can i get a valium, please?

yea, this past weekend was truly insane. but we survived and we have memories to keep. the baby shower i was hosting couldn't have gone more wrong. first of all the space that we had rented was FULL by the time i got there at 10 am to set up. turns out a tennis league was having a tournament and BBQ. yea, i almost lost it at that point, but i thought, OK let's make it work. So, i began setting everything up and just as I was getting ahead, a thunderstorm started to roll through the neighborhood. Johnny and i were trying to do a bunch of last minute things like getting food, setting up the badminton net, putting up decorations, etc etc while waiting for others to come help us and waiting for balloons and then the mother-to-be shows up with her extended family just as it begins to rain. i had to run out and pick up some food specifically requested by the pregnant woman and while i was gone they decided that this outdoor party was going to become an indoor party - at my house. so, while i was out and in the pouring rain, my pregnant friend and her grandparents and in-laws MOVED the entire party to my house a few blocks away. I raced home and began to set up the food (all the while impressed at how they managed to move everything AND decorate my living room) and giving directions to all of the lost guests who went to the park who evidently didn't read their invitations which said "if it rains, we'll be at heather's house at .....address". then we began to run out of space - no tables or chairs - everything was wet, and nobody knew each other. we had no indoor games planned and one guest who was deathly afraid of balloons (which was the only thing we had to entertain with). yeah. and i didn't get to shoot a single picture.

i felt like i had completely failed as a host. but damn, the food was good and there was plenty of it and that's all people care about, right? yea, it wasn't so bad in the end because we all got together and were able to dote on the parents-to-be a little bit... afterwards, johnny did much of the cleaning and we went to bed completely beat.

unfortunately, i got one of my monster midnight migraines and didn't get any sleep. the very next morning, bright and early, my mother began stalking our house. i could tell because the dogs were whining and i knew she was anxious to get started with the errands of the day. i had to drag myself out of bed with as much will power as i could and face my mom with a smile on my face. you have no idea what this takes.

then we drove out to duluth to pick up a ginormous screen for the powerpoint presentation during her speech. it barely fit in the mazda and we took it to the restaurant. then we went to dim sum, which was actually nice. then we went home, i re-wrote my mom's speech on flash cards, downloaded pics from her camera, and demanded a nap before my head and chest exploded. I got almost 2 hours of rest and then it was up and at 'em until 9 pm. we went to the restaurant with cameras and flags and once we got there my mom tells me the address on the invitation was wrong. so i had to go find out where everyone was going instead and see if i could direct them to the right place. what a fucking nightmare. my mom started looking disappointed and so i started calling all the american people on her guest list to give them directions. then they started with all the speeches and introductions from chief of staffs to secretaries to president of this firm and that firm... all the while we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of the mayor. who was late. finally she arrived and people began to eat and things started to be OK. then we had to wait until everyone left and take the stupid screen back to my mazda, along with giant bouquets of flowers, and go home. i still had to shower and get ready for work the next day. thank god i was able to get some sleep with no headache, even though bibi instisted on sleeping on top of me all night.

throughout all of this, i had an expanding pressure in my chest that was making it very difficult to do anything. i was so mad at myself for having this stupid problem. i did not have time for chest pains at all. i don't know whats wrong, i dont want to take prevacid and risk a freaking heart attack. what a bunch of bullshit. today its not so bad but i have to take it easy. my body has completely refused to let me deal with stress at all.

...

a hectic month

on top of organizing a baby shower, writing an inauguration speech, creating invitations, leaving town for 4 days, hanging out with friends from out of town (yay, Kim is finally coming to visit!!), planting a garden, fixing the roof, getting bibi's surgery, and going to work full time, i still have to do my taxes. so does johnny. then immediately after that we are having a huge garage sale where i will get rid of a ton of stuff. and somewhere in between there i have to design a sanctuary and a stage. there just isn't enought ime for all that's going on at once. oh yea, and my niece's birthday is next weekend. can i get a clone please? how do women do all this with children, to boot?

it's f'n cold...part duex

i know i already have a blog post titled it's f'n cold but damn, i thought winter was over. when we got into the atl area we didn't stop until my stepbrother absolutely had to pee, at a gas stop about an hour from my house. as soon as we opened the car door, a cold gust of wind burst into the car. then we find out that there's actually a freeze advisory for the evening. i'm pretty much giving up on the hopes of starting a garden from seed this year. i still tried to save my seedlings by literally covering them in a blanket and then some pinestraw. i put the plastic from our new pillows over the blackberry bushes. i just have to cross my fingers and hope they survive.

