goin' down to chinatown

today was a good day. it started off sucky cause I couldn't sleep last night and then I finally went to sleep and ended up oversleeping. then i started to get an eye infection so i had to take out my contact lens. but soon it was time for suejin and i to go grocery shopping. we are on a very tight budget (about $180.00/month) on food for 4-5 people so we were a little worried about the food situation and like an answer from the cosmos we stopped at a light at the intersection of price st and henry st and had a fateful conversation. i always wondered what was inside the brick building that had a sign that said "chinatown grocery" on it. why? because it's the ONLY sign in savannah that even says chinatown, there's not a single asian person in sight because we are in the g-h-e-t-t-o. surely, it wasn't really a chinese grocery store - that would be....wierd. but for some reason i wanted to go check it out.

so we go inside and sure enough, it looks like a typical convenience store in the ghetto. but then... i found something that caught my eye. something so exciting that i almost thought my eyes were decieving me. there, at the front of the store was a big table with opened boxes full of - asian pastries!!! like the kind you get at mozarts - custard filled breads and sesame balls with red bean paste and even a hot dog stuffed bun! i was thrilled. so was suejin. we immediatly picked out some pastries for breakfast and continued looking around. in the back there was a meat counter and a petite asian woman doing something with her back turned to us. it wasn't a very busy store so i wasn't sure if the food was fresh but then i read some signs on the wall that said, "family specials". they had a meat deal where you could get 3 lbs of ground beef, 3 lbs of turkey wings, 3 lbs of turkey necks, 3 lbs of fish, 3 lbs of pork chops, 3 lbs of chicken thighs, 3 lbs of chicken drumsticks for $31.95. that's a lot of meat! we were wondering what we could make out of turkey necks and wings when the butcher came up and offered to give us extra chicken instead of the turkey. DEAL.

then out of nowhere an asian man tells us, there's more the back. so we go back there and it was like god smiled down upon us. it was a mini asian farmers market!! there were freezers full of rice cakes, squids, a produce section with persimmons and chestnuts and fresh ginger, a few aisles of asian canned goods like noodles, coconut milk and curries. every time we turned around a corner one of us was squealing with delight. suejin even found a shelf of asian cookies and yelled out, "LOOK, they have choco-pies!!"

we happily paid for our pastries and the wonderful butcher brought the boxof meat to our car. we were so happy. we had a month's worth of meat for $32. right now our freezer is packed to the gills.

we love chinatown.

kombucha

have you heard of a drink called kombucha? i just read about it today and i am totally intrigued. it sounds like it might be something i like. bryna introduced me to yerba mate, with cream and sugar, and i love it. i found this website about kombucha and i'm thinking about buying a mother batch. if you have any opinions on it, let me know in the comments. it appears to be getting very popular and can't be any worse than noni juice!

my very first piece of pottery, which i gave to my mom...

being back at dry pond is like having a powerful flashback. i remember spending thanksgiving there with just johnny and my mom and syrus and grilling steak outside in the cold and how incredibly awesome fresh baked french loaf with cream cheese and fig jam is. i remember all the way back when it was a worn down shamble of a house and fixing it up with ricky and a crew of mexican immigrants. i remember meeting my cousin's baby mama at a major family holiday gathering and having to keep my aunt aja from attacking kris's girlfriend from the other side of the dining table. how many countless hours of karaoke sung and korean card games played, fires lit in the fireplaces and meals eaten. i find random things left at dry pond and accumulated into a museum of family crap, like the above pictured pottery, which i made in my very first pottery class. i hate going to dry pond but i also love it. it's just a really emotionally charged place.

feeding time at the koi ponds....

we went up tp hurricane shoals park after collecting crystals so i could dunk my feet in the cold river and it was so relaxing, i had to record the moment. well, it was relaxing to me and my mom, i don't think johnny was very relaxed, he was on his second day of forced nicotine withdrawal (by forced i mean he had no choice of smoking around my mother).

new relationships

I think that the overall tone of this blog is going to lighten up significantly as the year ends. I know a lot of bad things have happened (and even though I blab about a lot of it here, you don't even know the half of it), but things are still looking up and from experience I know that once you've hit the bottom the only way left is up.

So I'd like to take a much needed moment to reflect on some of the good things that have happened recently. First off, my mom is talking to me again, and I am talking to her. I did not speak with her from the day I told her I was getting married to the day of my uncle's funeral and the moment I saw her sitting by herself and crying at the funeral home, all I could do was hug her and tell her I love her. I think she needed me more than anything. I felt bad about our rift but we didn't even have to mention it, it was like it never happened.

