soap nuts and shiitake mushrooms

i got my soap nuts today! they are not very pretty nor do they smell very pretty but they do work! i am washing my first load as i type. the package came with a cool gift - soap nut earrings! i saw them on maggie's website but i didn't think they looked nice enough to actually wear but get this - i really like them! they just look like a big black bead. i hope this laundry thing works out, if it does i am a soap nut addict.

and finally i can upload some pics of the first mushroom crop. i kinda messed up the cycle cause i wasn't ready to grow mushrooms but out they came anyways. this pic is after about 3 or 4 days after soaking....





and after about a week - mushrooms! i didn't eat these, though. they are the test crop. right now my log is resting and in a few weeks i'll sprout it again.





i am seriously wanting some hens. 2008 is going to be a good year.

xmas 2007

i had a very relaxing holiday with no real agenda and no pressure. it was marvelous. must do it much more often. johnny and i just did stuff around the house, slept in like crazy, went to the movies, played with the dogs, etc. nice. i got him a new electric hair clipper and he got me a steam cleaner and an external hard drive. we also got my mom an external hard drive. i think my most favorite gifts i recieved so far is the soap from ellen and the book "a slice of organic life" from my boss susan. so thoughtful. i wish i was that thoughtful, i try to be but sometimes it doesn't always work out. i think mostly its because i end up wasting time. i don't plan ahead well enough, either. anyways, i hope everyone had a nice holiday. i ordered some soapnuts and i will post about those as soon as i try them out and i almost forgot! i need to post pictures of my mushroom crop. i got one of those mushroom logs a while back and i took pics of the growing shiitakes.

i am fighting a very strong urge to shop after xmas sales. like IKEA, which is having a big sale. and IKEA just happens to be right around the corner from my office. i hate IKEA but they are good to pick up odds and ends. no furniture, though.

tinkering school

another awesome web find from superpunch - the tinkering school. letting your child learn by doing dangerous things like playing with fire, using a pocketknife, taking things apart, using power tools and - driving! what a novel idea....

if you go to his site you can download and print out these funny stickers. i want to stick one on my bumper!

soap nuts

i love it when i come across something unexpectedly solved by nature. there seems to be an endless line of products from mother nature that for some reason isn't popular knowledge. well, i promise that whenever i find something that can be a healthier, earth friendlier option i will share it with the world no matter how silly it may sound. like soap nuts. yes, nuts that make soap. i got my greener-you newsletter email today and the subject was about this cool tree from china that you can use to do your laundry. since i kinda suck at paraphrasing, i'll just copy paste...

Dariel explained the fascinating history behind soap nuts and how they are relatively unknown in the Western world. Soap Nuts are the dried fruit of the Chinese Soapberry tree (Sapindus mukorrosi), similar to the lychee. A long time ago, local folks in the South East Asia figured out that when the nuts get wet, they release saponin, a natural surfactant, making them great for washing clothes! Maggie's Soap Nuts are the only household cleaner made exclusively from Nature, by Nature. A single soapberry tree produces hundreds of kilos of nuts per year! So they are very sustainable and fall to the ground in Indian and Indonesian forests where they are collected by folks who have used the nuts for centuries.

So how do they work? You take 4 nuts and put them in the linen bag that comes with the box, then use them 2 to 3 times according to the web site. I used mine 5 times. For heavily soiled clothes you can soak the soap nuts in hot water first to soften them up and then throw them in the wash. No fabric softener is needed. Maggie's Soap Nuts naturally soften and add body to your clothes. Soap nuts won't get your whites sparkling and white though. Dariel suggested using a bit of natural oxygen bleach. I suggested buying unbleached organic cotton clothing instead to avoid the issue. Soap nuts are great for delicates like wool and silk so that is a big plus.

i hyperlinked the name of the company that sells them to an amazon page if you wanna try them out. I am very interested and will definitely give these things a try. yay for nature!

i promise not to bitch

i love jibjab. it just makes me happy. when's the last time you laughed so hard your cheeks hurt and tears streamed down your face? i love to laugh like that, and funny videos make me laugh hard. actually, it's pretty easy to make me laugh. right now i have that ding fries are done song stuck in my head and it makes me burst into laughter anytime i hear it.

