goin' down to chinatown

today was a good day. it started off sucky cause I couldn't sleep last night and then I finally went to sleep and ended up oversleeping. then i started to get an eye infection so i had to take out my contact lens. but soon it was time for suejin and i to go grocery shopping. we are on a very tight budget (about $180.00/month) on food for 4-5 people so we were a little worried about the food situation and like an answer from the cosmos we stopped at a light at the intersection of price st and henry st and had a fateful conversation. i always wondered what was inside the brick building that had a sign that said "chinatown grocery" on it. why? because it's the ONLY sign in savannah that even says chinatown, there's not a single asian person in sight because we are in the g-h-e-t-t-o. surely, it wasn't really a chinese grocery store - that would be....wierd. but for some reason i wanted to go check it out.

so we go inside and sure enough, it looks like a typical convenience store in the ghetto. but then... i found something that caught my eye. something so exciting that i almost thought my eyes were decieving me. there, at the front of the store was a big table with opened boxes full of - asian pastries!!! like the kind you get at mozarts - custard filled breads and sesame balls with red bean paste and even a hot dog stuffed bun! i was thrilled. so was suejin. we immediatly picked out some pastries for breakfast and continued looking around. in the back there was a meat counter and a petite asian woman doing something with her back turned to us. it wasn't a very busy store so i wasn't sure if the food was fresh but then i read some signs on the wall that said, "family specials". they had a meat deal where you could get 3 lbs of ground beef, 3 lbs of turkey wings, 3 lbs of turkey necks, 3 lbs of fish, 3 lbs of pork chops, 3 lbs of chicken thighs, 3 lbs of chicken drumsticks for $31.95. that's a lot of meat! we were wondering what we could make out of turkey necks and wings when the butcher came up and offered to give us extra chicken instead of the turkey. DEAL.

then out of nowhere an asian man tells us, there's more the back. so we go back there and it was like god smiled down upon us. it was a mini asian farmers market!! there were freezers full of rice cakes, squids, a produce section with persimmons and chestnuts and fresh ginger, a few aisles of asian canned goods like noodles, coconut milk and curries. every time we turned around a corner one of us was squealing with delight. suejin even found a shelf of asian cookies and yelled out, "LOOK, they have choco-pies!!"

we happily paid for our pastries and the wonderful butcher brought the boxof meat to our car. we were so happy. we had a month's worth of meat for $32. right now our freezer is packed to the gills.

we love chinatown.

too much to catch up on!

my mom sewing a skirt for me at dry pond

besides the fact that i constantly lose vital components to either my laptop or camera which prevent me from posting and/or uploading pics, i've been so busy lately that i can't even remember all the stuff i wanted to blog about! the past few weeks have been a whirlwind of friends and family and job hunting, apartment hunting, roadtrips and living out of a suitcase. this is literally the first chance i've had to sit down and write. so while my camera is uploading 300 pictures onto my computer, i'll just briefly touch on the highlight of events.

picked crystals on my new green skirt...

i've spent a lot of time with my mom. going to dry pond and her land that has the crystals. we've picked so much crystal that it filled a pickle jar (thanks, johnny!) and 3 strawberry cartons. i'll post pics of that. i've learned a lot of new things about my family, my mom's past, why she did the things she did and it was kind of a breakthrough. for the first time in her life, she apologized to me. she really apologized and admitted things she never could. she's still a stubborn pain in the ass but i understand her now. the woman has had it tough and never got any credit for it either.

bog mint tea, picked fresh from the koi ponds!

i also spent a lot of time with my cousin suejin and it is now a top priority for me to help her and her mom make a better life for themselves. suejin is 6 months pregnant and has absolutely no support - physically, emotionally, or financially. they are teetering on the edge of homelessness and despair and i just can't bear to think that i've been helping everyone but my own cousin my whole life. she and i are so alike, and i can imagine how totally sad and broken i would be in her position. i don't feel sorry for her, i feel frustrated at how things have happened.

my wonderful friend Shai from india is in town for my wedding. Unfortunately, the wedding has been postponed and she flew all the way from Mumbai! luckily, she's not pissed off and we are all so happy to see each other we don't care. I missed her terribly and I don't want her to leave but she's got other places to go, people to see so she'll be gone this friday.

shai finds a broken perfume bottle in her luggage...

shai is so cute!

new relationships

I think that the overall tone of this blog is going to lighten up significantly as the year ends. I know a lot of bad things have happened (and even though I blab about a lot of it here, you don't even know the half of it), but things are still looking up and from experience I know that once you've hit the bottom the only way left is up.

So I'd like to take a much needed moment to reflect on some of the good things that have happened recently. First off, my mom is talking to me again, and I am talking to her. I did not speak with her from the day I told her I was getting married to the day of my uncle's funeral and the moment I saw her sitting by herself and crying at the funeral home, all I could do was hug her and tell her I love her. I think she needed me more than anything. I felt bad about our rift but we didn't even have to mention it, it was like it never happened.

