something i've never really been able to have before but always wanted - bangs. now, with my straight perm i can have bangs! so here they are - i cut them myself day before yesterday. johnny almost had a heart attack but they came out decent...
Brain Lateralization Test Results |
| Right Brain (50%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (34%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain |
| BLUE |
You give your love and friendship unconditionally. You enjoy long, thoughtful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive.
Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.
http://www.freerice.com/index.php
or is it ok?
and another thing...i'm feelin a bit randy today.... by randy i mean random....hahahaha....
"heat her"! haha.... i crack myself up.
in all its glory.....
i heart my xmas tree so very much. i am going to enjoy everyday of it's sparkly splendor until christmas. this picture really does not do it justice. and i think my camera kinda sucks. but i love my little xmas tree....
rain, glorious rain.... we had rain today which was like a blessing. the dogs stayed in the house all day and did very well until after lunch when louie chewed up my new knitting book. i was very pissed. i really wanted to spank him but then i had to remind myself that he's just a puppy. and its just a book. he's just bored and it's just paper. breathe.
i organized my office a bit to let off some steam. i really need to go through my mail and for the love of god check my account balance. i haven't done either one in weeks. seriously.
my mom's bday is coming up and i want to get her a digital photo frame loaded with a bunch of her photos. the problem is a good one costs about $100. then i thought about making her an apron but the frame is a much much better idea. i can make her an apron for xmas present.
i love my mom. she is crazy but now its almost a good kinda crazy. korean moms re-define the notion of crazy in a way that's indescribable. my mother goes above and beyond any conventional definition - ask anyone who knows her. i told stories of her to my best friend kim for years and she didn't believe me until one bad day from hell when my mom was swerving all over spaghetti junction screaming about being taken advantage of and throwing mail out the window with kim praying to god in the backseat. now she believes me.
yay! it's almost christmas! i freakin love this time of year - especially when it snows. i used to love christmas so much as a kid, but after a while it became kind of a burden. i've been thinking lately about the whole concpet of xmas and after some research have decided not to teach my children that santa claus brings them toys and of course baby jesus was not born on that day. what a confusing holiday, huh? so many traditions from different cultures just got meshed together and now all people know is they need to start shopping in october. since i am not christian, it seemed a bit hypocritical to celebrate xmas, so i decided to learn about the history of the holiday and see if i can find the real meaning somewhere hidden and disguised by the church. well, there's a lot. and it's way too confusing to go into here so i decided to make up my own christmas. to me, it's a day to celebrate winter, to celebrate the warmth and bounty of the hearth and family and friends. it's a day where you can show your appreciation with a thoughtful gift. it's a season where you can decorate the house to look alive and pretty despite the dead branches and cold wind outside. i think santa claus is a fun story character but i am not going to have my kids seriously believing that a fat man in a red suit is going to jump down our chimney. i'm sure they will wonder what's up with all the mangers and babies and mules so i'll explain the christian version of the holiday too. it's hard to resist the shopping binge especially with all the sales but i don't want my kids thinking that it's all about presents. it's about making other people happy.
so today johnny and i went up to dry pond and let the dogs run around and play. we were going to try to find a tree to cut down but luckily we saw a small sign for xmas tree farm right up the street. for $18 we spotted ourselves a nice little cedar tree which we cut down and strapped to the roof of my car. we like this tree. it's so cute in its own little way. i felt bad for having to cut it down, though. we have a whole month to decorate it and i think it will be chock full of good times for us.
i love lazy mornings in bed with the dogs....
moto is sleeping in...he likes that heating pad way too much
one thing i didn't expect to happen from my adventures on MARTA was a new perspective on life. Yes, i know. it sounds corny. but i actually mentioned it to my mom the other day and she totally agreed. apparently, not to be outdone (never!) by me, my mother has been taking MARTA as well. she picked me up from work last week and we talked about atlanta's beltway project and how the city will be changing over the next few years - and how walking around the city and taking a train makes Atlanta a completely different place. first and foremost, walking forces you to see more. you'r not just zipping by that building, you can slowly stroll past and actually register the details that someone meant to be there. believe it or not, a lot of the built environment is intentional - and it's kind of fun for me to figure out why someone put that there, or made it that way...like that parking garage with the overhanging vehicles. the next most noticeable thing are the sounds, smells, and quality of air - which actually sucks for me. i hate breathing in the pollution but it comes with the territory. i guess overall it has been a multi-sensory experience for me - kind of like time has slowed down and i am observing in slow motion. it reminds me of seoul so much, its almost overwhelming. i don't know if its a good or bad thing, but at the very least it makes me feel like a part of the city as opposed to an occupant of the city. i also notice the amount of homeless people in atlanta. i haven't been bothered by any of them because they are usually sleeping in a cocoon of blankets when i walk past. i have been thinking about handing out some biscuits and coffee but i don't want to get trampled and i can't afford to feed all of them. not all the time, anyways - i would feel horrible if i was handing out food and someone didn't get any. i don't know what to do. i still feel gulty about the homeless guy we saw by gwinnett mall who was begging on the street with no shoes. it broke my heart but at the same time froze me from action. why do i fear homeless people like that? i want to just take them home and wash and feed them but i don't want to insult their dignity, either...i sometimes find it really hard to believe that my mother and i were nearly that desperate long ago..