Peter Ding Fries Are Done Funny Jokes at JibJab

i am looking forward to a relaxing stress free xmas. no cooking a large meal for everyone, no worrying about gifts (even though i did buy people gifts this year), nothing to do but hang out with johnny, the dogs and my playstation. ahhhhhh.....

i just have to add... the bitchy dork in me likes to occasionally write letters to corporate companies about a particular issue that is either bugging me or that i feel should be encouraged. i have written to Marta, Costco, several online shopping sites and of course politicians. today i wrote a letter to varsity and i thought i would share this little note with you guys...

In case you haven't heard, Georgia is experiencing an exceptional drought. Everyone is concerned about water usage and restrictions and penalties are being upheld throught the community. Everyday people are trying to do their part to waste less water by letting their lawns die, not running water, flushing less, showering for less time, etc. What continues to amaze me is how companies seem to think they are exempt from the effort to conserve water. Every morning, I walk past the Varsity restaurant on North Avenue on my way to work. In the past 3 months I have seen someone pressure washing the parking lot on at least 3 seperate occasions. Is it absolutely vital to pressure wash your parking lot that often? I would imagine that the amount of Varsity trash I see accumulating around the restaurants is a much worse blight upon the landscape than a few stains on the asphalt of the parking lot. I would greatly appreciate it if the Varsity would participate in the water conserving efforts of the citizens of Atlanta.
Thank you.

aren't i a sassy one? the more i read it the more it makes me laugh at myself. but i hope they take it seriously.

this is cute - i have a whoville name - Heckling Heather Ockeroo-Who from grinched.com i guess that name fits....

update:
OMG...
it never ceases to amaze me when.... i get responses to my emails. i don't know why but it makes me very appreciative that somebody out there cares enough to respond.
I just got off the phone with the general manager of Varsity restaurants who called my cellphone to speak to me about the pressure washing that his restaurant does. he explained it very courteously that the reason why they pressure wash is for public health and safety, and because they are mandated to do so in an effort to reduce the spread of food born diseases and sickness. makes perfect sense. i thanked him for calling me and explaining that. he said he hated having to do it because he is very concerned about the drought and hopes that we will come out of it soon.

what a nice man. i might have to try some of the food over there, i've never eaten at varsity before. hahaha.... omg i am evil.

peak oil

i learn so much from the internet, it is amazing. i've learned so much about the environment, technology, politics, parenting, home improvement, other people's stories, etc. i learn new things everyday that blow me away. today, for instance, i am learning about peak oil. i never knew what it meant, or how it affects me but with what i am observing about the world today everything seems so much more relevant than it did before. what could be worse than drought and an oil crisis, both of which we are currently dealing with? you can't just sit and wait something like this out.

i am pretty worried about the economy and the state of our planet. all of this is making me pay much more attention to the presidential race going on right now. it's hard to find the perfect candidate because i like one or two things from each. i admire someone for their conviction then find out something i hate about their beliefs. i admire the candidates who are still speaking up for the people and trying to make a difference in the government right now instead of schnozing with celebrities. i also admire candidates who have changed their views - nobody is perfectly right the first time but it takes a smart person to realize that and change. to be able to admit that something didn't work and present a new solution seems to be very rare among politicians. and why oh why does abortion have anything to do with politics?? WHY??? i try pretty hard to be open-minded and not prejudiced but i am so biased. so very biased. i really dislike christianity. when i read this article last week my prejudice was sealed in for good.

one day, the shit will hit the fan.

and just to lighten things up a bit here's a seriously funny video....