I also re-united with my long lost cousin Suejin. Her and I were estranged because our mothers had a huge fight when we were kids and never spoke to each other again (the silent treatment is a hereditary skill). Suejin and I went out to have coffee and started to re-kindle our relationship. Before our moms fought, we were inseperable. In fact, we even used to dress alike and hold hands all the time. We fought each other like cats and dogs but also knew each other like the back of our hands. She was the closest thing to a sister I had as a kid. We felt like we had been robbed of our relationship so we decided to be close again no matter what our mothers say.

This last one is a little bottersweet because I managed to learn some news things about my family and in the process lost my other cousin Kris. He didn't die, but he turned his back on me and my mom. Normally, this would have hurt me and angered me but there's nothing I can really do to fix it so I'm letting it go. In exchange for that, I understand my mother on a whole new level.

I also made some important self-discoveries that I think came to me by the balancing of karma. I am beginning to believe a little more in the concept of a destiny, and the idea that you are born with one. I think it's an inherent talent and disposition towards something that had to have been manifested by a previous soul and reborn as a new person's destiny. I know it sounds completely nuts but I promise I'm not becoming a fanatic mysticist. It makes perfect sense to me, only because I don't believe in coincidences. I think it's truly a blessing to recieve your destiny because you will feel everything you lacked like confidence when insecure and happiness when sad. It's like finally having peace of mind. Like finding something you cherished but lost long ago. Maybe it's just me hitting a very late puberty. I feel enlightened.

I am also feeling financially enlightened as I am now managing her hotel project and will be compensated. And, Johnny has finally gotten an economic break. I can't wait until the election, as I truly think things are going to get much better.

smooshie has a new nose

I've only been gone for a week and it seems like an eternity. I've come to think that I don't consider Atlanta home anymore. a week is all I can take. The stress level there is beyond high. I can't even imagine how people live there anymore with all the smog, traffic, corruption and panic. My body and mind were screaming "get out of here!" and my ankle flared up along with my insomnia and indigestion. At one startling moment, I realized I was homesick, and I felt sad and insecure. I was drowning in sorrow with all of the rest of the city.

So, I couldn't take it anymore and posted an ad on craigslist in a moment of weakness; despite the obvious stupidity, and searched for a ride to savannah. To my surprise I got a reply the next day from a woman named Maureen telling me she was headed that way and if I could tell her who I was. I hitchhiked on the internet. So I replied back,

Hey Maureen,

I'm Heather, I went to SCAD and my fiance and I live in Beaufort (which is only 30 mins from SAV). I'm stuck in Atlanta with my parents cause I had to go to a funeral and they were supposed to bring me back to Savannah this weekend but then they had other plans they forgot they already made. I don't want to wait until next weekend so I thought I'd try to find someone heading my way. I can literally be dropped off anywhere in Savannah, I have friends and family all over the place. I just don't want them to waste gas coming to get me cause gas is so freakin expensive. I was hoping to get a ride with a female driver cause ya know.. parents would freak out if i told them i was hitching a ride with a strange man...not to mention fiance would probably not like that! Soooo glad you're a girl... or are you a guy with a girl's name? I'm betting you're a girl. Anyways, I'm not psycho, don't smoke, don't care if you do, and will listen to whatever you want to listen to as long as it isn't gospel music. I'm scad alum (masters in architecture) so I'm not some crazy college kid with pink hair and piercings everywhere. Pretty normal, relatively.

my cell phone # is ******** and I'm staying in Doraville, right by spaghetti junction. I can be up and ready at 7 am and I can even take turns driving if you want. Let me know what you decide and I will go ahead and tell my parents peace out!

So now we are friends on facebook. Maureen turned out to be a really cool chick with two beautiful kids, a 3 year old boy named Reed (a.k.a. Diego) and a 8 year old girl named Ridley. I watched cartoons and movies on the DVD player in the car with the kids and talked about homebirthing with Maureen (she did solo homebirths for her brood). It was actually a really pleasant drive and we enjoyed each other's company. Her kids were "in showbizness" cause they were going to savannah to be in a SCAD thesis film. The little boy was really happy go lucky and bright as a star. He liked to watch the cartoon Diego (like Dora the explorer, fyi) in spanish. The little girl was a bit ornary at being awakened on a saturday morning at 6 am to take a 4 hour car ride. Before even leaving atlanta she was asking if we were there yet. But she was adorable and sweet, too. She would touch the back of my elbow with her big toe from the backseat.

The whole thing just made my desire to have kids flare up and we even talked about that. Her advice was to "just do it". heh. alot easier to say than do. Anyways, we had lunch at sentient bean coffeeshop at forsyth park and then went our separate ways. I'll miss my 4 hour friend.