wow. i had no idea the world of blogging was so big and complicated. my brain feels scrambled as i spent hours googling templetes and xml and wtf is a widget? i found a couple i like, but i really want to create my own and now the harsh reality that i am just not that good is beginning to set in. i get pretty far and just when i think i'm done i'll get an error message or a message saying i have to delete all my widgets forever. i still don't really know what that means but it doesn't sound good. i am also thinking about moving my photos over to flickr. i don't like photobucket much - never have. so basically its a web overhaul for me. and i've been left behind technologically. maybe i should just give up and have a plain blog and not complain. but i want it to be pretty and i have to learn this stuff. man...why do i start a bunch of projects at once???
this blog has been in existence for only a very short time - since september to be exact. i've had a blog before - back when i was slightly psychotic and taking effexor. that is a very dark, dark blog and i never want to read it again. but this blog has gone very well despite the downs i've been through lately. so i've decided to go all the way with it. i honestly didn't think i would stick with the blog - i have issues with following through on things. but i like it. and it had a purpose even though i never mentioned what the purpose really is. so i guess i'll reveal the purpose of this blog - it's super corny but i have never been able to keep a diary i like before. with pictures, rants and raves, etc. i actually put some raw emotion into it for the world to see (not that they are but still) but mostly all of this is for my kids. not necessarily for them to read in the future - but for me to read in the future if i ever forget who i was way back before i had children. it may remind me to be a better person, or it may remind me that i am a better person already. i don't really know but i think honesty is the key to the success of this blog. if i ever find myself pushing my son into becoming a doctor or lawyer i can read this blog and remember how miserable i was going through architecture school just to make my mom happy. anyways, that's just one example. it can't hurt to be able to look back. i also think that the timing of my blog is a bit divine - any sooner and this would be another dark dark blog full of the misery that was being crippled and stuck in an engagement with a total moron. but since johnny and i got back together, all seems right again. so this blog is blessed, in my opinion. and i shall treat it so - despite my lack of web design savvyness, i am going to attempt a design for my layout instead of using a generic template. this is going to take considerable time and effort and i don't spend that on things i don't care about. so, to the few of you out there who actually do read, please excuse the mess that is going to be happening during the construction. i'll still post but you may notice weird stuff floating around.....
yes, that's right. it took me almost 2 hours to get to work this morning. granted, my timing wasn't spot on but still - i spent a ridiculous amount of time just waiting in the cold. the ride wasn't bad, actually. i tried to read on the train but found myself getting carsick. i found the bus stop pretty easily but once there, got a little anxious about which bus to get on. i think about 5 buses stopped in front of me, none of which was my bus. i asked every single driver, too. of course the bus i had to get on (it finally arrived after about 40 mins.) was packed to the gills and driven by an obviously disgruntled employee. i think she works at the doraville post office, too. what a beotch. anyways, i stood on the bus, trying not to fall over and trying not to have an asthma attack from all the b.o. i got off the bus two stops early partly because i couldn't take it anymore and partly because i was afraid she would fly right past my office and i would have to walk back a long distance. i left the house this morning at about 7:20 am and strolled into my office about 9:10 am. i actually called one of my co-workers to come pick me up at the bus stop because i thought the bus was never going to arrive. but just as i called him the bus showed up so i told him i would finish my commute with MARTA. whilst waiting for the #1 Coronet Way bus, I noticed that I was standing underneath a particularly interesting parking garage and actually though to photograph it. can you see anything interesting about this parking garage?
if you can't, i'll tell you. the cars are parked OVER the edge of the slab. I have never ever in my life seen this. it seems a wee bit dangerous - as i can't imagine that railing with mesh is strong enough to hold up an SUV that's gone a little too far. i don't think there are wheel stops, but that would be the only way this makes sense, so there's got to be stops somewhere. code requires a minimum of a 24' drive aisle two ways (12' one way) and i suspect that they ran out of width for the drive aisle, which prompted this insane solution. although, i can't imagine anyone at the city of atlanta permit office (as inept as they may be) permitting this. the minimum length for a parking spot is 16' - for compacts. that is an SUV teetering on the edge! unbelievable. i wonder who came up with it....