the shitstorm....and other stuff

having a house is great. privacy, freedom to do what you want, the ability to really decorate the interior, having a place you can truly call "home". what people may not realize is that there are about a million things that can go wrong with a house and it is up to YOU (or in my case johnny) to fix it - whether you know how to or not. as of right now, we have a leaky roof, no insulation, a scorched front porch, half-finished painting, mildew growing on the exterior, gutters that are detaching from the house, rats living in the basement, a heater that we just recently got to work, a doorbell that went senile and had to be taken out, cracks that you can actually see outside through, about a foot of pinestraw on the roof, a kitchen floor that sags, a bathtub that leaks and will probably fall through the floor soon, and half of the electrical outlets and switches that need replacing and/or a switchplate. and as soon as you get one thing under control another thing breaks down. and i hate it when my stepbrother is the one to break the news. last time we woke up to fire but this time right before bed saturday night he tells us that raw sewage is filling up the basement bathroom.

what do we do? there's nothing except don't flush any more toilets and hope that everything will go away by morning. not so much. first thing sunday morning johnny tackled the sewage problem. poor johnny. he hates to smell stinky things - it makes him gag. i have to admit, having a man around the house sure comes in handy cause i didn't even go downstairs to see the situation. all i know is johnny spent all morning trying to figure out how to fix it. it took a 25' long snake and some serious chemicals to unclog the sewer pipe. i wasn't so happy about the chemicals but it was either that or run the risk of flooding the basement in poopwater.

johnny needs a man of the year award for all the crap he's had to put up with since moving up here. i am very proud of how he handles everything - i mean, i'd be cranky too if i was elbow-deep in poo.

i would have just called a plumber.

in other weekend news, johnny and i went to the west end to help move my mom's office for the hundreth time. that woman does not understand the meaning of portability. her freakin desk was unreasonably heavy. and those damn sun faded burnt orange cruched velvet sectional couches from the 60's - yeah you don't need to see a picture to know how hideous they are - those couches have beeen all over the world and back. we brought them into the space she is using for her dollar store and also to check out our future business space. not happenin'. it's a nice space and would be perfect but she wants us to just use a couple of rooms in the back. hell naw - if we wanted to work in a closet, we can set up shop in our basement. we need a real shop. i was kind of pissed cause this is so typical of my mom. dangle the carrot and right before you chomp it shrinks down to a pea. or you take a bite and realize you have just sold your soul to satan...

so if we are gonna start small with a basement press room then we are gonna stay at home and forget about the govt loan and starting off with a huge 4 color press. we start small. i guess that's how many successfull businesses start, huh?

and last but not least johnny applied to the digital design program at Ai. i am very happy and he's nervous but i think he will be an excellent student. winter quarter begins january 7th. what a great way to start off 2008!

i finally get to open the calendar that inspires me so much - the front of it says "live with intention". i really like that saying.

baby talk

i'm just going to get this one post out of the way while i'm thinking about it and in the mood to write about it. it seems like the past two years the subject of spawning children has been thrown in my face everywhere i go. at work there were at least 3 or 4 women pregnant at all times. i start hearing about so-and-so from college who got married to you-know-who and had kids. then, my good friend V dropped a bombshell recently and announced her pregnancy. so, now i'm starting to feel left behind. but not to the point where i wanna go out and get knocked up immediately, so it's all good. but it's gonna happen - eventually.

this is monumental, folks. i am not a wanna-have-a-baby type of girl. i do not get all mushy over a baby like some women do. yeah, some kids are cute but mostly i just see a drooling little parasite that requires constant upkeep. i seriously prefer dogs. i watch those birth stories on tlc in complete shock and horror, like i've just seen a train wreck. the thought of the birthing process grossed me out completely. but the funny thing is, breaking my ankle changed my view. i'm sure my orthopedic surgeon had no idea how much his words would make a difference to me after he set my leg back into place. PAIN was being redefined as i screamed at the top of my lungs and he pulled and twisted my broken tibia and fibula back into a resemblance of an ankle. it all happened quickly, and he was very efficient but it hurt like hell nonetheless. afterwards he looked at me and said "childbrith will be a breeze for you now". and i thought ... really?