But once I got into the car with johnny, I felt 100% better. I realized that I felt more at home in savannah and beaufort than I did in atlanta, and how weird that was because I used to hate savannah. When we got home, the dogs were naturally really happy to see me and I got kisses all around. I noticed smooshie was not in the horde of dogs attacking me, so I called out for him and I heard him start his happy whining and crash through the doggie door, nails all slipping on the linoleum. I guess he was outside, but once he realized who was standing before him, he became frantic to find a toy to pick up and offer to me (he always greets bearing gifts). It was the best feeling in the world. I noticed immediatey that his nose had changed to a light pink color.

When I find my damn camera cord, I'll be uploading a ton of new pictures.

there... and back again.

we were gonna move. but at the last minute, we decided it wasn't the right time. so we just visited beaufort - again. and for just a week, but it feels like longer. it's hard to get on the internet out there! by now, the dogs are used to driving for hours, eating meals in the car, playing at rest stops and staying at their cousin's house. it's like a traumatic childhood, huh?

we are still moving, though. we just needed more time to see how things played out. living day-to-day. it's hard to make decisions when you have so many options but so very little resources. it's like the toughest game of chess you ever played - with your future at stake. what's ironic is that i feel more in my element now than i did when things were stable. i'm used to moving around, temporary living arrangements and traveling. it makes me wonder if i am even well-suited to the american dream lifestyle of living in a house with a new car, 2 kids and a dog. i think i might have been a nomadic mongoloid in a past life. i dont mind the idea of living in a yurt and living off the land actually. ok, snap back to reality.

we are also still getting married. neither one of us has chickened out yet, so that must mean something! Except now we have to pay for everything ourselves and the theme of my wedding went from beach to bohemian over the course of the last couple weeks. i found a dress to wear for $49 from a store in the mall. i'm going to keep it a surprise from johnny but i can tell you that it's a cute dress. not a wedding dress in the slightest, though. kim was dissappointed - she wants there to be more lace and silk and ruffles. she wants shoe-dress-hair coordination going on and i don't even plan on bothering with shoes. like i said before, i just want my guests to be there, food and drink, and someplace for us to sleep (even if it's under the stars in the sand). i'm pretty excited, i think it's going to be the best day of my life.

johnny's dad is doing much better. he's got his own room on the 7th floor and he can talk. maybe he'll be well enough to come to the wedding, but i'm not going to count on it. i'm just happy he's still with us.

gettin' hitched - plan A

smooshie's first outdoor sleepover. he's scared witless. 03/10/05

our wedding is coming up real fast, and even though we've got so much crap going on in our lives, i am not stressin' my wedding day plans at all. the only thing i'm concerned with is getting the beachhouse paid for and making sure everyone has food to eat. that's it. i don't give a flyin' shit about anything else. i don't care what people wear, what i'm gonna wear, what colors we are going to decorate with or anything like that. mother nature is going to provide the lighting, the venue and there's no way i can top that with some silly streamers.

we decided to have our wedding on Hunting Island for many reasons - first of all, we love that place. it has a lot of good memories for us, going to the beach and camping out. i'll never forget the time i took shai and jess and syrus (he was our only dog back then) camping out there with johnny. we drove all the way to the campsite and got there just in time to use the last hour of sunlight to set up camp. we got everything out and was trying to quickly put the tent together only to realize that someone forgot to pack the damn tent supports. johnny had to drive all the way back into town to buy us a new tent at wal-mart. meanwhile, shai, jess and i built a campfire and waited in the near-dark. syrus was so scared out of his wits (he had never spent the night outside before) he wouldn't leave the circle of light thrown by our campfire. nearly caught his tail on fire. it was hilarious. we cooked sausages on the fire and syrus toughened up a little bit to protect the sausages.

Hunting Island is also really close to johnny's family. they all live in beaufort which is a short drive from the island. savannah is only an hour away so a lot of my friends from college can come to the wedding. Hunting Island is also the most beautiful place on the east coast, in my opinion.

there won't be very many people at the wedding, mostly close friends and family. i don't expect much more than 40 people to show up. my sis and her kids will be there. hopefully shai will be there (she's coming from india!). of course, kim's gonna be there. most of johnny's family will be there, too. my real father will be there as well.



i rented out a pavilion right next to the beautiful light house. it's a small pavilion and i'm only going to decorate it with some twinkling lights in the rafters. i'm going to serve normal food, not lttle puff pastries filled with foi gras or some shit like that. we'll have carolina bbq and maybe some pita pit food :) if all goes well, we might even have live music provided by johnny's nephew david. he plays drums. the pavilion is just steps away from the beach, where we will have our ceremony. we don't have a pastor or reverend or anything like that. our good friends vanessa and andrew will be marrying us, and i can't think of anything better than that.

these are the days of our lives....

sometimes my life feels like a soap opera. my mom is definitely a soap opera character. she's very proud, commanding, manipulative, and sometimes just plain crazy. one day she's happy, sweet, and fun to be around. the next day she's stabbing you in the back with an ice pick and watching while you beg for mercy. my stepfather, on the other hand, is her complete opposite. he's very meek and kind of simple-minded. he wouldn't dare talk back to my mom. naturally, she walks all over him. she's got him by the balls and he's pretty much her slave. at any given time of the year, family members from my mom's side of the family are quarelling. right now, my uncle and youngest aunt are not speaking to my mother. neither am i. my sister managed to escape the drama that is our family and moved to texas.