I also re-united with my long lost cousin Suejin. Her and I were estranged because our mothers had a huge fight when we were kids and never spoke to each other again (the silent treatment is a hereditary skill). Suejin and I went out to have coffee and started to re-kindle our relationship. Before our moms fought, we were inseperable. In fact, we even used to dress alike and hold hands all the time. We fought each other like cats and dogs but also knew each other like the back of our hands. She was the closest thing to a sister I had as a kid. We felt like we had been robbed of our relationship so we decided to be close again no matter what our mothers say.

This last one is a little bottersweet because I managed to learn some news things about my family and in the process lost my other cousin Kris. He didn't die, but he turned his back on me and my mom. Normally, this would have hurt me and angered me but there's nothing I can really do to fix it so I'm letting it go. In exchange for that, I understand my mother on a whole new level.

I also made some important self-discoveries that I think came to me by the balancing of karma. I am beginning to believe a little more in the concept of a destiny, and the idea that you are born with one. I think it's an inherent talent and disposition towards something that had to have been manifested by a previous soul and reborn as a new person's destiny. I know it sounds completely nuts but I promise I'm not becoming a fanatic mysticist. It makes perfect sense to me, only because I don't believe in coincidences. I think it's truly a blessing to recieve your destiny because you will feel everything you lacked like confidence when insecure and happiness when sad. It's like finally having peace of mind. Like finding something you cherished but lost long ago. Maybe it's just me hitting a very late puberty. I feel enlightened.

I am also feeling financially enlightened as I am now managing her hotel project and will be compensated. And, Johnny has finally gotten an economic break. I can't wait until the election, as I truly think things are going to get much better.

the wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!

the dogs have gotten quite used to riding in the car. actually, they kinda love it. all of them like to stick their heads out the window. bibi likes to sit up front, lean her right arm out of the window and rest her paw on the side mirror (which she ended up breaking off). syrus balances himself by propping up a back leg against the seat. louie just sits like a little kid and stares out of the window.

syrus is very alert in the car. he can recognize where he is going when he sees the following landmarks: McDonald's = cheeseburger. winding road through neighborhood = lake. horse farm = uncle jimmy's house in beaufort. short drive through beaufort = beach. speed humps = home. talmadge bridge = auntie kim's in savannah. he gets all excited and starts whining and jumping all over the place. it's really entertaining.

rainbows

it's been pretty warm and dry in georgia lately - although not nearly as bad as it was this time last year. we are still in a drought but we seem to be getting rain more often. yesterday was a strange weather day. it was bright and sunny all day then around 6pm it got really dark and cloudy and it poured for about 10 minutes. the whole time johnny and i were stuck at another chamber of commerce shindig for my mom, but we got to witness the best part of it all. as we left the building, we noticed a vibrant rainbow right in front of us. then we realized holy crap - we can see the whole thing! it was truly a magnificent rainbow. then i saw another rainbow on top of the first one - like a double rainbow. we could see the whole thing so clearly, it was just beautiful. i wish i had a camera at that moment, but johnny and i watched the rainbow the whole way home because it seemed to follow us. we even saw it clearly from the highway. as we got closer to home, we noticed that the end of the rainbow seemed to be right over our neighborhood. in fact, the end of the rainbow seemed to be right over our house....

sometimes it's hard not to believe in god cause there are just some things quite unexplainable. i can't imagine what better sign from the heavens than a beautiful rainbow leading the way home. it made me happy to think we already have a pot of gold.

on the other hand, johnny pointed out, someone might have already followed that rainbow and is ransacking our house.....

the return of the housephone

last friday on my day off i went to a check-up with my doctor and in the process somehow managed to get my cellphone disconnected. let's just say, VERIZON SUCKS. yes, they do. the lady called me up while i was IN the exam room and tried to corner me into paying my bill right then and there. well, i told her i couldn't pay her at that moment so she disconnected my line and johnny's. the funny thing is, she tone of her voice indicated that she really thought she was hurting me by shutting off my service. like she had a gun to my head, and i should be frightened and beg her not to cut it off. i honestly didn't care. in fact, i was fine with it. the only person that needs me to have a cellphone that bad is my mom and i feel no obligation to pay that much money to be at her beck and call. this woman obviously had no clue how much i didn't care about my damn cell phone. so it got turned off.