so now i'm not as hypersensitive about the pain of it all and i was able to really do some reasearch about the childbirth process. see, i research the hell out of things when i am worried about it... like death, starting a new business, changing careers, etc... anyways, that on top of my enthusiatically pregger friend V who has slowly transitioned me from a woman who likened giving birth with the horrible scene from Alien when the worm-like thing popped from that guy's stomach to actually planning my future birth. I'm close to a point where getting pregnant might not feel like the end of the world to me. but if i think about it too hard it still kind of freaks me out. but yeah, giving birth is undeniably the most amazing thing that humans can do. too bad it's been all chopped up and prepackaged for many women....

so, about a year or so ago i began a personal diary sort of thing to prepare and guide myself through pregnancy and raising kids. i did this as a failsafe to my admittedly instable personality. i don't ever want to take out my emotions on my kid. i want to make sure that i don't scar my kids for life by saying something i didn't mean to or doing something i didn't realize hurt them. it's actually kind of frightening how much power and influence a parent has over their kid - for example, my mother said to me once when i was really little, like 5 or 6 yrs old - "don't be a selfish pig" in reference to me wanting something (i think it was food). for some reason that line stuck with me for the rest of my life and it influenced me negatively in so many things, both conscious and subconscious. i am sure she didn't realize what she said would do that, but nonetheless it became a part of who i am. it made me insecure, worry about what others would think of me, worried that i really was a selfish pig, worried that nobody would like me because i was so awful. it also made me think i was fat since i was 6. i remember quite clearly sitting in the bathtub and thinking to myself "i am a fat kid" at that age. my mother had no idea. she's a totally different person now, but i don't want to make that same mistake. i think my sister has the same exact idea as i do. everything she does for her kids are an attempt to avoid the damage our mother did to us. in her defense, my mother was tormented in her youth, too. she didn't know any better, and i can forgive her for that. but i could not live with myself if i had that kind of effect on my kids. so i will do everything i can think of in my power to keep myself from unintentionally undermining my kid's self-esteem or confidence. or trust in me.

back to the diary - it's basically a collection of tips and advice i have found in various places - some of my own thoughts about how i want to raise my kids. rules, mission statements, guidelines, and of course the list of baby names i like. who deosn't have that? occasionally johnny and i will throw around some names we like and recently i actually made up a name that we both liked - mavelyn. it is actually fun to dream about having kids - i think maybe more fun than actually going through it. i have random thoughts throughout the day and a really bad memory so i have to keep a running file on my computer at work to jot down stuff i want to read later when the time comes. well, that's not such a secure way to store such information so i've been thinking about keeping it here on my blog - which i really write in for my kids and myself in the future anyways. and i would love to read comments on them. believe it or not, unlike many people, i am pretty open to criticism. design studios have taught me that ability. so, withought further rambling i would like to post the first piece from my raising my kids diary.

Baby Girl Names I Like: Abigail, Alexis, Autumn, Amber, Audrey, Carlee, Chloe, Cordelia, Dierdre, Emmelia (another one i made up), Eleanor, Fawn, Fern, Genevieve, Grace, Gwyneth, Gillian, Hannah (my bff in korea's name), Hailey, Harmony, Hazel, Justine, Keilani, Kimora, Kailee, Lidia, Lily, Lealana, Matilda, Madeline, Meadow, Melody, Mabel, Malorie, Mila, Morgana, Mavelyn, Noemi, Olivia, Oliana, Phoebe, Piper, Pomona, Rhiannon, Sophia, Scarlet, Tabitha, Vivien, Virginia, Willow, and Wilhelmina. I like middle names that are flowers or animals for some reason. very hippy and cliche but i like 'em.

Baby Boy Names I Like: Arthur, Adam, Ashton, Benjamin, Bradley, Cole, Conan, Connor, Colm, Daniel, Devan, Dylan, Elliot, Ethan, Finley, Fredrick, Garret, Gareth, Harold, Harrison, Ian, Jarrod, Joshua, Jeremiah, Jeremy, Jacob, Kieran, Kevin, Kinsey, Korbin, Liam, Lucas, Maddox, Maxwell, Miles, Oliver, Owen, Percival, Perry, Phillip, Quinn, Reese, Remy, Russell, Seth, Sean, Stanley, Thomas, Tristan, Theo, Victor, Vaughn, Warren and Wilbur.