but anyways, wtf is up with this weather?? i mean, i didn't expect it to be like florida but i was at least hoping to see everything in full bloom by the time we got back. oh well, i can look at the brightside and think of it as extending my winter clothes wearing. i have like little to no summer clothes.

johnny and i managed to do minimal damage to our wallets for our vacation. not bad. i didn't do very much shopping, mostly because i don't really care to buy junk like snowglobes and keychains - especially from florida - and all the other stuff i can make myself. i did however, buy some really pretty seashells that i could neither make nor find myself. they happen to be from the phillipines. anyways, they will go on my back porch which is going to have a beach theme. I am getting a rope hammock chair to hang, too - the perfect chill spot. i can't wait.

we have a new roommate - the younger sister of one of our friends. she was nice enough to watch the dogs while we were gone and she is staying a while longer while her brother and his wife have their first baby! i shall refer to her as 'B' henceforth. oh, i almost forgot to mention that we met my stepbrother's mom, Karen, who lives in mexico beach. this woman is amazing. she has a small house, and a tiny office but she has organized it to the nth degree - it was awesome. she likes to do crafts!! she does mainly graphics-related crafts like stenciling, embossing, scrapbooking, cardmaking, stamping, quilling, etc. anyways, she showed me all of her stuff and it was great. plus, she gave me one of the christmas ornaments she made - a little birdhouse which was really cute. and, she gave me a very nice seafood cookbook filled with local favorite recipes. i can't wait to try some of them. she has also survived breast cancer, which it was amazing to hear about how she went through it all. i truly admire this woman.

so johnny and i have some mild sunburns. well, mine are mild - johnny's looks pretty angry. he burnt his shins and i burnt the back of my knees and the top portion of my back. but i think we both got some tan so we are happy. the seashells we brought back smell like fish-ass, though.

today it's back to the grindstone. i have to return my rental and start working on the baby bbq. i already miss mexico beach. we will be going back.

mexico beach/port st. joe/panama city/apalachicola

yea, we went to all those places in one weekend and still had a relaxing time. we spent most of it on the beach a 1/4 mile from our motel, the luxurious dixie belle (don't worry, you'll see pictures of it). luckily, our room has wireless internet so i can post to my blog like a good little geek. i just thought i would give a little sample of what we have done so far....


we spent a great deal of time on the beach - white powdery sand with clear cool water. very salty. the wind was nice, the weather very mild. fresh ocean air. we did a lot of eating - from raw oysters to messy barbeque to really expensive but exquisite seafood. we drove from panama city to apalachicola. we shopped at small and large gift boutiques and went to a Ripley's believe it or not museum. we went kayaking and grocery shopping. we missed our dogs. we got sunburns.

help me baby jesus

i have a migraine headache so bad it hurts to breathe and i have to do building code research. my vacation is so close i can almost smell salty air, and i am just about to say fukitol and leave. except i took marta to work today and i can't pickup my rental at the airport until after 5. wah. this afternoon is going to crawl by....

let's share...

since i have a free moment of uninterrupted time, i thought i would do something i haven't done in a long while...

off of lifehacker, this website booklamp sounds like a pandora, but for books - which is cool. just like finding new music, i have a hard time finding new authors and this site (although still beta) looks promising. if you don't know what pandora is, you should go check it out.

there's also this website: 43 things which i have heard about before and bookmarked it but didn't actually use it until today. you may notice i have a new widget called 43 things and this is where it comes from. my username is omseagrass (seagrass was taken, WHO is doing that?!?) - come see what its all aboot (i'm going to say this word the canadian way all week, thanks to you, fer).

oh, and notice the new banner.... i wanted to see what it would look like with my actual house on there instead that crazy peach house.... tell me what you think.... be honest!

uh huh, that's what i'm talkin 'boot

this is the look we get from bibi when she wants to play kickball.

my beautiful new gift from my dear friends for helping out with their party...

countdown to meltdown...

it's only a matter of time before poop hits the fan. i'm not talking about me. i'm talking about our economy. i really think we are in for a serious recession, the likes of which my generation has never seen, much less suffered.

i'm hearing on npr that the fed is stretching itself thin and lowering the interest rates is not going to help fix the economy. i'm worried because as it is, johnny and i are trudging by with what we make. yes, we could be more frugal - mainly I could be more frugal - but i'm not all that extravagant to begin with so inflation will hit us pretty hard. geez, the price of gas is already hurting. i hate that i have to even buy gas, stupid MARTA. times are going to get tough here soon and my concern is, what are we going to do?