in more important news, i am going to have a completed project by the end of this week. the beautiful fabric i bought from Joann's was EXACTLY the right amount of fabric i need to make a pillowcase for our extra long body pillow (which has no case). It's shimmery double-sided sari made of silk and eet eez magnificent!!
and the poor, neglected sewing machine that i shall make this pillowcase with:
but i have decided to treat this sad little sewing machine like a treasure. i downloaded the manual and i am going to get some machine oil and johnny is going to clean it for me. this machine will return to its former glory soon. i did find out that it's a model 201 which was made in 1947 in elizabethtown, NJ. 15,000 machines were made in this model. it's supposed to be one of the best singer models. i also have a dressmaker but i haven't got a clue how to operate it. i am going to tackle that next.
i am still debating on whether ir not to take MARTA tomorrow. I have a pottery class after work and it makes no sense to take MARTA but i don't know if i feel like going to pottery class....
i forgot to add to my last post that this week i shall attempt to get to work using public transportation - MARTA. for those of you who don't know, MARTA is quite possibly the world's worst public transportation system ever. without going into extreme detail let's just say it's inefficient. my new job is located in midtown - right by georgia tech. my house is located right by spaghetti junction. by car, my morning commute (if i leave before 8 am) is less than 30 minutes. i used MARTA's website to "calculate" my commute - and it turns out that I will have to take one train, two busses and walk almost a mile to get to work. oh, and it will take an hour if I leave my house by 7:30. all that for a $1.75 one way. so either i can leave my house at 8 am, listen to the bert show and drive my big ole honkin minivan that gets about 25mpg and arrive at work by 8:30 am OR I can leave my house at 7:20; hop a train, two buses, walk a mile and pay $1.75 and get to work at 8:30-ish. i want a freakin badge for choosing the latter. my hopes are to lose some weight and have a happier conscious by taking MARTA (it's smarta!) but I have a feeling I am going to end up cold, tired, pissed off and stranded. Here's a little history of me and MARTA:
A few years ago, when I gave up all that I knew and decided to live near ansley mall amongst the gay, tattooed & pierced artists I was happily self-sufficient. Yes, I made $9/hr working at the dentist office behind my apartment complex, and yes, I could only afford to get one foot-long sandwich from publix for lunch and dinner per day. I attempted to take MARTA for the first time to go visit a friend who was only a few miles away. I should have walked but I figured I should learn to use PT. so, I packed my satchel and wore an old tshit and my army-inspired wrap skirt and headed off to the front of the complex where the bus stop was. I stopped at the mailbox along the way to pick up my mail and saw that the guy who lived in my apt. before me had gotten some cataologs or magazines or something all wrapped up in white plastic.
i stood at the bus stop in the sweltering heat for what seemed like an hour before my curiosity got the best of me and I opened the mysteriously wrapped magazines. of course they turned out to be the most filthiest porn my innocent eyes had ever seen. i quickly stuffed them back into my satchel just in time for a freak rainstorm that only lasted about 10 minutes but completely and totally drenched me. at this point, i am standing in a mud puddle and seriously thinking about going back to my apt when i finally see the damn MARTA bus coming up the street. I quickly got my money and waited for the bus to stop. then i noticed that my tshirt was completely translucent and my bra was showing to the whole world. i got on the bus, arms crossed and put my soggy money into the collection box and walked to the middle of the bus. there were some strange lookin people on the bus but i figured that was probably normal. i sat down and almost relaxed before i thought, how do I get off at the right place? will he just stop there, or did I have to tell him where to stop? In korea there was a button you push when you wanted to get off so I looked everywhere for a button. I found a rope contraption so I hoped that would do the trick. A very short ride later, I see my stop coming up so I yanked on the rope and got up - first mistake. I guess you don't really stand on a moving bus in the states. i was used to korean buses where you can do cartwheels down the middle if you wanted to. I almost busted my ass when he stopped the bus.
then I went up to the middle door and stood there, waiting for the driver to open the door. I looked at him, he looked back at me in the rearview mirror and somebody said "push the door!" feeling totally embarrassed and like a dumbass, i pushed the door open and it gave away, causing me to fly headfirst out of the door and land on my hands and knees in the mud. my pornos went flying everywhere and i flashed everyone on the bus my underwear. the embarrassment was complete and total. i went to my friends house not wanting to talk about it. i swore i would never take public transit ever again. then gas went up to $3.00/gal. and here i am about to take MARTA again. But this time I will not make an ass out of myself. i hope.