I didn't find as many boy names I like and there are a ton of names, all of which seem over-used. Most of them are really irish or biblical, neither of which really fits in with me. If I wanted to go norweigan and korean we would have some ugly baby names. it'll sound like hawking a loogie. I want to try to find at least one name I like for every letter of the alphabet. Girl names are definitely a lot more fun. We've decided that I'll pass on my surname to our daughter and Johnny will pass his to our son. that way we can continue the sort of matriarchal surname tradition on my side of the family and johnny can pass his name down, too. seeing as he is the only boy in his family that still has the potential to hand down the family name....

my xmas list

seeing as only 3 people read my blog, i am not concerned about anyone actually going out to buy something on my xmas list. if you happen to be one of those 3, please don't take this as a hint about what to get me for xmas. I really don't need anything but good times with my friends & family... besides this isn't a modest list...

now, disclaimer aside, here is a list of stuff I would really like to have one day...

- soymilk maker, tofu making set

- carpet and upholstery steam vacuum cleaner

- rowing machine

- drill press

- pottery wheel

- Wii

- enamel coated dutch oven

- kitchenaid stand mixer

notice that everything costs in the triple digits. i'm expensive. oh, i will get everything on this list - eventually... if i had to pick just ONE thing from it, it would be the rowing machine. why? because it's something i'll need the most for 2008 - in my effort to be healthier. the next thing i would get is the steam cleaner. we could really really use the heck out of that. all the other stuff is just me being greedy. it's nice to dream, though.... the best of all would be if i could find all this stuff in good condition secondhand. craigslist here i come....

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

the case of the rotting stench

i've been taking marta on a pretty consistent basis now and i am waiting for the pounds to melt off. not happenin. i am also too pooped by the time i get home to do much of anything - like walk. i'm hoping more than anything that all this walking is helping my ankle return to normal. besides inhaling exhaust i enjoy my daily walks through the ga tech campus, listening to my zune and just daydreaming.

now to the humor. last night after work i was sitting on the couch and i kept smelling something funky. i couldn't really tell though because my sense of smell is a bit off. plus we have 3 dogs, 2 cats and a dirty kitchen. so i dismissed the smell as dog flatulence. i did, however mention it to johnny who also dismissed the smell.

we made chili and rice and watched mr. & mrs. smith on the couch. once we finished eating, johnny looked over at me with the same face i had on - "what's that smell?" it was confirmed - there was indeed a funky smell coming from somewhere in the vicinity of the living room. since we had all three dogs lounging on the couch with us we naturally assumed one of them farted. then johnny remembered that syrus has a chronic case of anal gland issues and suggested that his butt was seeping. i have never in my life expressed a dog's anal glands nor do i intend to. johnny said that a sniff test was in order - which i answered with a you-must-be-crazy look. so, at johnny's request i got a tissue and wiped syrus's butt. i couldn't bring myself to smell it so i gave it to johnny and he sniffed the tissue. at this point i can't contain my laughter and i start to wheeze from laughing so hard. he then wiped bibi & louie's ass and confirmed that the smell was not coming from them! omg - i was dying. johnny threatened to kill me if i blogged about what he did so i guess this is my last post, people. nice knowin' ya....

we searched high and low for the source of the smell and could not find it. it smelled like decomposing garbage mixed with some natural gas. we wondered if a rat died somewhere around the house or maybe...no, the smell is just too bad for it to be anything but something organic rotting. we still don't know where the smell is coming from. we slept with some windows open seeing as it's been in the mid 70's here all week.

