weekend in pictures

look at how much the bamboo has grown overnight, i'd say about 3 or 4 inches. it's funny how the bamboo does not grow on the little trail that the dogs have carved in the ivy going up to Marge's fence. hopefully enough bamboo stalks will mature to provide a nice little screen. unfortunately, louie and syrus love to knock over the shoots and chew on them!

i'm going to harvest some shoots today and make some delicious dishes with them.

today johnny and i went to home depot (boo) and got a few odds and ends for the coop he's building. i bought some $5 gal of dark blue oops paint and white exterior semi-gloss for the trim. i also got four bales of hay, which i had to cram into my mazda. fun!


louie was posing for me this morning so i took some paparazzi shots. look at him, seducing the camera. holding his football and panting lightly. he was wagging his tail a bit, too. he loves to have his picture taken!

syrus hates it. bibi doesn't care either way, but seriously she need to be on the cover of a magazine. i know i'm sick...




i also decided to start inventory-ing our fridge to keep on top of what we have in there so we can come up with meals to make without rooting through the fridge. i am thinking about making this into an excel spreadsheet and color coding them. i think i can make a nice little system here!













here is the official week #2 photo! wooohoo! it's a little late but you can see clearly that the seedlings are taking off! i also planted peas & beans around the teepee which have just started to come out of the ground. i couldn't resist myself at home depot and bought a few more plants - a climbing jasmine to plant near the back porch and a sweet basil, cinnamon basil, and leeks seedlings.

here is the progress thus far of the coop. it's very sturdy and well-crafted. johnny is doing a wonderful job! seriously, it's more like a chicken bunker! well, they are gonna need all the protection they can get - choco will be surrounding their compound waiting for the first opportunity, i'm sure...

brainwashing myself

so there's an article on unclutterer that really makes sense to me, considering i am one of those people who believes in brainwashing. i have tried self hypnosis during my temporary insanity period of college. i was going nuts, didn't know how to deal with it so got someone to prescribe drugs for me. i ended up on effexor and it turned me into a zombie. every night i had surrealistic dreams of being a man and swimming with seals in the arctic. it was like a quasi-permanent state of tripping. believe me, i know. needless to say, it was not helping or solving any problems so i quit cold-turkey which is comparable to a bad acid trip while pmsing.

i still had the issues that made me turn to pharmaceuticals in the first place, so i explored hypnosis, which my father allegedly knows all about. that didn't work as well as i had hoped, but i did learn how to visualize my rage as a bright red and turn it into a less insane shade of blue-green. i made mandalas in my head. it helps, when i remember to use the technique.

then i came across a random quote that made me realize that i had been brainwashed all my life. to this day, i cannot remember the exact quote, and i don't remember where i read it or who said it, but the gist of it is that suffering the abuse of power long enough will turn you into ______. i can't remember that exact word, and it drives me crazy, but at the time i read that quote, it made so much sense and i instantly knew how it applied to my life.

this post could go down another long and dark path, so i'm going to cut the story short here. basically, i think i could use this brainwashing susceptibilty to my advantage. i could turn lemons onto lemonade, if i can figure out how to get there. i might need professional help, but wouldn't it be worth it? i'm tired of extremes. i don't want to be a zombie, but i don't want to be crazy, either. i want to make my life my way, not as a result of everything that has been done to me, or my lack of conviction or fears. the funny thing is, i KNOW what i am capable of, i have been tested (to quote hillary) and i have seen the power that my mind has over my body and my will. i'm actually proud of how well i am able to handle things when i have no other choice. but lazy, spoiled and resentful me has taken hostage of me right now and she's hanging on. does this make me sound utterly nuts or does this make any sense? i'll shut up now.

lost junkie

in case ya didn't know...LOST is the most addictive tv show ever. i don't watch a lot of tv in comparison to most people, usually when i do watch tv its CNN or TLC or the History channel - and mostly just browsing through while dinner cooks. but the tv shows that i am really hooked on i only watch on DVD - months after they have aired. johnny and i have watched the last 2.5 seasons of lost since i signed on with netflix several weeks ago. we watch an entire DVD in one sitting, which is about 4 episodes. then i found lostpedia. at this point, i may need professional help.

the other shows i'm addicted to are: battlestar galactica (i yearn for new episodes of this), weeds, and charmed. yes, charmed is corny but i love it.

i'm so hooked on lost, i am actually quite concerned with how i am going to get my hands on the 4th season, seeing as it's already begun and we haven't finished the 3rd one yet.

btw,
johnny sent me the most beautiful and wonderfully fragrant roses to my job today. i think it's the first time he's ever done something like that. he just scored major points. good job, honey.

don't forget...