it was actually quite refreshing to not hear the annoying ringtone and then feel obligated to answer it whenever it rings. i rather dislike talking on the phone in general(excluding my bff's and my sis, of course). so we had to rely on the house phone for communication. we only have one house phone, and it is on the 2nd floor, in the office. it's mainly a fax machine, actually, and the only purpose it serves is to establish a DSL connection for my internet. I hate COMCAST, too. unfortunately, we have learned to tune out the sound of the house phone ringing so we never answer it. and if you do manage to hear it, you have to dash upstairs to answer before the fax kicks on. if this was to be our only means of using a telephone, it obviously wouldn't do.

so johnny installed a new jack and set up the cordless phone in the living room. this is the first time since i have lived in the house that i had a phone in any other room besides the office. and it was nice. i liked it. in fact, i LIKE having a house phone better than having a cell phone now. it's non-committal. i don't have to answer it. why? cause i could be out. or i could be not near the phone. or i could be outside. i have excuses not to answer!! this will work great on my mom.

well, she wasn't so happy about the blackout and made it clear that this will not do for her. she told me that i have to have a cell phone.

so i called up verizon on monday and paid the stupid bill and got my phone back on. ugh.

lazy lazy weekend

i hardly did anything over my 3 day weekend. it was great. johnny and i basically lounged around the house. well, i mainly napped while johnny did random things like re-inforce the chicken barrier and screw handles on the coop. we are having a bit of trouble keeping the chickens from roaming onto the street. a few of my neighbors have come by to check out our birds so i think they'll be cool with having a mini chicken farm next door. unfortunately, jerky has begun to practise his crowing. right now he sounds like he has a sore throat.

i think i need to take a little break from blogging while i get certain things in my life straightened out. i have to re-examine my career/job issue and plan for my future a little bit. i am also trying to lose 15 by the next time i see my doctor which is in 3 months. i've been walking around the neighborhood and eating less so i a optimistic about losing weight but don't wanna jinx myself.

in the meantime, i will be posting less frequently. cause ya know, i blog way too much.

ugableghflppbb

that pretty much sums it up. i die of boredom a little bit each day. i try not to gripe about my life too much cause i know nobody wants to hear it and pessimism is unhealthy. but seriously. i have it good compared to a great many people and i am fortunate. i am actually more happy overall now than i think i have ever been in my life. my only hang-up is i mourn the past too much. i dwell on how things should have been, and instead of focusing on how to change things, i get stuck. it's really quite frustrating and seeing as i don't have a god i can trust to just fix everything for me, i get pretty bummed about things i don't think the average person gets bummed about. this is something i've done for a very long time, as far back as i can remember! i have some ways of coping, but generally i do not handle stress very well. well, it may seem like i do but actually i don't. i perform relatively well under pressure but it takes a toll on me physically and mentally. then i get to marinate in resentment for a little while and that takes a further toll on me. see? it's a vicious cycle. so how do people deal with their stress, i wonder? how is it that they have a lot of the same issues i have (nobody is unique anymore, in terms of "problems") but they seem to deal with it and move on with life, as healthy and happy as before. is there something i am missing? a chemical? a technique learned in childhood?

boredom is my ultimate enemy. it causes me to ruminate too much. it causes me to mindlessly snack, or wander around the internet. it makes me want to sleep. it makes me want to do anything but what i am supposed to be doing. i am constantly bored at work. is that normal? it's tortuous for me cause i have to sit here and think about all the other stuff i could be doing at home, or in my life in general. i've realized that i am not the ambitious person my mother wants me to be - i am more of a homemaker, a teacher, a gardener, a caretaker, a nurse, a woman. i imagine all the feminists of the 60's would be highly disappointed in me, seeing as i spent 8 years to get a master's degree in architecture only to dream of being a housewife. i'm almost ashamed of it, but should i be? is it somehow demeaning cause it seems to be looked down on. i don't understand why women are expected to have a career and a family now, it just seems like there can't be both. one or the other. it's hard for me to make those kind of difficult decisions - take my licensing exam, or have children before my ovaries dry up? get LEED certified or save money for a baby? try to move up my position or spend more time preparing myself for having a family? how does one make a decision this tough? i can't even imagine what it would be like to be a single working mom, i just can't. it's a shame our country doesn't take care of it's women and children a little better. at least take good care fo the children so the women can worry less.

