the time has come...

this blog has been in existence for only a very short time - since september to be exact. i've had a blog before - back when i was slightly psychotic and taking effexor. that is a very dark, dark blog and i never want to read it again. but this blog has gone very well despite the downs i've been through lately. so i've decided to go all the way with it. i honestly didn't think i would stick with the blog - i have issues with following through on things. but i like it. and it had a purpose even though i never mentioned what the purpose really is. so i guess i'll reveal the purpose of this blog - it's super corny but i have never been able to keep a diary i like before. with pictures, rants and raves, etc. i actually put some raw emotion into it for the world to see (not that they are but still) but mostly all of this is for my kids. not necessarily for them to read in the future - but for me to read in the future if i ever forget who i was way back before i had children. it may remind me to be a better person, or it may remind me that i am a better person already. i don't really know but i think honesty is the key to the success of this blog. if i ever find myself pushing my son into becoming a doctor or lawyer i can read this blog and remember how miserable i was going through architecture school just to make my mom happy. anyways, that's just one example. it can't hurt to be able to look back. i also think that the timing of my blog is a bit divine - any sooner and this would be another dark dark blog full of the misery that was being crippled and stuck in an engagement with a total moron. but since johnny and i got back together, all seems right again. so this blog is blessed, in my opinion. and i shall treat it so - despite my lack of web design savvyness, i am going to attempt a design for my layout instead of using a generic template. this is going to take considerable time and effort and i don't spend that on things i don't care about. so, to the few of you out there who actually do read, please excuse the mess that is going to be happening during the construction. i'll still post but you may notice weird stuff floating around.....