...about my supplemental blog pages. i made it because i am a neurotic list-maker and needed someplace to put this info. well, it turns out that there are some good ideas and resources there if you are a like-minded individual who likes saving money, being green, etc etc. the link should be to the right of this page (right above my virtual city - land of milk and honey - which you should also visit!) and for your convenience, you can also click here.

i always end up adding to my posts....

i just got an email from one of the advocacy groups i support about the retroactive immunity that the senate just passed for telecom companies. boo. anyways, i hate supporting giant corporate companies but don't know of any more conscientious companies that provide the same product/services that i need. i use verizon for my mobile phone and i HATE THEM. i don't care for sprint, at&t, or cingular either. well, there's this phone company called CREDO that supports causes like women's right, civil liberties, international peace, etc. their website is pretty informative and it's not a bad deal, they will even buy out your old contract. i'll have to give them a try!

another brainfart

so this here is another one of my ideas that will probably never live to see it's fullest potential but warrants an attempt (as feeble as it may be) by me in an effort to be more "normal". why do i want to be more "normal" you may ask? well, i believe in opposites. i believe without hate you cannot have love, without sadness you can't have happiness, etc, etc... well, i have been around "abnormal" my whole life so i thought i should give being normal a try. normal just looks so - wholesome. like the picture of the athletic (but not too athletic!) woman jogging along a lake with a carefree smile and matching soft pink spandex workout bra and shorts. she looks happy. she looks healthy. happy and healthy. happy healthy people that everyone likes and gets along with. happy healthy people get to do normal things with other normal people while unhappy unhealthy people sit at home and seethe at them.

so there's this thing i've heard about called a "routine". this is something that most people seem to have - whether its conscious or not. example of typical routine: you wake up, brush your teeth, comb your hair, have a cup of coffee, read the newspaper, get dressed, go to work, come home, check your mail, take out the trash, cook dinner, eat, go for a walk, watch your favorite tv show, take a shower, read a book, and go to sleep. it's not as monotonous as it may sound because in between all of that you are doing other small things but what's important is that you do those same things everyday. it's not like those are activities that you can skip for a few days and then pick up later. everyone has to brush their teeth, eat, go to work, check mail, etc at some point, right? well, i tend to do everything when i REMEMBER to do it, which fails more often than not. sometimes i don't even care - for example bathing. this is an activity i have hated since childhood. i still do. i try to get it over with as quickly as possible. being wet doesn't bother me - and i love soap. i hate being damp. i hate having to dry off every stupid little droplet of water off my skin, and having to get all dressed up again. it's too much work for me. i would rather just bathe and wrap a big cloth around me and call it a day. i guess i hate dressing more than bathing but i always have to get dressed after i bathe, right? i digress. i am completely nuts, huh? ok, so back to the whole routine concept. i hear that routine is good. i believe that it probably is - and i have tried and tried to stick to a routine but it always fails. because i am lazy. because i am apathetic and don't believe that anything will ever make a damn bit of difference in the long run. but it does!! so i decided to challenge myself to stick to a routine for one week. here is a draft of my proposed routine:

8 am - wake up & stretch.
8:15 - brush teeth, wash face & moisturize.
8:30 - make coffee, turn on news, feed dogs, & get dressed (ugh!)
9 am - eat breakfast, take vitamins, check email, make phone calls, pay bills, etc.
10 am - go for walk/bike ride.
10:45 - do something productive until lunch.
12:30 pm - make & eat lunch.
1:15 - shopping (grocery, etc), running errands, or cleaning.
2:30 - rest. meditate.
3 pm - work in office & have a snack.
5 pm - check mail, take out trash, last minute cleaning.
6 pm - hang out with johnny.
7 pm - cook dinner & eat - clean kitchen afterwards!
8 pm - go for walk with johnny & dogs. play.
9 pm - shower, brush teeth, & take vitamins while johnny checks email, etc.
10 pm - watch favorite tv shows.
11 pm - leave johnny alone so he can go to sleep. read a book.

doesn't this sound like a good day? i think it does. if i can stick to this for a week i will be very proud of myself. the weekend are going to completely mess up this routine but i must establish a good weekday routine.

I HATE CLEANING!!!!!!!!!!

usually cleaning makes me feel happy and productive. today it's just pissin me off. i need to just chill out for a bit. i think i am going to get a pair of glasses. i wear contact but my face is so bland. my glasses are too thick to wear all the time, plus i get the fishbowl effect and my eyes look like beads. i think i am going to get just frames with no prescription. is that stupid? i wanna look smart. i also have an invention idea for exercising. it's pretty good. i gotta figure out how to make it though. i also made two decisions regarding employment. i want to be a teacher, so i am going to see if i can get a teaching job. OR i could get a job that requires being more active. i just haven't really figured out what kind of job lets me be active without working my ass to death. now, keep in mind i only say that because i am trying to get rid of my asthma, not make it worse AND i still have issues walking with my left foot getting swollen and sore. any ideas?
i also had a little OCD episode flare-up. i actually get angry when i organize things and then have to re-organize it again a short time later. i also get angry when people take things without asking - or even just letting me know so i don't waste a bunch of time looking for it. i also hate that my stepbrother won't clean the basement at all. i don't like him bringin his drunk buddies over either. i must be pmsing....i hate it when i get angry and the dogs get scared. i also hate cleaning toilets. i hate the smell of bleach. i hate that i have to clean up big nests of my hair that collect in the drain. (not anymore now with my perm though!) ok done ranting.

"to abrogate suffering is not a panacea for happiness."
-Heather Om, unemployed nobody

(i just tried to make a sentence using two "words of the day" at dictionary.com)

therapy?

here's what happens when you have too much extra time and your OCD kicks in full force...
vanessa i can be your first victim...i mean patient....haha..




and i just have to add this cute picture of goofy louie - who MUST check in on what mama is doing at the computer every few minutes or so.....

he just sticks his nose in the hole between my arm and my boob....sniffs a bit then runs off.