i wont air all our family's dirty laundry, not because i care but because it's just too much shit to write down. let's just say we got some serious history. especially me and my mom. our relationship is, to say the least, contentious.

we have had knock-down drag out fights in public places, screaming matches during family gatherings, and serious amounts of time not talking to each other. the funny thing is, out of all the people in our family, my mother and i are the closest. only because i'm the only person who has been able to put up with her shit and defend myself. it's really sad because i'm sure that we aren't really as close as a normal mother and daughter.

regardless of all the stuff that has happened between us, i always end up coming back to my mom. it's a very masochistic habit that i totally recognize but can't break. she's my mother. i kinda hoped that she would love me unconditionally and be there for me when i needed her. unfortunately, those are the last two things my mother does - love unconditionally and be there for me. whenever i got into trouble, i had to turn to everyone else but my mom. she would never help me out of any situation or sympathize with me. her advice to me was always tough it out.

well, i believe that we have finally reached the last straw.

when i told my mom that johnny and i were going to get married this october, she was not happy at all. she told me she was disappointed in me. that we would never get anywhere together and our future is not going to be happy. i wasn't prepared for this reaction, so i couldn't really say anything. i couldn't believe what i was hearing. but it all makes sense. me marrying johnny just doesn't fit into her grand scheme of things. she wants me to get licensed, start a firm and basically be her in-house architect. kinda like she has her own personal assistant and aesthetician and lawyer and doctor. she knows that if i marry johnny, i might just decide to get pregnant and have a family and ditch my career. well, she's absolutely right.

what she said to me hurt me pretty bad. it felt like a cold knife in the heart. i expected her to take over my wedding planning but now she might not even attend our wedding. i am pretty sad that she's taking this route, but in a way i should have expected it. she did this to my sister. i almost forgot how hard she tried to get paula to leave bobby. i forgot how hard it was for paula to tell mom that she was pregnant again. why does our mom have to be like that? paula is happily married with two beautiful kids. i'm pretty sure i will be, too.

so, johnny and i decided that we want to be happy and surround ourselves with family and friends we love. there's nothing keeping us in atlanta. we are coastal small town folk. we like our funky smelling air and sand in everything. we like south carolina barbeque and big open skies. we are moving back to the coast - savannah. we'll be close to beaufort and it's a place where i would like to have kids. our dogs love the beach and so do we.

our wedding is october 18, 2008 on hunting island beach. it's going to be a very small wedding.

the wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!

the dogs have gotten quite used to riding in the car. actually, they kinda love it. all of them like to stick their heads out the window. bibi likes to sit up front, lean her right arm out of the window and rest her paw on the side mirror (which she ended up breaking off). syrus balances himself by propping up a back leg against the seat. louie just sits like a little kid and stares out of the window.

syrus is very alert in the car. he can recognize where he is going when he sees the following landmarks: McDonald's = cheeseburger. winding road through neighborhood = lake. horse farm = uncle jimmy's house in beaufort. short drive through beaufort = beach. speed humps = home. talmadge bridge = auntie kim's in savannah. he gets all excited and starts whining and jumping all over the place. it's really entertaining.

what is love? baby don't hurt me...

it's especially hard right now to be optimistic, have motivation, or be certain of anything. when times get tough i only have to look at my goofy dogs or my sweet soon-to-be hubby and i feel a million times better. i know i have to be strong for them and i know they are there for me. that's the kind of love i would rather have than copious amounts of money or fame or hot men chasing after me. this is the fundamental difference between my mother and i. she looks at life as if it were a chess game, each move carefully strategized in a campaign to win (or in her case, rule the world). it's such a painfully archaic way of thinking that i don't feel mad at her so much as sorry for her. she obviously has always felt it necessary to outthink her opponents, to live life with the sole intention of success; never able to just let things happen naturally. she fights the very concept of time and aging. to me, it's a losing battle. it's a waste of precious time you could spend being happy and loved.

my mom truly believes that a successful career and an elitist, white collar husband is the only path to happiness for me. what i've always tried to explain to her is that i'd rather live in a tent with my 3 dogs and the love of my life than live in a mansion with some stranger i despise.

i don't blame her for wanting me to be secure but what is security? what is insecurity? i've been poor, i've been rich. i've been completely alone and i've been surrounded. none of those things lasted very long but one thing constant: johnny. to me, that's security.

i feel bad for my mom but i think that's all part of her strategy, too. i've spent so much time trying to make her proud, make her happy and no time working on my own pride and happiness. i can truthfully say that everything i have done has been for her and yet i still can't bring myself to leave her to make my own life. i don't need her approval and i don't need her support. so, even though it's going to hurt both of us, i have to go. i can't live my life with my mom in it, unfortunately. god knows i have tried.