it's amazing how easy it is to take simple things for granted in this day and age of convenience. you get so wrapped up in the silly things like cellphones, tv shows, he-said, she-said, baby mama drama, etc. All the while, the planet is still turning and there is an entire world that you are only a teeny weeny piece of going through an amazing transformation. Life on this planet, no matter how much we think we are in control, is still precious. It takes only a flick of mother nature's wrist to induce a devastating catastrophe. Maybe as kids you just don't think about it much and you take it for granted that way. I was pretty eco-conscious as a kid. I thought everybody was, honestly. Conserving was kind of a given - especially in the korean culture. I'm used to rationing water and reducing waste. I started living my own life and got trapped in the american lifestyle of abundance and waste and this drought has turned a glaring spotlight onto my evil ways. Like many people, I took water for granted. I have never "felt" the effects of a drought, whereas our ancestors relied upon it life or death. Thankfully, I don't waste extreme amounts of water like say, a wealthy family with a 3 acre front lawn. But I could have conserved more I suppose. I'm not so worried about our water consumption as much as our waste production. The recycling program at our house is still working out very well. The next thing I worry about is our electricity consumption, which is out of this world. I really want some solar panels (I need to cut down some of these trees, first, though!). However, this past weekend the drought took center stage when we went up to my mom's driving range and saw this:
like i said, it's f*ing cold here in atl. tonight it's supposed to go below freezing, which is a big deal here in this state. i am already suffering the beginnings of a cold. mild headache, runny nose, sneezing, tiredness, and sinus pressure. at least its not the flu. i hate the flu. unfortunately, the echinacea goldenseal i ordered online was just shipped today so by the time i get my herbs i'll probably be over the worst part. i am going to raid johnny's dresser tonight for some echinacea.
i finally took the mazda into a mechanic. i would be really assed out if it blew up on me like the camry. it wasn't so bad, he flushed and cleaned and told me to bring it back if i notice anything. i really liked this mechanic. finally, a mechanic i can trust. i paid a little more, but he did what he said he would.
i had to start taking iron pills this past weekend. i was so drained i could barely do anything and i know i am already aenemic so i bought a bottle of dried ferros sulfate. yummy. now my poop is green.
last night i posted an ad on craigslist. to my complete surprise, i got responses. here's the ad. i hope it works out. if it does, i see myself really succeeding at organizing such a thing. i have been practicing knitting everyday and i just completely suck at it. jane showed me some awesome tricks sunday night. that woman can knit with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back. she actually wears what she knits and it looks good! i swear by the end of this year, i will complete a knitting project, even if it's a washcloth. and it probably will be.
since yesterday i have eaten an entire sleeve of chips ahoy cookies. i just had to get that off my chest.
well, halloween was almost a complete bust. without going on a tirade, johnny basically neglected to pay the electric bill which ended up getting our power shut off on tuesday. thankfully, it wasn't as cold tuesday night as it was monday night so we didn't suffer too much. unfortunately, i had invited a bunch of friends over halloween night to watch a movie. which i had to cancel. i was about to be pretty pissed but i kept reminding myself that mistakes happen and it's just halloween - nothing special... anyways, the power was restored in the nick of time and we had our scary movie night. johnny put on his scary demon mask and wore a black robe. we didn't buy the wig and the hood was missing from the robe so we tried to improvise. i got an old black lace poncho and put it over johnny, which just made him look like granny-demon. so then i pulled the front half of the poncho over his forehead and draped it over which then made him look like the bride of satan. i was laughing hysterically. both of us put on crappy makeup which burned our eyes and skin. I ended up looking like a mime in a witch hat cause i didn't have the patience for all the heavy makeup. i had originally wanted to be a homo-suicidal clown witch. in any case, we did get to scare a few little kids which made me happy. i don't know why kids screaming in fright amuses me....
my friends came over and we all watched the movie 1408 which was just scary enough for me. good choice, i think. we ate a bunch of cheeses, quiches, spankopitas, and really bad hummus. why is store-bought hummus so bad? i only had one that tasted any good and i can't find it anywhere. anyways, johnny is now dealing with ga power and his bank cause they over-charged him and it's turning into a nightmare. i don't think he'll make this mistake again. i hate utility companies. i get harrassed by verizon every month, they just suck money right out of me. i am going to have to do something about that.
so blah blah blah..everyone wants to know about the new job. well, it's still new so i can't really say with 100% certainty that i love or hate it. so far, i really like it. it's like working for your uncle or something. it's like having an alternate family and i rather like it. however, they have a LOT of catching up to do with technology. i think i can help with that, if they are willing to let me. i do not like the traffic on the way home, though. especially when tech has a game. it sucks.
and last but most definitely not least...i have found the motherload. THE mother of all crazy delusional sociopathic weirdos.... if this guy doesn't end up killing someone i will be surprised. people, i proudly present to you....PETER PAN!
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