a time when i become very anti-social and begin to lose contact with friends and aquaintances. sometimes i come back around but sometimes i don't. i've only got one friend who has survived all of my phases so i'm not worried about her. maybe it's better that i stay awy from people that way i don't have a chance to be dissapointed with them. i just don't know why i get like that and what to do about it.

i also started the compost pile today - finally. who knows if it will work. we need to get some chicken wire and some worms. i can't wait to get the wool fibers i bought on ebay and try felting. my creativity has been so stifled i don't even know where to begin. i got some ideas to start with, though.