to perm or not to perm....

that is the question. my history of perms is not all that great. my first perm was the last semester of my senior year of high school and was disastrous. my mom thought it would be a good idea and took me to a korean hair salon – first mistake. the lady gave me a perm so tight and curly my hair went from about 30 inches long to about 6 inches. I was hysterical. my boyfriend at the time was speechless. he literally sat there and could not say a word. thankfully, the perm fell out a little bit and it actually looked decent for my graduation. unfortunately I had to deal with perm fallout for the next 10 years. it looked so bad coming out I swore never to get another perm again – but it’s a vicious cycle. once you start perming, it’s for life.
I have naturally curly hair. when it’s humid out, my hair actually forms ringlets on its own. but the ringlets get crowded out by the frizz. there are days that i have tina turner hair, and they are more often than not. NO AMOUNT OF FRIZZ EASE can tame this mane. I’ve had enough. I can’t take it anymore. I want manageable hair. I don’t want it to be frizzy anymore. here’s the problem, though: what type of perm should I get? I definitely do not want to go curly again. I liked the zig-zag wavy style that claire danes had in the movie igby goes down, but it’s hard to achieve that look in a perm and I see myself getting tired of it. plus, that’s kind of what I already have now. I don’t really want bone straight either cause I have a very big round head and flat hair will only make it look worse. plus, straight perms give you NO flexibility with hairstyles, either. it will always just be flat. so, I just ruled out straight perm and curly perms. what else is there???
I want my hair to be halfway between straight and wavy. maybe like really big loose sort of wavy hair. is it possible? I had a perm consultation last week and spoke to a lady about the french fry hair perm – like claire danes. she said she could do it. I had an appointment the following week but I chickened out. well, I also had the flu but I didn’t reschedule so now I have no hair appointment.
I guess I’m just scared. I don’t wanna mess up my already damaged hair any further. but I don’t wanna look like a crazy hag either. I guess you can’t really get any worse – wait yes you can. you could have a bad perm AND hair damage beyond repair. crap.