trying not to drown

in self-pity and pessimism. it seems like we are just simply screwed. everyone is having a tough time, everything is lousy. there is just a few precious drops of hope that evaporate as each day passes. could it be that we have to hit rock bottom before we get a break? in any case, things need to brighten up soon - i hate this feeling of failure. i am still happy and grateful for the people around me but right now gas being $4.89 is making it really tough to do anything. it's making me mad, too. did you know some gas stations will charge you an extra .07 cents a gallon for using your card at the pump? is that freakin' evil or what???

johnny's dad gets better one day then gets worse the next. it's bewildering.

do you know what it's like to live in a place where the daytime heat index reaches 95 degrees with relative humidity of 59%?!? At night the heat goes down to 78 or so with the same amount of humidity. it's the closest thing to hell on earth - especially if you have big boobies. i want a big de-humidifier for our apartment.

there's an empty house right next door to johnny's parents that i have actually fallen in love with. i keep going over there to snoop around and i just LOVE the backyard - it's like a secret garden. i have to take pictures and upload them for you to see...