blog tagging

ok, so i admit i'm a little behind. i had no clue what blog tagging was until a few months ago when bloggers that i liked to read got tagged and shared whatever information was requested and then tagged other bloggers. it's kind of like the popular kid's game, internet version. i never got tagged, didn't know the "rules" of tagging, didn't know anything, basically. but then i saw more and more of it and thought to myself, man this is kind of dumb. i get the concept - you know, share random bits of info about yourself to total strangers so you feel like you're "getting to know each other". but what i wonder is, why can't there be sharing useful information tagging going on? well, maybe there is, i just don't know about it. see, in reality, i'm just a dork trying to play with the big kids. so instead of waiting for someone to have pity on me and tag me i am going to make up my own tag and invite my own friends to play so :P!

in case you're like me and haven't the foggiest idea of how to play, here are (my) rules: if i mention your name and link to your blog in this post, you have to answer the question and tag another 5 people by naming them in your post. don't forget to alert them by commenting on their blog and let them know you tagged them. my tag is going to have a farm-y theme (naturally) and it goes something like this:

1. Name one of your favorite flowering plants and any info you may have off the top of your head about it.

2. Name one of your favorite farm animals or pets and explain why.

3. Name one of your favorite vegetable/fruit/nut plant/tree to grow and show picture(s) of it.

4. Name a plant or animal that you want to grow/raise in the near future.

5. Name a home remedy that you use for whatever ailment and share the recipe/technique.



that's it! wouldn't it be interesting to see what other people have to say about that? i think so! so, the people i am going to tag are:



1. my bff Vanessa, who just started her own blog and will hopefully grace us with a link to it in the comments.

2. Ellen, my first internet buddy :) http://everydaycraftygoodness.wordpress.com/

3. Amy @ http://www.magicalmuse.typepad.com/

4. sister bluebird, a new aquaintance @ http://sisterbluebirdgardener.blogspot.com/

5. Tammie @ http://unusuallyunusualfarmchick.blogspot.com/

i think it would be interesting and valuable information from these folks, and i am excited to see what they have to say. i'll answer the questions, too :)

1. one of my favorite flowering plants is the TEA OLIVE tree. i just love the way the flowers smell when it's in bloom. it smells kind of like a cross between honeysuckle and tuberose.

2. my favorite animal (besides dogs, of course) is goats. i've never had one, but i have been around goats, watched videos, and read a lot of stuff about them. i think they are absolutely adorable as babies and it's so cute how they like to bounce around, head-butting. i think it's endearing that they'll eat anything and they all have personality. i love goats!

3. my favorite crop to grow is peas. because they grow so fast and without fail, and they are fun to watch with the tendrils grabbing whatever they can. plus, they build up the soil with nitrogen and who doesn't love to eat peas? i don't have a picture of mine right now, but i'll come back and post it later :)

4. something i would like to grow in the future - well, there are actually many things. i'd like to grow leafy vegetables. for some reason, spinach and lettuce and rhubarb and all things leafy intimidate me as a gardener. i'm admittedly inexperienced but i've tried to grow leafy things and it never works! they just sprout and then die.

5. haha - i almost forgot this one myself! a favorite home remedy of mine is cranberry juice. frequent bladder infections (and UTI's) plague the women in my family and if you've never had one, consider yourself lucky. unfortunately, i hate all things cranberry. especially the juice. but, miraculously cranberry juice has worked every single time. i will happily chug a gallon of the stuff to make a bladder infection go away. i did find a cheat, though - cranberry pills! yes, you can get then in a little tablet, and i take a few of those if i feel a UTI coming on. but for a full on bladder infection, chug a gallon of cranberry juice!

observations on poultry

well, i've spent some quality time with my birds and so far i have noticed these things:

1. we have way too many chickens.


2. they all pretty much look alike.


3. the only differences is size, and we have 3 big ones, 1 medium, and 4 small.


4. they really prefer their chicken feed over strawberries and apples.


5. they don't trust me.


6. they stink, and they poop anywhere and everywhere.


7. i think we have roosters in the mix.


8. they are pretty stupid. we had to put them in their henhouse at night.


9. they are warm, slightly squishy and soft.


10. they like to boss each other around.


11. they fluff up when they sit down to sleep.


