warning: graphic content.

the past few days have been a little emotionally charged for me. it could be my hormones or a chemical imbalance in my brain, but i feel like things haven't been handled quite properly. my mom is just about the only person on this earth who can piss me off more than even i could imagine. i swear i deserve a freaking medal for putting up with her all the time. my sister SO OWES me for this shit cause when it comes time to take care of mom, i plan on being busy raising my own kids. whew- i feel better now. ok, so what could a cute little asian fireball of a woman do to piss me off so bad? well, for starters she likes to kill my chickens. and if you fuck with my chickens, you are fucking with me. (sorry for the profanity, i missed my regularly scheduled therapy appointment and feeling a little bottled up...lol).

anyways, it's not just that she killed my chickens, it's that she ENJOYS it. she relishes the thought of breaking necks and slitting throats. she likes to kill chickens because they are food. and food doesn't deserve dignity. (i swear i'm not crazy). so, i let her kill the first chicken a while ago. i knew that these chickens were fated for the butcher block when i got them, but STILL. Johnny and i did not partake of the first chicken. the second chicken she killed earlier this week, once again with my permission, and this time somewhat more humanely. i watched the whole process of de-feathering and gutting a chicken and assisted with a hose and pail. it was not the easiest thing to watch but i had to. i need to know how to do all that cause hello! i raised these chickens for meat (and eggs). the dogs were entranced with the whole show and i just tried to keep from tossing my cookies. we made a fabulous curry chicken stew over brown rice but i had a very hard time eating it. i only took a small piece of chicken and had to think of other things in order to chew and swallow the meat.

i was glad when that whole thing was over. i ate one of my chickens and i have mixed feelings about it. i know it's normal - we eat chickens. i like chicken, for the most part. we gave them a good life and they died for a purpose. i still felt a bit of guilt and decided to thank the universe for the chicken's sacrifice to us. (still not crazy). so, how did this all piss me off? well, i guess my mother took this and the notice from the code enforcement that it was time to become ruthless chicken handlers and, along with johnny as co-conspirator, tormented my remaining chickens by shoving them roughly and without regard into the small cage for transport. they were squacking and screaming, feathers flying everywhere, the dogs hysterical, and nobody was listening to me. nobody heard me, or otherwise ignored my requests, to be nice to my chickens. i didn't want to traumatize them during this stressful time. I wanted to be able to peacefully put them in the cage and load them in the car and take them over to my mom's. instead, my mom went into a determined terminator-like mode to grab and fling fowl around. johnny, of all people, actually grabbed a rooster by his neck to try and shove him into the cage. my only demand was that they put the cage into the coop and try to coax the chickens inside, using feed as incentive. but NO - don't listen to the crazy, emotional, know-nothing-about-chickens, silly girl. surely i had nothing of value to add to the whole operation. then it became hostile and i lost my cool.

they weren't listening to me, the chickens were frightened out of their minds, and not a single damn chicken was in the cage. finally, my mom took the cage and went inside the coop to grab the chickens and stuff them in. which is excactly what i wanted to do in the first place - put the cage inside the coop and let the chickens go into the cage on their own. WHY wouldn't that work? now, she was essentially doing the same thing - only with a more mean and hostile twist to it. i was very mad and frustrated and broken hearted. not only for my chickens but for that fact that they didn't give a shit that it meant a lot to me to be gentle with my little flock.

i'm sure people may think i'm totally crazy and stupid. chickens are food, why be gentle? why care about their well-being when they are going to be eaten? to me, it just seems to be the right thing to do to treat a chicken with care and respect. you are going to take it's life to sustain your own, it deserves to live and die with a little dignity, don't ya think?

if you want to hear johnny's side of the story, you'll have to hope that he comments to this post.