life plans

i just have to get something out of my head first cause it's haunting me. last night i saw a puppy dying on the side of the street. it must have gotten hit by a car. it seemed to look straight at me, and the image is burned into my head. i hate to see shit like that, it bothers me very badly for days. i was depressed all last night. but johnny helped to make it better by making me my favorite dish - spaghetti. he hates it when i am sad. which is like a lot these days. i think it's just a mix of pms and bad luck but he thinks i might actually suffer from depression. well, whatever. who doesn't? my problem is that i dwell obsessively on the morbid and negative. i can't help it. i really really wish that i didn't do that. i like to think i am an optimistic person with enthusiasm. on the other hand for some reason too much beauty and happiness also makes me cry - some things seem to me too awesome to handle. wtf? what's wrong with me? either way my emotions are extreme and all bottled up inside cause i can't explain it. maybe i should really find a therapist. johnny wants hypnotherapy to quit smoking. at this point, i agree. i can't stand it anymore. it gives me headaches and makes it that much more difficult to breathe when i already have asthma. he also smells like smoke all the time. it sucks. more importantly, he's killing himself slowly which pisses me off the most. he is otherwise perfectly healthy. quit smoking, dammit. he is trying a bit - got patches and nicotine gum. 2008 is going to be a good year, remember?

now that the bad stuff is out of the way i can focus on the good stuff. such as life plans. i've always sort of just sat back and let life lead me but now i want to lead my life. i know in the back of my head what i need to do, but in typical ocd heather fashion, i must list and categorize it first. to start off, i need to take my LEED AP exam and get it over with. i have put that off for waaaay too long. that's me being lazy. which is my default status unless there's a fire lit under me. i also need to get my IDP credits signed off by ex-boss asap. like by january asap. once i have that out of the way, i imagine i will get busier at work. during that time i am going to help johnny as much as possible to get through school. he wants to go to AI to learn graphic design. i think he should get the digital design associate but he has to apply for financial aid first. while he's in school i am going to figure out how to finance our business. we have some leads i just need to follow up. we came up with a really good business plan to start an environmentally friendly printing company to cater to the green businesses in atlanta. we are going to start off applying for a govt. subsidied loan for new businesses in a dehabilitated area of town. it's actually a part of downtown that is growing rapidly and hopefully we can contribute to its revitalization by offering services to local walk-in customers like internet/computer access and recycling. i hope we can open our business by next summer. i know that's a stretch but it's a starting point. my other business idea is to start a pedicab/ rickshaw service in buckhead but i am in no shape to be bicycling around buckhead, much less carrying people. johnny smokes too much to do that too, so we'll go with the print shop. johnny knows everything about printing so we have some expertise already in the bank. this can also be a way to sell some bamboo/hemp printed t-shirts like we originally wanted.

at some point, johnny and i will have to consider ourselves. i originally wanted to start a family by the time i was 28. that milestone has passed. i am facing 30 in 6 months and even though i do want a kid, the thought of actually having one scares me almost to death. that's a whole another topic...

it's that time again...

once a year johnny and i torture our dogs and have their picture taken with santy claws. this year was miraculously easy. i say this because syrus is deathly afraid of santa, bibi is just too strong and stubborn for anyone else but us to hold, and this was louie's first picture so we didn't know how he would handle it. they did beautifully. please just take a moment to soak in the hilarity and look at the picture. look at how damn goofy louie looks - he hasn't got a thought in his head so we got him the big moose ears. bibi has on a halo (naturally) and syrus is rudolph. he looks like he is trying to distance himself as far away from the guy in red as possible. we had an audience of people watching to see how it would all pan out - when the lady with the camera snapped the photo, everyone made shrill noises to keep the dog's attention forward. it was kind of scary.

14 acres & a 60th bday

johnny and i just got home from dry pond where my mom is probably still belting out korean karaoke songs. it's her 60th bday and a bunch of her friends came over to eat and sing. unfortunately, my poor mom has a very bad ear infection and she is in quite a bit of pain. but nothing can stop my mom from having a party. when i was a kid, she used to invite all her friends to my birthday party and it always ended up being more her party than mine but i got used to it; i liked to see my mom having a good time. i can only take so much karaoke, though. she loved the digital picture frame - everyone was oohing and aahhing over it. i also gave her the shiitake mushroom log all wrapped up. i think her friends were jealous at all the awesome gifts she got.....