12. i think they can fly.

garden photos

pictured above: cherry tomato bush in big red pot, peppermint in small wooden planter, lavender in white ceramic pot, pineapple sage in tall white ceramic pot behind post. on the steps are two stoneware pots with bulb flowers that i do not remember the name of. in the big pot with the hay, cuttings from the remains of a dying fig tree than i am hoping will take root (using rooting hormone) but i am not very hopeful that it will work....

in the background, under the hay is a row of various asiatic lilies and caladuims, just sprouting. on the deck is a lemon thyme plant, citronella candle, cinnamon basil, sweet basil, leeks, some kind of ground cover plants, and a lemon balm plant in the terracotta. also, a waiting to be planted jasmine bush - smells awesome! oh, and a pair of dirty socks.

i realize i may be the only person in the world fascinated with watching bamboo growing, but damn, look at those shoots! those are 4 days old! louie has been a good boy and not knocked any more of them over.

johnny and i made these steps leading up to my parent's house (next door) with leftover cement from our stepping stone experiment (which failed). it feels a lot safer walking up and down that little hill now.

and of course, my garden! the peas have come up, as well as the cucumbers and even the carrots have teeny little sprouts coming up! i just love love love my little garden.

and even though i said i wouldn't post any progress pics until it was finished, i had to show off my first chicken! moto is ready to meet his new little friends....

news you can use

i realized the other day while driving home from work that not everybody knows what i know. and i just took it for granted that they did. for example: last week my boss took me to one of his vistage meetings to hear a speaker talk about nutrition. vistage is a membership for ceo's who want to better themselves, better their business, etc. anyways, i tried to keep my eye rolling to a minimum because the whole thing was lame. well, lame to me. so the guy blabs on about eating the right proportions and talks about fiber and protein and yada yada yada - like who hasn't heard all of this before? he seriously expected these people to pack a small cooler with protein and veggies everyday and take it everywhere so that you can eat 6 times a day. he's also a bodybuilder. that right there made me tune him out. he is not your average person and therefore knows not what he demands. anyways, he had this HUGE secret to share. he said it would be LIFE CHANGING and that it was actually illegal for him to tell us this. now, this perked me right up cause it sounded fantastic. i was anxiously waiting for him to reveal the mystery of a good looking body. finally, he picks up a small bottle and with a huge grin, pronounces that he has found the ultimate solution. stevia. stevia. i accidentally laughed out loud and then had to play it off. he passed it around so everyone could have a taste and there was much ooohing and aaahing. i was quite disappointed. stevia was his ace in the hole? who the hell doesn't know about stevia? hello? why is it illegal for him to tell us about it? because the sugar industry has literally outlawed the promotion of stevia as a sugar substitue. crazy, huh? anyways, i left the meeting early cause there was nothing else this guy could have said that i didn't already know. i know i sound extremely pompous. but come on, who doesn't know about stevia? in this day and age, there is information everywhere! tips, articles, books, blogs, forums, etc etc. how can any person on any kind of diet/nutrition kick not know about using stevia and eating lots of soluable and insoluable fiber and eating protein only the size of your palm? duh!!

then it occured to me that maybe I'm the one who doesn't realize something. maybe i'm just a freak of nature, that i obsessively research stuff and squirrel away information like a packrat? yes, you only have to look at the files on my computer and the number of bookmarks i have to know this. i have over 3,000 bookmarks. and i don't normally bookmark a single page or article unless it's really good. i bookmark entire websites chock full of information both common knowledge and obscure. i know shit that i have no reason to know. and then an epiphany: would i be doing a good deed by sharing any of this info? i mean, half the blogs on the web are tutorials or how-to videos, lists & tips. i don't want to be regurgitating anything already online - but then maybe the people who read my blog don't know about those websites? maybe they don't have the time or inclination to root through all the crap to find the good stuff?

can ya tell i'm bored at work today?

back to stevia. if you don't know what it is, it's a plant. it is a natural sweetener - which means no weird chemicals, no calorie overload, no insulin rush. it's like 400,000 times sweeter than sugar or something like that. you only need a 1/4 teaspoon of the diltuted stuff to equal a whole tablespoon of sugar. use it for sweetening everything, you can find it with the herbal supplements (it's illegal to promote it as sugar, so it won't be in that section of the store). there's a comapny called sweet leaf that makes a product and you can also find it at trader joe's.

so this morning in my daily perusal of google reader, i come across this very handy article called 20 things you can use twice before throwing away. isn't that handy? check it out.

a good thing about being korean...

