global warming? nah.......

ok, so it's the second week of january and it's like late spring outside. wtf? 3 weeks ago it was freezing cold. literally. last night there was a really strong thunderstorm, it woke me up several times and even got the dogs barking. i usually love thunderstorms like that but when you are living in a little shack surrounded by 100 ft. tall pines you get a little nervous....

oh and i still love microfiber.

and in case you haven't heard they found the hiker girl that went missing in the woods. she was beaten to death with a police baton and decapitated. i didn't know the details until this morning and now i want the asshole who did this to die a horrible death. please, just let us cut off a few of his limbs and leave him out to die by himself in the middle of nowhere. her boyfriend called up the radio station i listened to this morning and i was crying the entire way to work. i'm OK now but i cannot believe the DA bargained with this guy to not seek the death penalty if he showed them where her body is. wtf kind of stupid deal is that?? i hope some judge overturns it or something. i don't normally support the death penalty but cases like this make me question that belief. if someone heinously murders without provocation a completely innocent and defenseless person and causes them to SUFFER as they die - they should be put to death as well. i just don't understand how some people have the capacity to do such a thing to another human. so maliciously... if she was my sister, my daughter, my niece, whatever - i would want him to die. i just could not have any mercy in that instance. no legal method of death could be equal enough.

hearing about tragedies like this on the news makes me wonder what good is really left out there? my boss and i had a long lunch the other day and he said that there was some kind of study that said people generally lean towards good. i would love to believe that. i think people do, but have been gradually de-sensitized through the media over the past generation. i myself am admittedly de-sensitized in a way. i mean, when you see someone who needs your help should you not immediately help them? but then you sort of automatically ignore them and continue on your way. i find that when i do this i feel regret afterwards, but the response is so automatic i hardly notice that i am doing it.

case in point, my mother and i were driving on the freeway through atlanta several years ago when we witnessed right in front of us a car accident. a maroon-colored sedan holding way more people than it should skidded across several lanes and crashed into the median. we stopped the car and for what seemed like a long time just sat there watching. it didn't even occur to me to get out (on the freeway) and help them until my mother sprang into action. she got out of the car and ran up to the other car and i followed. an old woman was sitting in the back with like 6 kids, and they were all shell-shocked. everyone was not moving, so i helped get the kids out of the crunched car and my mom grabbed another kid from the other side as the couple in the front staggered out. i didn't think the whole time, i just sort of went on autopilot. we helped them to the side of the road as police and ambulance arrived. then mom and i just hopped back into our car and drove off. it was kind of a bizarre and surreal moment in time.

i think i was more amazed at my mom than anything else. she rarely showed compassion in front of me like that and i didn't know what to make of it. but then i felt disgusted with myself. why did i hesitate? the car could have blown up, and everyone die and it would have been my fault for not saving them. was i OK with that? did i feel like it was not my business or something? i wasn't paralyzed by fear i was paralyzed because i simply didn't know what to do. i was thinking about it too much. i felt powerless or something. well, that was then and this is now. if i were to experience the same situation i wouldn't hesitate. i hope that if it happened to me someone else wouldn't hesitate either.