was it all meant to be?

it's been an eventful week for us. johnny received news from his family in beaufort that his father is not faring so well after his triple bypass and leaky valve repair. so, johnny made the somewhat difficult decision to leave new york in the middle of his training to see his dad at the hospital in savannah. he arrived in atlanta late friday night (which is a whole 'nother story in and of itself...) and we drove to savannah saturday morning with all three dogs and a well-packed suitcase. i dropped johnny off at st.joeseph's and met up with my bff kim. we hung out a bit, went to the pita pit with the dogs (they get lots of attention cause they are so damn cute) and then i drove back to beaufort where johnny was waiting for me at his parent's house.

i have travelled so much between savannah, beaufort, and atlanta that all three places feel like home. i am equally happy to arrive to each place. in any case, stepping into johnny's parent's house is like stepping back in time about 20 years. the house is small and modest - but it just feels like a family lives there. there are old pictures all over the walls, all kind of figurines and paintings of the beach... i've never spent the night at their house before - mainly because johnny's old house is right around the corner and we always stayed there - but this time we left the dogs with jimmy and stayed in johnny's dad's bedroom. this is quite possibly the scariest bedroom i have ever been in. everywhere you look is either a picture of jesus, virgin mary, crosses, and angels. he has a big wooden plaque with the last supper on it and an even bigger velvet painting (yes - from the 60's) of jesus kneeling in prayer. they have little decorative bowls next to each door that keeps holy water in it! the bed was hard as a rock and much smaller than johnny and i are used to. i can only describe the first night there as - provocative (don't do that! jesus is watching).

we visited savannah again the next day and this time i saw johnny's dad. it's hard to see someone you know hooked up to all those machines and totally unconscious. we ended up staying there most of the day, hanging out at the hospital or the hotel across the street where johnny's mom rented a room for the night. so much has happened it's hard to write it all down now, especially since i am on a computer that is from the 90's. i have taken pictures while we are here, but i have to wait until i get home to upload those. so until then, all i can say is that johnny's dad is in stable, yet critical, condition. he is fighting off a bad case of pneumonia and a nasty staph infection but his heart is getting stronger and his color looks better. there is a lot of support down here for the family (remind me to tell you about 100% roman catholic tshirts later) so we are being optimistic. we also told his family of our plans to get married in october. almost everyone but my mother knows about our wedding now. i think the entire town of beaufort knows at this point. i don't plan on telling my mom because she would completely take over my wedding and i would be powerless to stop her. this way we can plan our wedding in peace. she's going to be pissed but oh fucking well. i don't care. she's going to korea the day after the wedding so she might not even be able to make it anyways. so yeah, lots of stuff goin on - i will fill in more details later....

rainbows

it's been pretty warm and dry in georgia lately - although not nearly as bad as it was this time last year. we are still in a drought but we seem to be getting rain more often. yesterday was a strange weather day. it was bright and sunny all day then around 6pm it got really dark and cloudy and it poured for about 10 minutes. the whole time johnny and i were stuck at another chamber of commerce shindig for my mom, but we got to witness the best part of it all. as we left the building, we noticed a vibrant rainbow right in front of us. then we realized holy crap - we can see the whole thing! it was truly a magnificent rainbow. then i saw another rainbow on top of the first one - like a double rainbow. we could see the whole thing so clearly, it was just beautiful. i wish i had a camera at that moment, but johnny and i watched the rainbow the whole way home because it seemed to follow us. we even saw it clearly from the highway. as we got closer to home, we noticed that the end of the rainbow seemed to be right over our neighborhood. in fact, the end of the rainbow seemed to be right over our house....

sometimes it's hard not to believe in god cause there are just some things quite unexplainable. i can't imagine what better sign from the heavens than a beautiful rainbow leading the way home. it made me happy to think we already have a pot of gold.

on the other hand, johnny pointed out, someone might have already followed that rainbow and is ransacking our house.....

my boss

i have to say i have a very interesting relationship with my boss. no, not that kind of relationship. he is a very dynamic person. very intense. he can be extremely annoying yet amazingly understanding. his mind races so he speaks like he's on some kind of timer, trying to say as much as he can within a limit. on top of that, he really gets lost in these tangents and you end up forgetting what he was originally talking about. he does, too. in any case, him and i have a startling amount in common. he is very environmentally conscious, politically liberal, religiously liberal, and completely open about all of it. he does not hide very much. i really admire that. he talks to me about science, religion, politics, the environment, relationships, real estate, business, and everything in between. i think he knows more about me than my mother does at this point.

anyhow, he has introduced me to a whole new kind of church. its called unitarian universalist. i had never heard of it before, but the more he explained it to me, the more it sounded exactly like the kind of church i would actually want to go to. and believe me, i am the last person you would see voluntarily walking into a church. uua is a very open-minded organization. they are more about spirituality than preaching the word of any particular god or religion. before, the closest religion i identified myself to was pantheistic, of which i did not know of any physical church or anyone else who considered themself to be panthiestic also.

well, at uua i can be pantheistic, buddhist, christian, muslim, whatever and also have the sense of community that other religions share. and that's mostly what i want, to be a part of a community. to have someplace to go if i need a spiritual pick-me-up. i want a place to take my children to that will teach them tolerance and respect for nature. the congregation has these covenants to affirm and promote: the inherent worth and dignity of every person, justice, equity and compassion in human relations, acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth, a free and responsible search for truth and meaning, the right of conscience and the use of the democratic process, just to name a few... these are tenets i totally agree with, and they do not require worshipping a god.

an added bonus is that their church looks more like a hippie commune than a church. it's very welcoming and comfortable. my only problem is that it is in mt. vernon which is further away from my house than i normally venture. plus, i'm too lazy to go anywhere sundays, even though the service is at 10:30. but its an investment worth making because what if one day i really need the spiritual support that only a minister can provide and i have nobody to turn to? i have to build a relationship, not just knock on a door when i need it.

so, i'm really considering joining. i might be a "friend" of the congregation first, but i think this is as close as i am gonna get to having a religion.