we have adorable babies...

korean baby singing hey jude


hello! good morning! johnny is supposed to be building my coop today but is now helping clean out one of my mom's rental houses. it was really cold yesterday and last night, almost freezing! my veggies made it through OK, though.

bibi is oprah

omg, this is hilarious. on dogster you can take a quiz to find out what clebrity your dog is most like. i did bibi first, and she turns out to be like oprah. i'm gonna do syrus and louie next...
Wow, your dog is Oprah!
Oprah
The Host with the Most
When Bibi barks, people listen. Yes, indeed, Bibi is Oprah Winfrey.
A true rags-to-riches story, Bibi is a comeback pet who has not only survived a troubled start, but uses her success to lend a helping paw to others. Well-rounded and hard-working, Bibi has re-written the rules of stardom and continues to spread her influence throughout the animal kingdom. Still a down-home country girl, Bibi's one weakness is the chow that she knows from her youth, and she's not afraid to gobble up a little gravy every now and then. Bibi manages to keep her positive reputation intact, despite being hounded by the press and her thousands of diehard fans everywhere she goes. Bibi is smart, creative and innovative and has used these qualities to build up an empire the likes of which have never before been seen.



louie
Wow, your dog is Johnny Knoxville!
Johnny Knoxville
Up for Anything
The kind of pet that can leap tall fences in a single bound (or not, but give it a shot anyhow), louie is the original Jackass, Johnny Knoxville!
Going through the pain so you don't have to, louie knows that he trots a fine line between funny and stupid, but he doesn't care—he's laughing about it all the way to the pet store. His over-the-top antics make you grimace with fear and you often find it hard to believe that he actually enjoys playing the class clown. But louie laps it up and continues to defy the odds, despite your warnings and concerns. Other males in the pack tend to be a little jealous of louie, but the females find him simply dreamy. A die-hard good ol' boy, louie is more of a General Lee type than a Knight Rider, but give him enough time to think things through and he's sure to find a way to wreck both vehicles at the same time.



haha... syrus got
Wow, your dog is Will Ferrell!
Will Ferrell
The Comedian
Keeping a straight face around syrus is a cheek muscle-wrenching nightmare. Try as you may, but giggling is inevitable because syrus is comedian Will Ferrell!
For a while syrus was just funny on Saturday nights, but that's all changed now that he's taken his act on the road. Whether he's being silly in real life or on the silver screen, syrus has a true knack for making people crack up. syrus has even managed to make the crossover to the cyberwebs, where he delivers raw, fresh, uncooked humor to his countless cyberpet fans. A fast runner, syrus runs marathons when he's not dreaming up his next slapstick routine. Widely talented and able to impetsonate any number of two and four-legged critters, syrus's fans will be lapping it up for a long time to come.

vote for me!

oh, there's so much to tell you....

but for right now, click on this link and vote for my design! You should make one for yourself, too!

**well, i wanted pictures to back this up but i have no working camera as of yet. my new one is still at nikon's service department and my crappy old one goes through batteries like a newborn goes through diapers. so, imagine if you will....

all last week johnny and my stepbrother have been building me a new front porch. yes, i was very excited because as you all know, my front porch was hideous (see below). the porch is now more or less done, waiting only for a few last embellishments, but let me tell you it is fabulous and i LOVE it. i want to spend all morning and evening out there. i have a place to perch and watch the neighborhood, hang out and chat, water my plants and enjoy other leisurely activities...



here is a progress shot from last tuesday. you can barely see the corner of the old porch to the right where it caught on fire last year. thank god i don't have to see that anymore...
here's what it looks like nearly completed:

as you can see, a vast improvement and i was very impressed with the workmanship. notice that the same day the deck was laid was Penelope's birthday. i have since then bought a bunch of plants and graded the area in front of the porch to create a path to my garden which (surprise again!) johnny built for me using the wood planks from the old porch. i can't wait to show you all of this but my stupid &$%# camera is dead.

and last but certainly not least - a small mystery worth remembering. at some point during the day last sunday while johnny and i were busy doing yardwork i noticed that Louie's whiskers were missing. yes. missing. at first, it was so strange i couldn't even wrap my mind around it so i spent the entire day questioning johnny and wondering out loud what the hell could Louie have gotten into that would cause all of his whiskers to disappear. well, they weren't entirely gone, but cut really really short. then i noticed his eyebrow whiskers were gone, too. in fact, every whisker in louies head was gone except for one lone whisker above his eye. he looked quite ridiculous and blissfully unaware of it.

