drought

so the drought is a lot worse than i thought. there's even been talk about "running out". i've come across some articles about it in the news and also from chatting with some of the people in my pottery class. it's way serious. the sad thing is, it doesn't have to be. if people and more importantly, the government and developers, conserved water and used their heads to design more water efficiently, we would not be in this much of a crisis. it reminds me of what my sustainability professor said to our class once - he said that man could never bring about the destruction of the planet. the phrase "save the planet" is a misnomer. what we are effectively doing is destroying ourselves. mother nature will prevail no matter what we do. but in that process mankind could be wiped out. and it would be all our fault. there's always a balancing act going on, whatever we dish out will be counteracted by nature. i think we are learning this lesson the hard way now. hopefully it's not too late.

on a brighter note, i made an excellent roasted vegetable lasagna last night. it was probably the most delicious thing i have ever made in my life.

on a darker note, all this talk in the news about staph infections has caused me to worry about my toe - which is still not healed. i did some research on staph infections and it sounds exactly like what i have going on in my toe - it's called ritter disease or scalded skin syndrome. i am kind of mad at the doctors i have been to who have failed to notice this. now that i don't have health insurance i am kind of screwed. why are doctors so damn stupid? what's the point of seeing a doctor when you have a better chance of diagnosis using google!?

and on a even darker note, i am swirling down my little vortex of introversion and loathing. it happens occasionally, usually when i am especially insecure or depressed about something. i begin to really dislike people. all people, strangers and people i know. it's not normal to do this, right? i just think about how ugly people can be even if they don't realize it. by ugly i mean rude, self-absorbed, shallow, mean, condescending, etc. i get especially pissed at my mother when normally the comments she makes rolls right off me. this is a time when i become very anti-social and begin to lose contact with friends and aquaintances. sometimes i come back around but sometimes i don't. i've only got one friend who has survived all of my phases so i'm not worried about her. maybe it's better that i stay awy from people that way i don't have a chance to be dissapointed with them. i just don't know why i get like that and what to do about it.

i also started the compost pile today - finally. who knows if it will work. we need to get some chicken wire and some worms. i can't wait to get the wool fibers i bought on ebay and try felting. my creativity has been so stifled i don't even know where to begin. i got some ideas to start with, though.