before the party, johnny and i went to 14 acres and surveyed the land. we let louie run around (we left syrus and bibi at home) and we hiked along the creek as far back as we dared to go with the daylight fading. i am falling in love with this land - it's pretty wild. there's little to no evidence of people being there - i found a really old rusted soda can and someone long ago carved their name on a tree by the banks of the creek. the ground is completely covered in a thick blanket of leaves, which made walking the land treacherous. i almost broke my legs when i stepped into a deep hole that had been filled with leaves. i fell as though the ground gave away beneath me, like in a cartoon, up to my knees. for a split second i panicked but it was no big deal.



i totally love the creek - it winds between our land and the neighbors - everything to the right of the creek is ours and everything to the left belongs to another farm. they have cows. the creek has some small waterfalls - and even beavers! we saw at least 3 beaver dams - so cute. we saw evidence of busy beavers all around the banks of the creek - all the trees had been chewed about a foot from the ground in a perfect conical shape. the creek is definitely the highlight of the property - but most of it just looks like this:



....lots and lots of leaves and tall scraggly trees. i don't recall seeing any pines - a blessing! i hate pines! i have enough of them at my house. occasionally we come across big hardwood trees that grow in a clump. i think they are birch trees? i love them. see the carving? we are going to bush hog all of the small brush but leave the bigger trees. the land will look very different after that.

desperately needed hope and inspiration

despite the fact that johnny and i had to wake up and leave the house by 6:30 am, i am in very good spirits today. i took marta and met my mom at our second southface sustainable roundtable. this roundtable's topic was food. i was all over it as soon as i heard about it. i knew my mom would be down for it so we signed up. there were three speakers - a guy who does urban farming programs, a master chef, and a co-housing community farmer. it was very interesting and heartwarming and i listened to every word. after the lectures, i went straght up to the co-housing guy and asked him about interning on his farm. he said he had one spot left and that i could apply. so right away i emailed him when i got to work.

i also spoke to a lady from UGA's agriculture dept. and she gave me information about a certificate program in sustainable farming. since the alpaca farm didn't reply to me, i think i am going to have to go through contacts via southface - but that's even better! oh my god - i feel so much closer to my dream i am overwhelmed with hope and inspiration. one thing unanimously agreed upon is that georgia needs more - more organic farmers, more sustainable processing facilities, more farmer's markets and CSA's. the demand is there and strong - we just need more people to supply. during lectures my mom would lean over and whisper into my ear about roof gardens on her hotel and having ricky spread chicken poop on the 14 acres.... oh my god.... my 14 acres.

i am going to have to name it soon.... mom has dry pond but i want something unique and expressive. when johnny and i walked around the land it was nothing but a forest of small hardwood trees. relatively few pines and a few larger hardwoods. it's atop a pretty steep hill but there's plenty of flatness. there's a bubbling creek at the bottom of the hill, alongside the property line that has a small waterfall. the ground is soft and organic - and the only access is a dirt road alongside the interstate. we will have to put sound dampening skyrocket junipers and probably a bridge of some sort to cross over the really deep culvert, but first and foremost i must plant the orchard. this weekend i am going to visit the site again and i'll post pictures. i am pretty excited!

daemons

this is a fun little quiz.... i am looking forward to seeing this movie, too. seems like a while since i've been to a good movie. johnny and i have been using netflix for about a month now and it's really nice. we are using the heck out of membership, that's for sure. we probably get about 9 dvd's a week, 3 at a time. yeah.

i read a couple of articles on MSN about death. it sounds morbid and everything but i actually learned a lot. it's a sad event but of course inevitable. there are ways to make it less - traumatic..? i think about my own mortality probably way more than i should but only because it scares me so much. there are some really horrible ways to die, and i wondered why do humans have to suffer long drawn-out painful deaths if everyone knows it's going to happen? you should be able to choose to put yourself out of misery. i don't want to die slowly from pressure on my brain, i would rather be put to sleep. that way i can say my goodbye's and not make my friends and family suffer along with me. it that against the law? would it be considered suicide? it seems like you should be able to exit this life on your own terms (where possible). well, i know this blog is turning a bit dark lately but i think death is an important issue and the more i know about it the better i seem to feel.

i am so ready for this year to be over. i really really hope next year will be good. i don't know how to guarantee it, but i'll try. i need to remain honest with myself and don't be lazy.