to be continued...

ugh. life's a beeotch.

since i don't want to sound like a big pity party wagon, i'm gonna just let it out. johnny lost his new job because he had to leave in the middle of training to see his father in the hospital. they basically told him not to come back, which was quite frankly, an insult and a big blow to us. we are both still unemployed and johnny is dealing with so much crap right now it's hard to handle when stuff like this happens. it's hard to know how to react, what to think... then, news of our wedding got leaked to the korean community (i can't believe kiera has broken the sacred oath of the pinky swear....) and my mom's aesthetician (yes, she rolls like that) called to inform me of potential shit hitting fan. she said now everyone wants to come to my wedding and keep asking questions about it. i had no choice but to call my mom and tell her about it before she found out from the korean newspaper. her reaction was not exactly what i was expecting. i was expecting her to take over the planning but instead she said she was very disappointed in my decision since we were both unemployed and we have no security. she mentioned several times that this was a mistake. the conversation just went further and further downhill and finally it was over. needless to say, i'm not happy about the way the conversation went down. i would write more but i have very limited access to the internet so i gotta go. yeah, it sucks. but things will get better, and i have optimism.

bittersweet vacation

it's been really quiet around my blog lately and that's because a lot has happened. our dear friends have packed up and moved back to the west coast. we've been spending every spare moment hanging out with them and their baby. they wanted to see the sunrise over the atlantic and visit savannah before leaving the east coast. so we all drove down to savannah and beaufort, which is only 40 minutes from savannah. johnny and i brought all of our dogs with us and stayed at his old house in beaufort. as soon as we got into town around 7 pm, we went straight to the beach to let the dogs run around. our friends arrived much later, and stayed in a motel near us. at 5 am the next morning we all drove to the beach (only 2 miles from motel) and watched the sun rise. we collected shells and shark's teeth and did a little bit of yoga. it was nice, and we enjoyed each other's company.

we then drove to savannah and spent the entire day walking around forsyth park and hanging out with my best buddy, kim. they got to see all the big old oak trees with moss hanging, had a light lunch at the coffee house sentient bean and hung out with some interesting roommates that i didn't know kim had. it was a blast. we had a lot of fun but at the same time it was a little sad. we made some really great last minute memories and i'll cherish them. we then walked around city market and had some of the best gelato ever. they had a fig and ricotta flavor that was to die for. i bought myself an art print of a painting called "the invitation" by grant nelson who does really beautiful tesselated paintings. i've wanted one for a long time...

last, we had sushi dinner at our old favorite japanese restaurant on broughton st. called sakura. we had excellent meals and good service (our waitstaff was hot!). then we drove back to beaufort and said goodbye to our friends who were leaving early in the morning. i really really miss them. they are such awesome people.

i spent the next day hanging out with my homefry kim, who i haven't hung out with in a while. i realized how much i missed her, too. johnny fixed her car (he's always got work to do with me around!) and at the same time recieved some really good news! he is now gainfully employed and landed the competitive position of regional sales manager for a multinational printing franchise. it's a great job with excellent benefits but he'll be travelling all over the southeast and has to go to new york on the 28th for 2 1/2 weeks! he's all professional businessman now, so we have to go out and get him some new clothes and travel stuff. i am so proud and happy for him! i'm going to miss him when he goes to new york, but we plan to spend the time apart to concentrate on improving our health by sticking to a strict regimen of diet and exercise. i want to lose as much weight as possible for when he gets back.

so yeah, i'm cramming in 2 weeks worth of blogging in one day but hey, it's better than nothing! i have tons more pictures but i still have to upload them. i'll come back and insert pictures as i get them, so come back again in a few days. glad to be home, excited for what's coming next and can't wait to see my friends again :)

doggies in paradise

while johnny and i were saying farewell to our good friends and having reunions with other friends and family, the dogs were on vacation. they got to hang out with three other dogs and go to the beach all week. johnny's brother jimmy adopted a german shepherd mix named jake and of course took darla when we needed to find a new home for her. he also took on an aging family member's dog - a 10 year old female mutt named shadow. at first the dogs were standoffish but they became pretty good friends soon enough. jake is very timid and shy and darla is still that annoyingly excited non-stop licking jumpy pup. shadow is the older, slower, less amused one who just sort of lays around the house.

when we arrived into beaufort, we went straight to the sands, our favorite beach spot. we let the dogs out and luckily it was high tide. bibi was beside herself with excitement and syrus went straight into the marsh looking for goodies. louie was blissfully unaware of the difference between beach (ocean) and park (lake). he jumped right into the water, not expecting it to be very deep or salty or have a current. but he took to it right away.