i figured he may have gotten into the bathtub and was chewing on one of my razors? or perhaps they got singed off somehow? i can't even describe the frustration and sheer perplexity of wondering what happened to louie. although it was funny to watch him licking his chops and making weird faces. so after we finished doing yard work and were chillin' on the porch, i noticed that syrus had a few whiskers missing - but only a few... now that was truly weird because syrus is notoriously obsessive compulsive and would not allow anything to happen to his whiskers. i checked bibi's face - she was fine. so it was something that only syrus and louie could have gotten into. hhhmmm...

well, all i could do is wait for other members of the household to return home for questioning. i wasn't entirely convinced that johnny was innocent but i needed confirmation from B and my stepbrother. finally, late that night B comes home and sits next to me on the porch. we share the peace pipe and i started to ask her about the whiskers when johnny immediately went on the defensive before i could explain to B what happened. all she could do was laugh...and laugh...and laugh... she told me that SHE had "groomed" louie. he apparently needed a whisker cut. she said syrus wouldn't sit still for it. no shit.

i swear it was the funniest thing ever. you had to be there, i suppose... but what made it so funny is that this is the sort of trivial mischief that I would have done myself once upon a time... louie is just too easy to pick on. and only a mother would notice something like that... good one, B.

Dove Kills.

the real cloverfield

hahahahaha... yea i know i'm corny. this is a clover patch next to my carport. doesn't it look lush and pretty? actually today it was snowing pollen. it's a good thing i don't have allergies because i would have been dying today. i spent the whole day cleaning - inside and out. i rinsed off the windows, the back patio, the back porch and my car. there was so much pollen it was caked on everything like chalk dust. johnny patched the roof (i've been sleeping under a leaky roof) and replaced my brakes. I did a chunk of my taxes and (halleluah!!) cleaned up my office a bit.

now i can actually do stuff in my office besides check my email. look at how clear my desks are!! yes, i still have a ton of shit but it's neater. this weekend was good because we finally got to do things we've pushed back for too long.

bibi is doing well. she is very stubborn and prefers to follow you room to room than stay in any one place for long. we have to put her in the crate for that. but she's doing well.

countdown to meltdown...

it's only a matter of time before poop hits the fan. i'm not talking about me. i'm talking about our economy. i really think we are in for a serious recession, the likes of which my generation has never seen, much less suffered.

i'm hearing on npr that the fed is stretching itself thin and lowering the interest rates is not going to help fix the economy. i'm worried because as it is, johnny and i are trudging by with what we make. yes, we could be more frugal - mainly I could be more frugal - but i'm not all that extravagant to begin with so inflation will hit us pretty hard. geez, the price of gas is already hurting. i hate that i have to even buy gas, stupid MARTA. times are going to get tough here soon and my concern is, what are we going to do?

the scary thing is, as civilization "advances" the common person is less and less equipped to take care of themselves in the case of an emergency like this. the government has become our crutch and it seems like without it all will fall apart. the most basic of needs like food and water - who can afford to pay $3 for a tomato, or find potable water if the water plants fail? we have basically set ourselves up to wither away and die without the support of a strong economy. it just seems very senseless to me. but before i get too hypocritical, i admit that i am just as plugged in as the next person. i'm trying to find a way to become more self-sufficient but it seems just like everything else, self-suffiency has a price tag. i am so glad i didn't buy that damn furniture, that would be one more thing to worry about in a world where there are more important things going on. i was gripped in a consumerist frenzy for a brief moment and now that i snapped out of it, i feel better.

so, let's think about our near future worst case scenario. gas is $5 a gallon. our grocery bill raises by 20%, and we still make the same amount of money at work (if we don't get laid off, god forbid) what do we do? i guess hunker down and wait it out. save as much money as possible and eat from our garden. what happens to our goals, our dreams? how long will we have to wait it out? what will we do if the absolute worst thing happens? let's say i lose my job, or johnny loses his. inflation is sky high and we can't pay the mortgage and our bills. what then? we'd have to consider moving? i can't lose my house and there ain't no way we can sell it. i just don't know. i feel very bad for people who have already met this face to face and are now living in a trailer or shelter. that can't happen to us, we have dogs.

all i can do for now is hope that things will work themselves out and try to prepare for the worst.

updated: here's an article that says it all.