the scary thing is, as civilization "advances" the common person is less and less equipped to take care of themselves in the case of an emergency like this. the government has become our crutch and it seems like without it all will fall apart. the most basic of needs like food and water - who can afford to pay $3 for a tomato, or find potable water if the water plants fail? we have basically set ourselves up to wither away and die without the support of a strong economy. it just seems very senseless to me. but before i get too hypocritical, i admit that i am just as plugged in as the next person. i'm trying to find a way to become more self-sufficient but it seems just like everything else, self-suffiency has a price tag. i am so glad i didn't buy that damn furniture, that would be one more thing to worry about in a world where there are more important things going on. i was gripped in a consumerist frenzy for a brief moment and now that i snapped out of it, i feel better.

so, let's think about our near future worst case scenario. gas is $5 a gallon. our grocery bill raises by 20%, and we still make the same amount of money at work (if we don't get laid off, god forbid) what do we do? i guess hunker down and wait it out. save as much money as possible and eat from our garden. what happens to our goals, our dreams? how long will we have to wait it out? what will we do if the absolute worst thing happens? let's say i lose my job, or johnny loses his. inflation is sky high and we can't pay the mortgage and our bills. what then? we'd have to consider moving? i can't lose my house and there ain't no way we can sell it. i just don't know. i feel very bad for people who have already met this face to face and are now living in a trailer or shelter. that can't happen to us, we have dogs.

all i can do for now is hope that things will work themselves out and try to prepare for the worst.

updated: here's an article that says it all.

oh yea...

i almost forgot. apparently a tornado hit atlanta this past friday night and did some damage to downtown. johnny and i are fine, everyone i know is fine. we just got a bad thunderstorm. even my office, which is only a mile from the georgia dome, is safe. so yeah, don't worry about us.

oh the joy of cameras!!

choco sniffing the forsythias; louie getting his big head right in the middle of my shot...

yesterday i went ahead and borrowed my old camera back from my stepdad to use while johnny and i are on vacation next weekend. i forgot how much i missed taking pictures and couldn't resist snapping a few early spring photos around my house. well, i got a little carried away and ended up doing full panoramas of every corner of my yard. i even got on the roof.

it was a beautiful day yesterday and there was plenty to take pictures of, but i wont bore you with pictures of random trees and wood siding. so, here are a few highlights. feast your eyes upon this:

my sorry compost pile with chicken pen/seedling cold frame made of bamboo... beautiful background, though!

one of my new blackberry bushlings, waiting to be planted....

fruits of my labor last year, i think i planted these

while still in a cast....

moto and choco, stalking me in the side yard where

i plan to build the chicken pen.

the curtain i made a couple weeks ago for my closet,

i took out the closet door because it was always open

and took up too much space.

this is my shame....how can i get anything done with an

office that looks like this?? there's material everywhere!!

i have nowhere to put anything - please help!!

a random corner in my bedroom, i thought the bright

orange looked cool against the aqua blue walls. yes, my

bedroom really is this color and i freakin LOVE it.

aaahhhh.... wasn't that nice? pictures to look at! it's been too long....

the rest of the weekend actually sucked. johnny got sick and was miserable, neither one of us got any sleep despite getting a brand new king sized pillowtop 10 year non pro-rated warranty chiropractic approved 10 guage spring memory foam bed. we took apart the evil ikea bed and put it in the shed and actually went to american signature and bought a whole new bedroom suite, but then i decided (in the middle of the night) to cancel the bedroom furniture and just use the antique furniture that johnny is refinishing. thank god i came to my senses. spending that much money on furniture is ridiculous, what was i thinking? oh yea, that we could actually afford it....silly me. i would rather have a happy carefree existence unburdened by debt, thank you very much.

work, vacation, life!!

i should be pmsing right now, but for some reason i'm not. no, i'm not pregnant. it seems anytime i sneeze or get a funny look on my face people (my mom, mainly) ask me if i'm pregnant. i kind of think its rude, but i guess it's just a part of life. i am in very very good spirits lately, which is nice. maybe i notice it more because i have been tracking my mood everyday. suddenly things don't seem so bad. anyways, i'm happier at work because i have been busy. isn't that funny? the busier i am, the happier i am. well, i don't like being too busy for too long, but putting together a permit package of only about 10 sheets rather than 100 sheets is just right for me. i can handle that. i am actually looking forward to a nice vacation. before, going on a vacation would actually stress me out further - the planning, the money, the arrangements, all the stuff i would be missing or potential disasters that may occur in my absence. nope, none of that.