it was so beautiful. i truly love the sands at port royal. it's like your backyard beach where you can go anytime for some fresh air, softly crashing waves and the sharp cries of seagulls. the sand is a powdery white and the water is a clear blue. the marsh grasses are a brilliant bright green and it's all layered in a soothing pattern - the white fluffy sky, the clear blue sky, the deep blue water, the bright green grass, and the white sandy shore. during the day you can see for miles all around and at night the sky surrounds you like a black blanket with twinkling stars. it's heaven.

well, now the dogs are thoroughly depressed to be back home. all they do is sulk and mope around the house, thinking about how boring it is around here...

princess pei pei

sweet pink baby toes and soft juicy baby cheeks. om nom nom nom... i stocked up on nibbling the baby the last few days before her family packed up the vw and drove across the country back to the west coast. penelope has grown into a happy chubby little baby that you just want to squeeze and nibble all over. she has the cutest toothless grin that lights up her face and makes her cute little dimples show. it takes incredible self-constraint not to just grab the baby and lick her from head to toe like a mama cat. everyone took about a million pictures of this baby in the last couple of weeks and now i just have to show them off. my friend kim is a total paparazzi and took some awesome pictures that she IS going to upload soon. it's sad but exciting to think that the next time i see princess pei pei she will be so much bigger. this kid is so loved and is going to have such a wonderful life. she got to see the sunrise on the east coast with us. it was a beautiful morning on the beach in beaufort and we found all kinds of sharks teeth. the very first tooth i found was an inch long! i should have taken a picture but i gave it to penelope because she needs a bad ass shark's tooth necklace to go with her spear. i'm going to miss her!

do dogs enjoy music?

i'm listening to some fabulous flamenco music on Pandora (i loooove pandora) and doing some work on my computer and i noticed that the dogs are here next to me passed out completely on the floor. i know they seem to always gravitate to where ever i might be in the house but usually it's just one or two of the dogs, and right now i am noticing every dog (including our step-dog nadia) is in my office - sleeping contentedly.

this is the only pic of nadia i have right now.... she's a little monster :)

this is unusual because our dogs are hyperactive little shits and usually somedog is chewing, ripping, running, jumping, or barking. right now they are so cute and peaceful, snoring softly on the down comforter they dragged out of my bedroom. nadia and bibi's ears ae sticking straight up and louie passes gas every so often. syrus sometimes growls a bit in his sleep. nadia has one leg draped over louie. i wish i had a camera.

it must be the music because i'm a little drowsy myself... i think flamenco is my new favorite music to work to. it's very relaxing yet motivating. so far i really like Paco de Lucia, Rodrigo Y Gabriela, and Jaleo. i really think the dogs like flamenco, too.

in other unrelated news, i got my first bunny bite today at the feed store. he was a cute little bastard but he bit the heck out of my finger and made me bleed. johnny was laughing at me cause at first i was all like, aaawwww - canihavacutebunny pleeeeeze? then post-attack i was all, i'm gonna feed you to my other bunny you little *&%#$!

rainbows

it's been pretty warm and dry in georgia lately - although not nearly as bad as it was this time last year. we are still in a drought but we seem to be getting rain more often. yesterday was a strange weather day. it was bright and sunny all day then around 6pm it got really dark and cloudy and it poured for about 10 minutes. the whole time johnny and i were stuck at another chamber of commerce shindig for my mom, but we got to witness the best part of it all. as we left the building, we noticed a vibrant rainbow right in front of us. then we realized holy crap - we can see the whole thing! it was truly a magnificent rainbow. then i saw another rainbow on top of the first one - like a double rainbow. we could see the whole thing so clearly, it was just beautiful. i wish i had a camera at that moment, but johnny and i watched the rainbow the whole way home because it seemed to follow us. we even saw it clearly from the highway. as we got closer to home, we noticed that the end of the rainbow seemed to be right over our neighborhood. in fact, the end of the rainbow seemed to be right over our house....

sometimes it's hard not to believe in god cause there are just some things quite unexplainable. i can't imagine what better sign from the heavens than a beautiful rainbow leading the way home. it made me happy to think we already have a pot of gold.

on the other hand, johnny pointed out, someone might have already followed that rainbow and is ransacking our house.....

the big 3-0

today is my 30th birthday.

it's weird but i always considered 30 to be the age where you HAVE to grow up. i kinda lumped the 20's in with the teenage years and 30 is the official milestone into adulthood. wow, was i ever wrong. i've been an adult since i was a kid. now that i am an adult, i am more like a kid. i think "adultness" is way over-rated. i still want to have fun and do silly things. i seem to be way more into it than i was as a child. i mourned the idea of turning 30 because i had given myself a deadline and that was my first mistake. i'm re-connecting with the things i missed as a kid and i love it. i want to see and do and learn and play with enthusiasm because i want my kids to have a childhood like an adventure. how can i give them that if i can't recognize it myself? so now, my 30's is going to be all about happiness - what it takes to be happy and going there. i learned my lessons the hard way in my 20's and now i think it's time to reap some rewards.

my firends have come to visit me. i even had some old firneds i haven't seen in a while visit... it is nice to see them again. we went for a hike around the lake this morning and had indian buffet for lunch. we took naps and played with babies and puppies. i'd say that's a happy day!