FU 2007 - Hello 2008

since my last post is so depressing, i can't let it be the top of the page for too long. It's a looong story but we've got bibi stablized for the time being. she is still in serious condition but we are coping. let's just say this week has sucked pretty bad - i'm still coughing like crazy and yesterday i spent about an hour in the morning cleaning up dog poo and vomit before i went to work. but it's all over (i hope) and i am going to put it behind me. we just have a few weeks left in 2007 and despite the extremely shitty year it's been i would like to try to make the best of what's left. i am really really hoping that 2008 will be a blessed year for us and to help remind us that things CAN be worse I am going to highlight some of the shittiest events of 2007. (in chronological order)

1. *I got rid of James (after calling off the wedding at the last minute)
2. I broke my ankle in two places requiring metal implant surgery
3. I was bedridden for a month, wheelchair bound for a month, crutches for another month and still in pain/discomfort
4. I had to call off my AT hike (obviously)
5. I lost a couple of friends in a huge argument (misunderstanding, actually)
6. Louie had to have a hematoma removed from his head
7. I got a nasty skin infection on my toe which still isn't healed
8. I got very ill with flu and cold - several times
9. I got fired
10. I was unemployed for 2 months
11. Bibi is critically injured

oh, and an honorable mention to all the little shit that happened in-between all of the above including (but not limited to) bouts of depression, weight gain, financial hardships, and various medical maladies that would be TMI for most of you.

*note: this is actually a really good thing, but going through it was hell.

The good things that happened to me this year are: Johnny and I got back together.
And to prove that I CAN turn lemons into lemonade - I realized how completely miserable I have made myself by not following my own heart and from now on I am going to make better decisions. This year has been about learning lessons the hard way so hopefully i can use this knowledge to make next year better. The most valuable lesson - rely on nobody but yourself. Nobody else is going to help you make the decisions you need to make or help you through anything. Be as self-reliant as possible. That will be my motto from henceforth.

Johnny and i agree that we can't be victims of consequence. we should try to be as independant as possible - starting with our careers. living under the fear that you could be unemployed at the drop of a hat is damaging to your soul. why work to make someone else rich? we are going to come up with some plans to make our own business and slowly wean ourselves off of working for other people.

In order to start off 2008 right, there are some items that need to be resolved this month: Bibi's legs, our budget, my IDP credits, and a business plan. One of our highest priorities for next year is HEALTH. something that cannot be taken for granted. I am tired of being sickly and fat whereas johnny has made serious health advances this year by quitting mt. dew and tapering off the junk food and smoking. i haven't done shit to improve my health except educate myself.

My mother's brithday is coming up and i got her that digital photo frame. i think she will like it a lot.

bibi can't walk

this is a very difficult post for me, i have been very very upset since sunday and didn't even want to write about it but i think i should. we took the dogs to dry pond to run around and bibi somehow hurt her good hind leg. now both her back legs are bad. the left one is lame from the surgery that failed back in spring and now it's the only hind leg that she can use because she stopped using her right one altogether. i'm so devastated i can't stop crying and i want to throw up. we are probably going to have to have the implant surgery on both hind legs which means she won't be able to walk for a while - and for bibi that's going to be tough. she is such an active dog, she loves to swim in the ocean, run at top speed, and wrestle. i don't even know how we are going to get her to potty, much less play. she's only 3 years old. it will take months for her to heal, then we have to figure out how to get her physical therapy which is basically learning to walk again in a pool. i had to do that when i broke my ankle and it can be tough - not just physically but emotionally. she's a very dense dog and after all of this i'm afraid she will be reduced to half her size. the worst is sitting at work knowing she is at home in pain and not being able to do anything about it. i am trying very hard to get her vet to admit her to UGA's vet hospital for emergency orthopedic surgery. until then, she won't eat, drink or even wag her tail...poor bunni....i just hope we can afford all of this because if we can't i really dont know what to do.