maybe its because its spring. there's more daylight, more enjoying the outdoors. i don't know, but i am grateful. i missed these feelings last year cause i was stuck in bed or in a wheelchair. it's a good thing that happened to me because now i can appreciate everything that much more.

i have about a dozen little side projects going on, too. i am helping my mom design, print, put together, and mail out her inauguration invitations. she also wants me to redesign a space as a lecture hall for her new position as president. i am also helping co-ordinate a baby not-shower but bbq for my dear friend V, who is having her first kid in may. i am so excited for her, and i am so happy to be witnessing all of it, i feel like i have been priviledged to be a part of her life during this awesome time. i need to sew that baby sling we bought fabric for and meanwhile i am making the arrangements for johnny and i to go on vacation in a couple of weekends to florida to get some R&R in the sun. i just finished designing the new NUUC sign for my boss, and now am designing the sanctuary for him. oh, and i am also trying to get the damn pines cut down and dealing with the shadiest tree cutter in town while simultaneously trying to get an estimate on the roof and finish cleaning, painting, and organizing the house for a potential month-long house guest. yea, so i'm pretty busy. but happily so.

ironically, by the time i get home all i can do is be a lazy ass and eat dinner and watch tv. i really need to get more exercise so i have more energy. today a co-worker and i are going to IKEA for lunch to power walk and have lunch. i just love those swedish meatballs.

oh, and did i mention that we are having a huge yard sale in april?

brainwashing myself

so there's an article on unclutterer that really makes sense to me, considering i am one of those people who believes in brainwashing. i have tried self hypnosis during my temporary insanity period of college. i was going nuts, didn't know how to deal with it so got someone to prescribe drugs for me. i ended up on effexor and it turned me into a zombie. every night i had surrealistic dreams of being a man and swimming with seals in the arctic. it was like a quasi-permanent state of tripping. believe me, i know. needless to say, it was not helping or solving any problems so i quit cold-turkey which is comparable to a bad acid trip while pmsing.

i still had the issues that made me turn to pharmaceuticals in the first place, so i explored hypnosis, which my father allegedly knows all about. that didn't work as well as i had hoped, but i did learn how to visualize my rage as a bright red and turn it into a less insane shade of blue-green. i made mandalas in my head. it helps, when i remember to use the technique.

then i came across a random quote that made me realize that i had been brainwashed all my life. to this day, i cannot remember the exact quote, and i don't remember where i read it or who said it, but the gist of it is that suffering the abuse of power long enough will turn you into ______. i can't remember that exact word, and it drives me crazy, but at the time i read that quote, it made so much sense and i instantly knew how it applied to my life.

this post could go down another long and dark path, so i'm going to cut the story short here. basically, i think i could use this brainwashing susceptibilty to my advantage. i could turn lemons onto lemonade, if i can figure out how to get there. i might need professional help, but wouldn't it be worth it? i'm tired of extremes. i don't want to be a zombie, but i don't want to be crazy, either. i want to make my life my way, not as a result of everything that has been done to me, or my lack of conviction or fears. the funny thing is, i KNOW what i am capable of, i have been tested (to quote hillary) and i have seen the power that my mind has over my body and my will. i'm actually proud of how well i am able to handle things when i have no other choice. but lazy, spoiled and resentful me has taken hostage of me right now and she's hanging on. does this make me sound utterly nuts or does this make any sense? i'll shut up now.

crazy weather

i'm finally getting some much needed housework done - organizing and cleaning my office. i just thought i would mention that yesterday it was a beautiful 72 degrees outside and this morning it is snowing and the trees look like they may blow over at any second...

its still a good day :)

it's been a long while...

