new relationships

I think that the overall tone of this blog is going to lighten up significantly as the year ends. I know a lot of bad things have happened (and even though I blab about a lot of it here, you don't even know the half of it), but things are still looking up and from experience I know that once you've hit the bottom the only way left is up.

So I'd like to take a much needed moment to reflect on some of the good things that have happened recently. First off, my mom is talking to me again, and I am talking to her. I did not speak with her from the day I told her I was getting married to the day of my uncle's funeral and the moment I saw her sitting by herself and crying at the funeral home, all I could do was hug her and tell her I love her. I think she needed me more than anything. I felt bad about our rift but we didn't even have to mention it, it was like it never happened.

I also re-united with my long lost cousin Suejin. Her and I were estranged because our mothers had a huge fight when we were kids and never spoke to each other again (the silent treatment is a hereditary skill). Suejin and I went out to have coffee and started to re-kindle our relationship. Before our moms fought, we were inseperable. In fact, we even used to dress alike and hold hands all the time. We fought each other like cats and dogs but also knew each other like the back of our hands. She was the closest thing to a sister I had as a kid. We felt like we had been robbed of our relationship so we decided to be close again no matter what our mothers say.

This last one is a little bottersweet because I managed to learn some news things about my family and in the process lost my other cousin Kris. He didn't die, but he turned his back on me and my mom. Normally, this would have hurt me and angered me but there's nothing I can really do to fix it so I'm letting it go. In exchange for that, I understand my mother on a whole new level.

I also made some important self-discoveries that I think came to me by the balancing of karma. I am beginning to believe a little more in the concept of a destiny, and the idea that you are born with one. I think it's an inherent talent and disposition towards something that had to have been manifested by a previous soul and reborn as a new person's destiny. I know it sounds completely nuts but I promise I'm not becoming a fanatic mysticist. It makes perfect sense to me, only because I don't believe in coincidences. I think it's truly a blessing to recieve your destiny because you will feel everything you lacked like confidence when insecure and happiness when sad. It's like finally having peace of mind. Like finding something you cherished but lost long ago. Maybe it's just me hitting a very late puberty. I feel enlightened.

I am also feeling financially enlightened as I am now managing her hotel project and will be compensated. And, Johnny has finally gotten an economic break. I can't wait until the election, as I truly think things are going to get much better.