RIP stewie.

we had to kill one of our cockerels this weekend. he was not doing so well. his butt turned black and he wasn't as interested in eating as before. we knew he was sick so johnny got to kill his first chicken. i didn't feel that bad cause it was a mercy killing but still - it was a little sad.

as for the remaining 8, they are on borrowed time. those little *&^%# destroyed my garden by roosting in my squash and pecking everything else to death. that's ok, though. i'm learning.

and yet - no eggs.

but i am happier than normal because i have managed to take a big step in personal improvement and started an exercise regimen with B that we have stuck to pretty well. i live in a beautiful neighborhood with lots of hills, some of them pretty steep and for about 45 mins, B and I walk around the neighborhood. lately, it's been a bit tougher cause of the humid heat, but we still do it. it feels quite good afterwards, too. i'm a little proud of myself by exceeding my doc's recommendation of exercising for 30 mins. 5 times a week. we've been walking nearly everyday.

i am a little worried about this heat, though. our utilities are going to be really high at this rate. plus, we are still in a drought. and the price of gas is really hurting. time to up the ante and make myself healthier, stronger, more frugal, and more thankful.

atlanta botanical garden

last weekend a good friend and i visited the gorgeous atlanta botanical garden and took these marvelous pictures... i really can't add much commentary to these pictures so i'll let them speak for themselves... enjoy! :)

i do have to say this little guy is so green and cute! i love lizards. he almost looks like a baby iguana but he's just a little garden lizard. he sat there for a second eyeing me but let me take his picture before scampering off!

there were a bunch of moving sculptures around the botanical garden, this being one of them. we didn't take a whole bunch of pictures for some reason, but i really love the look of rock gardens...

isn't this orchid gorgeous? the orchid display was my second favorite - right behind the rainforest exhibit. you'll see why...

isn't this just breathtaking? well, i guess you'd have to be there in person to really appreciate it. those are roots hanging down from the really high ceiling above in this rainforest greenhouse. the roots hung almost to the ground, you have to walk through them and it's fantastic!

and finally, the piece de resistance! this absolutely gorgeous blown glass sculpture by artist Dale Chihuly is on display in the green house, and it's truly magnificent. this guy is awesome.

pictures of paradise

well, the fence didn't last long as an effective barrier. the chickens have decided that the grass is far better on the other side. B and i must have chased the chickens from going into the street 3 times. once they were actually all hanging out right in the front lawn! the chickens can literally walk right through the fence. so a new project for this weekend will be reinforcing the chicken barrier.

we also realized that 9 chickens should not go through 40 lbs. of feed in one week. they are getting really big fast and eating a LOT. i'm afraid jerky is going to be sunday roast pretty soon. i liked the little guy - he follows me around the most. maybe we'll eat one of the smaller ones instead...

From SPRING 2008

it's been a long time since johnny and i were up at dry pond. it's a little piece of paradise with all the plants and ponds. the dogs just love running at top speed in the fields and lounging in the lush grass under the pecan tree. even the weeds at dry pond are awesome and beautiful. my mom's koi fish are friendly - they will eat pellets out of your hand. you can actually pet them. my friend was just fascinated with the koi so she wanted to bring her new baby and i wanted to show off my mom's crazy landscaping obsession to B. we also planned to fish in my mom's lake not far from dry pond. as soon as we got there, the dogs were out running and me, johnny, and B walked to the far edge of the property picking wildflowers and watching the dogs play.

From SPRING 2008

it wasn't long before we heard the splash. bibi found the spring and soon all three of them were splashing around in the stinky mud. i was busy snapping pictures of weeds. we came back to the lawn and played in the pecan tree. syrus had to prune it, first. B had to climb up and syrus even climbed up the tree! bibi wanted too, but she can't. ahhh... fresh air. sun. birds chirping. trees.





i have no clue what's in this bouquet, but it's pretty and i gave it to my mom :)



look at the size of this weed! it's huge! it had big, fat, furry leaves.



the berries on this bush look delicious. i wonder if they are edible?



according to johnny, they are not.



let's go bananas!



water lillies are so photogenic, aren't they?



B is practising cartwheels. you just can't resist doing a cartwheel on a lawn like this.



syrus went right to work. look at him in the tree!