...since i have been on vacation. almost 3 years since my whirlwind tour of europe where i was lost 75% of the time, had sores all over my feet, almost got kicked off a train by cutoms police going through slovakia, had dysentery through 4 countries, got a full body massage by a 5' 99 lb. hungarian man who looked like mr. pringle, paid 8 euros to drink a coke sitting down by the Colosseum, had a huge fight with my mom in rome, smoked really fine pot on a spanish rooftop, wrote johnny a letter sitting on the banks of a canal in venice, rode a giant ferry across the meditteranean with my prank-pulling mom, and had a big falling out with my college roommate. Oh, and nearly getting blown up in the tube. Thats sounds funny...actually i left london the night before the subway bombings. that sounds better.

yeah, it's time for another fun-filled vacation. i think this time its going to focus on relaxation. johnny and i are going to the beach in florida, a really small quiet beach far from spring breakers and not too terribly much to do. i want to take a 2 hour sunset cruise, maybe do some fishing and scalloping, snorkel and kayak a bit. all we have to do is figure out what to do with the dogs.

this is the kind of vacation bibi would really enjoy. she loves the beach. louie would probably be scared of the beach, he's never seen one. syrus could probably care less as long as he got table scraps. unfortunately, i dont think we can take any of them with us. there would be no relaxation, which is what we need.

We both got the time off, which is a small miracle in itself, now we have to make reservations and i have to make lists. shopping lists, packing lists, activity lists, etc. fun fun.

I must MUST have a camera. i might have to steal my mom's. i'm sending my busted nikon in to get fixed. i'm actually looking forward to this vacation!

tired of pink!

so, i'm working on my blog header and i decided the pink house with the teal windows was too obnoxious, so i tried to tone it down a bit. not so sure i like the new peach house, though. let me know what you think!

this sucks

not having a camera truly blows. it feels like i am missing something. i've been trying to return the crapped out nikon coolpix i got at costco, but i don't have the receipt because my mom bought it for me, and trying to find one of her receipts is an exercise in futility. they looked up her membership and claimed that the 90 return period was expired so now i have to go through the manufacturer warranty. somebody shoot me. somebody shoot them.

so, i realized i've been holding out a bit on posting to my blog because i don't have any pictures to post. then i realized that i was defeating the purpose of my blog, which is just a place for me to document my thoughts and experiences, not show off my picture taking skills (or lack therof). all i can say is sorry.

so, to catch everyone up to speed on the adventures of me, the most interesting person in the world (does sarcasm translate over the web?).

I found a mood tracker ( i may have already mentioned this) and have been using it for a couple weeks now. it's definitely showing some trends, but too early to have a definitive range. we'll see how the graph plummets when pms strikes. i'll try to find a way to post the graph so ya'll can see how nuts i am.

my mother is being inaugurated as the president of the georgia korean chamber of commerce.

we still haven't gotten bibi's surgery yet. i wont comment on this further.

my pine trees are still standing tall on my property, and it looks as though the tree cutting guy is scamming me. i'm not pissed about it yet, but when it hits, this guy had better watch out.

this past weekend johnny and i went to lowe's and i got a chance to heal my spirit a little by getting a bunch of gardening supplies. i haven't done that in a loooong time, but i am determined to have a garden this year. it felt sooo good to pick out some seeds (they actually had some heirloom ones) and soil and even a new birdfeeder and windchime - of which i will be taking pictures of asap - to adorn the backyard and lure unsuspecting small furry and feathered creatures into the waiting maws of either choco (most likely) or the dogs (fat chance).

i planted: okra, basil, fennel, oregano, tomato, bell pepper, jalepeno, habanero, green chile, pole beans, squash, cilantro, parsley, and chives. I also got two blackberry bushlings which i am going to plant next weekend. it feels very good to have gardening projects going on. johnny even restarted refinishing the antique dressers we got a while ago. it was a very nice productive weekend.

also last weekend, my very pregnant friend V and i went fabric shopping at joann's, which is the vortex of all time suckers. i could easily spend hours in that place, just looking at yarn. well, we spent about 3.5-4 hours in there looking at fabric for making baby clothes. it was a lot of fun, although next time we'll have to bring snacks. i love fabric so much.

and the fruit of our fabra-holic shopping spree was a very cute little curtain i made for my bedroom closet. it's a white background cotton print with colorful daisies and leaves in teal, orange, and red with touches of black and brown. it reminds me of hawaii. i just love it and bought the last scrap of it which was just enough to make a one panel curtain. johnny removed the closet door, which was always open and in the way of our tiny bedroom. now its so much more open without the ugly door in the way. i can't wait to take pictures of it and post them!

and i think it's important to take a note of the weather. we've had normal amounts of rain so far this year (i think) and even today we are having a healthy rainstorm. it's in the 60's out, very mild and it's been mild all weekend. it sure feels like spring but nothing has really bloomed yet. i bought a tempurature / rain guage from lowe's so now i can monitor the rain myself. i hope the drought ends this year.

aarrrgghh!

...as you can see, i totally screwed up my widgets. i don't know if i feel like trying to get them all back.....