work, vacation, life!!

i should be pmsing right now, but for some reason i'm not. no, i'm not pregnant. it seems anytime i sneeze or get a funny look on my face people (my mom, mainly) ask me if i'm pregnant. i kind of think its rude, but i guess it's just a part of life. i am in very very good spirits lately, which is nice. maybe i notice it more because i have been tracking my mood everyday. suddenly things don't seem so bad. anyways, i'm happier at work because i have been busy. isn't that funny? the busier i am, the happier i am. well, i don't like being too busy for too long, but putting together a permit package of only about 10 sheets rather than 100 sheets is just right for me. i can handle that. i am actually looking forward to a nice vacation. before, going on a vacation would actually stress me out further - the planning, the money, the arrangements, all the stuff i would be missing or potential disasters that may occur in my absence. nope, none of that.

maybe its because its spring. there's more daylight, more enjoying the outdoors. i don't know, but i am grateful. i missed these feelings last year cause i was stuck in bed or in a wheelchair. it's a good thing that happened to me because now i can appreciate everything that much more.

i have about a dozen little side projects going on, too. i am helping my mom design, print, put together, and mail out her inauguration invitations. she also wants me to redesign a space as a lecture hall for her new position as president. i am also helping co-ordinate a baby not-shower but bbq for my dear friend V, who is having her first kid in may. i am so excited for her, and i am so happy to be witnessing all of it, i feel like i have been priviledged to be a part of her life during this awesome time. i need to sew that baby sling we bought fabric for and meanwhile i am making the arrangements for johnny and i to go on vacation in a couple of weekends to florida to get some R&R in the sun. i just finished designing the new NUUC sign for my boss, and now am designing the sanctuary for him. oh, and i am also trying to get the damn pines cut down and dealing with the shadiest tree cutter in town while simultaneously trying to get an estimate on the roof and finish cleaning, painting, and organizing the house for a potential month-long house guest. yea, so i'm pretty busy. but happily so.

ironically, by the time i get home all i can do is be a lazy ass and eat dinner and watch tv. i really need to get more exercise so i have more energy. today a co-worker and i are going to IKEA for lunch to power walk and have lunch. i just love those swedish meatballs.

oh, and did i mention that we are having a huge yard sale in april?

brainwashing myself

so there's an article on unclutterer that really makes sense to me, considering i am one of those people who believes in brainwashing. i have tried self hypnosis during my temporary insanity period of college. i was going nuts, didn't know how to deal with it so got someone to prescribe drugs for me. i ended up on effexor and it turned me into a zombie. every night i had surrealistic dreams of being a man and swimming with seals in the arctic. it was like a quasi-permanent state of tripping. believe me, i know. needless to say, it was not helping or solving any problems so i quit cold-turkey which is comparable to a bad acid trip while pmsing.

i still had the issues that made me turn to pharmaceuticals in the first place, so i explored hypnosis, which my father allegedly knows all about. that didn't work as well as i had hoped, but i did learn how to visualize my rage as a bright red and turn it into a less insane shade of blue-green. i made mandalas in my head. it helps, when i remember to use the technique.

then i came across a random quote that made me realize that i had been brainwashed all my life. to this day, i cannot remember the exact quote, and i don't remember where i read it or who said it, but the gist of it is that suffering the abuse of power long enough will turn you into ______. i can't remember that exact word, and it drives me crazy, but at the time i read that quote, it made so much sense and i instantly knew how it applied to my life.

this post could go down another long and dark path, so i'm going to cut the story short here. basically, i think i could use this brainwashing susceptibilty to my advantage. i could turn lemons onto lemonade, if i can figure out how to get there. i might need professional help, but wouldn't it be worth it? i'm tired of extremes. i don't want to be a zombie, but i don't want to be crazy, either. i want to make my life my way, not as a result of everything that has been done to me, or my lack of conviction or fears. the funny thing is, i KNOW what i am capable of, i have been tested (to quote hillary) and i have seen the power that my mind has over my body and my will. i'm actually proud of how well i am able to handle things when i have no other choice. but lazy, spoiled and resentful me has taken hostage of me right now and she's hanging on. does this make me sound utterly nuts or does this make any sense? i'll shut up now.

tired of pink!

so, i'm working on my blog header and i decided the pink house with the teal windows was too obnoxious, so i tried to tone it down a bit. not so sure i like the new peach house, though. let me know what you think!