B monkeyin' around...

now we come to the lake adventure. my mom had a bunch of her korean friends and their families over for a picnic and some fishing. the funny thing is, the only one who caught fish (besides my mom of course) was V's vegetarian husband, who promptly threw his fish back into the lake. Kiera (pictured below with my momma) almost jumped into the lake after the fish. she just couldn't believe why he would do something like that. so, to make up for it, he caught her a bigger fish.





did you notice that my mom is wearing two sun visors? she is ALWAYS wearing a visor, making her look like a perpetual tourist. the worst thing is, they are never plain visors. no, hers are always sparkly.

when we first arrived at the lake, i almost got the mazda stuck on a hill and almost tipped it into the lake. that was a little scary cause i don't think mazda mpv's were meant for bush hogging through thistle. the guys went through shoulder-high grass to try and find a suitable path to drive my mpv through but the weeds and grass were too thick. the dogs followed the guys and i guess louie didn't see the barbed wire fence and ran right into it....



we all got some minor boo-boos from being out in the wilderness (i found a tick on my thigh later that night!!) but poor louie got the biggest boo-boo of all - on his face, too. he heals fast, thankfully.



syrus and my mom look back at our camp from the boat on the lake.

so that was memorial day monday. it was a nice holiday and we remembered to thank the men and women who sacrificed their lives protecting our freedoms.



oh, i almost forgot - i joined blogcatalog and NaBloPoMo with the username seagrass. i still don't know how the hell to use twitter.

bloody monday

**warning, this content may not be suitable for the squeamish** (no chickens were involved)

oh, it was an eventful weekend. well, eventful for me - other "normal" people might consider it boring.... anyways, things were going great once friday was over. it was a long weekend ahead of us and everyone was happy. we decided to go visit dry pond for some fresh air and beautiful scenery and fishing. we wanted to spend the night but that didn't work out so we spent all of monday at dry pond and my mom's lake (unnamed so far...). we made it a priority this weekend to clean the house. in an effort to run a more effecient household, we have all agreed on setting some goals for the house, and ourselves. i obviously need help in this department cause it's hard for only one person to organize and keep up what's going on. so i started a fridge inventory to keep a running tab on its contents and monitor spending and waste. i will be coming up with a cleaning schedule to help keep my very messy house somewhat under control. and B and V and i are resolving to lose some weight with exercise and diet - all of us together. i really really hope it works. unfortunately, it may mean i have to wear a bathing suit. ugh.

anyways, back to bloody monday. i guess you could also call it... yesterday. i woke up around 6:45 and let the chickens out and fed and watered them. i let the dogs out and sat outside a little bit. nobody else was awake. so i went back to bed and must have fell asleep because i missed the commotion. when i woke back up about 9:30, B was in the kitchen cleaning. i was impressed that she woke up and cleaned and she informed me that the dogs caught a possum and ate it in the kitchen (or dining room, depending on what side of the fridge you are standing). she spared me the anguish of cleaning up blood and guts and threw what remained of the poor creature on the bramble pile to be picked up by refuse. i felt so bad for the thing - it was just eating my chicken feed! somehow it must have wandered into the backyard right into the waiting jaws of three large dogs. B was right, there's no way i could have cleaned up that mess without losing my cookies.



then i remembered that earlier that morning i saw choco in the side yard carrying a rather large (dead) frog in his little mouth and eating it by the curb. i watched him chew off a leg and bite the frog several times. it didn't bother me, but when i went back to that spot i noticed the frog was still alive! and minus two back legs! it was a sad, sad, situation. i felt horrible for this pretty frog but i can hardly scold my cat for being a cat.



so, i made johnny move the frog from the curb over to my mother's backyard where hopefully some frog deity will have mercy on it and let him re-grow his legs. more than likely it will die, but i chose to believe there are frog deities. fairies, even. so that was bloody monday (morning). a lot more happened that day which i will probably have to continue in another post later. it was a beautiful weekend, hanging out with awesome people and animals. we put up a small wire fence to help keep the chickens from wandering onto the street. it's working so far. i am amazed that they seem to know where their home is. they stay close, so i let them roam all day. they mostly peck and scratch around or sit in the monkey grass or the straw pile. last night they even tucked themselves in bed! i was being lazy and didn't herd them into their coop and when i finally went out, they were already inside, sleeping! awesome!

i told you guys i was going to be the next georgia o'keefe! the magnolia tree in front of my porch is blooming! you can sit there and smell the scent of magnolia perfume the air - and enjoy the beautiful view as well!



our weekend was fun and productive! like i said, we resolved to gain control over the household so we busted ass and did a lot of cleaning. johnny did a lion's share of the landscaping, but look at the beautiousness of the porch now!!!

From SPRING 2008

we mulched the hibiscus with this really dark bark-y mulch, and put down a weed cloth under the pea gravel. we edged along both sides and johnny re-wired the landscape lights. B and i planted the marigolds and the lilies are growing happily. i moved all my herbs over to the greenhouse roof so we can still enjoy them from the porch but they are out of the way.

i also tackled the gargantuan task of cleaning out my closet. i thinned out my wardrobe and gave away a whole bunch of clothes i don't wear (or fit into) anymore. i made enough room for johnny's clothes by packing away our winter clothes under the bed. now we can share a closet! now all we have to do is organize and sort the sheets and blankets. since louie decided to take a shit in the bathtub the other night, B also scrubbed the bathroom down with some brand-new environmentally conscious cleaning products from target called "le scrub" by method. i like it.