one big ass nutshell

yes i know i totally abandoned my blog for several months. it seems like the last thing i wanted to do was write. i still don't really feel like writing but i guess i have to. its the purpose of this blog. and also... some crazy shit be happenin' in my life right now and i got to put it down somehow.

there's absolutely no way i could write about it all. none whatsoever..so i'm just going to paraphrase - alot.

the last time i posted i believe suejin was still pregnant, i hadn't left the country yet, and well...lets just try to start from the beginning, oh about mid-february-ish.

my mom and i went to europe. it was kind of a last minute arrangement and my ticket was paid for with skymiles. i didn't want to go because mainly, i thought i was going to have to deliver suejin's baby in the apartment myself. why? because she couldn't get medicaid without flying to hawaii for a stupid piece of paper. onbiously, she didn't have that kind of time left. not to mention money. so, trying not to panick, we came up with a new birthing plan - got to the ER. so we drove past the hospital nearest the house so we would know exactly where to go when the time came. however, my mother doesn't take no for an answer very well. she went ahead and got my ticket and then acted all surprised when i said, "i told you i can't go!"

the europtrip in and of itself could have been a movie - or at least a 1 hour episode... anyways mom screwed up and got us stranded in Paris with no luggage. well - sorta. she thought we were supposed to spend one night in paris before heading to florence (we were going to florence to meet some distantly related Om family member who was a chef at some fancy hotel - to recruit him). so we got off the plane at Charles de Galle aeroport and went to baggage claim. except our bags were on the connecting flight to florence at that point.

the airport scene is one to remember because my mother knows how to make a scene in public. and this is why i believe in karma and that the universe does have a sense of humor because as my mother was making a scene in the airport, a friend of mine posted this video on facebook.

we finally make it to florence, stay in this absolutely gorgeous hotel, met our distant relative who is a chef, did some fabulous shopping, came across a carnivale celebration in the streets, and then returned to paris (unfortunately) for one more night then went back home. a few days before i got back home suejin had her baby in the hospital. a daughter she named aubrey.

then, shortly after getting back from europe, kim and i get into a hugegantic fight. then me and johnny get into a fight. for some reason i decided to stop taking my happy pills during all this, and while at the height of withdrawal and everyone's all mad at each other, johnny's father passed away and i was so out of it i didn't know how to act. i felt like i was constantly on a boat in the high seas. i was just plain pissed off all the time and going nuts. then out of nowhere i get a phone call from my neice who was crying and the first thing that came to my mind was something terrible happened to my younger niece rena.

instead, my sister gets on the phone and informs me that our older sister, and my mom's eldest daughter, has found us. yes, she found us. my mother's pre-dying wish came true. the one thing she wanted before she died was to see her long-lost daughter again. my mother and my aunt have both asked me to look for her (and obviously i was very interested in finding her as well) but i didn't have any information to go on. all i knew is she was born in korea, around some general date, her name was something like suzanne and she was adopted by a caucasion couple from america. i contacting some adoption agencies but had no luck. i really didn't expect to ever find her. we knew nothing.

so, me and my sis both start crying and johnny and i had just started cleaning the house and now all of a sudden i'm crying on the phone and he's wondering wtf just happened.... mostly, i just couldn't believe it. i was so happy i couldn't believe it. the only thing was, mom didn't know yet. and we couldn't get in touch with her!

so the entire day mom was oblivious, gardening away at dry pond with her cell phone off and finally i get through to her and told her. she was completely shell shocked. mostly silent. i didn't know what else to say so i gave her Seujan's contact information and let her decide what to do. yes, my sister's name is Seujan..isn't that interesting? so from what i learned later, mom called suejan shortly after i told her. since then, we have all been talking to each other on the phone more often than we have in a long time.

this is Seujan, she is awesome. she looks just like my mom did. she is so much like us, from what we hear. she lives in seattle, washington (where my good buddies live!) and is a triathelete. she found us because she went to korea for a marathon and looked up her records and found her orphanage. she blogs, too. it's a crazy world we live in.

so, we are going to seattle to meet her. this friday, the 17th. me, my mom and johnny are all going to see her and our good friends we miss very very much. it happens to be Penelope's birthday and we did promise to come to her 1st birthday party.

mom is so very happy. it's going to be the most emotional moment of our lives. i know it may sound funny and its hard to explain but i love my sister even though we never met, and she didn't even know i existed until last week. she is a part of us, we areall uniquely bound even though we have been separated from each other. i think our lives are changed.

seaweed soup - meeyuk guk

this is a very nutritious and fulfilling korean soup that i always considered comfort food. it costs next to nothing to make and is very simple to cook. it's very tasty, despite what you may think..

 

first off, find your nearest asian food market and buy a package of dried seaweed. It will say seaweed somewhere on the package, anyways. it's hard to describe what it looks like, so here's a picture. it's quite cheap - this bag cost me $2.99 and there are several pots of soup that can be made from it. you will also need:

• toasted sesame oil
• olive oil
• fresh garlic
• chicken broth
• salt & pepper, to taste
  
• toasted sesame seeds, for garnish
• steamed rice, for side dish
  

 

 

you'll have to soak the seaweed before you can start cooking. use a big bowl and rip chunks of dried seaweed out of the package and pour plenty of room temperature water over them. set aside for 10 - 20 minutes. then, without touching the bottom of the bowl, gently swish the seaweed to loosen any sand and pluck the seaweed out of the bowl by the handful onto a strainer. gently press as much water out of the seaweed as possible and set aside.

on medium high heat, saute about 3 or 4 cloves of fresh minced garlic (depending on how much you like garlic) in a few tablespoons of olive oil. add the seaweed and keep saute-ing. the idea is to cook down the seaweed similar to spinach, until it is reduced and wilted a bit. this only takes a few minutes, make sure you keep stirring to avoid scorching the seaweed.

at this point you should add into the pot a few pinches of salt, and some freshly ground black pepper and a tablespoon of sesame oil. i had some leftover mushroom broth so i added about 2 cups of that for extra flavor. you could also saute a few pieces of beef for a heartier soup. my mother usually adds in dried anchovies. whatever you desire. once the seaweed is thuroughly cooked, add a carton of chicken stock and 2 cups of water. Bring to a boil then reduce to a simmer for about 20 minutes. that's it.

 

 

 it's best to eat the soup while it's hot. usually it is served with rice and a variety of side dishes (korean tapas, basically) like kimchi, anchovies, spicy pickles, bean sprouts stir-fry and maybe a fried fish. since we are poor and do not have a korean woman in the house, i just dump a bowl of rice right in the middle of the soup and eat it like that. don't forget to sprinkle the sesame seeds!

 

 

goin' down to chinatown

today was a good day. it started off sucky cause I couldn't sleep last night and then I finally went to sleep and ended up oversleeping. then i started to get an eye infection so i had to take out my contact lens. but soon it was time for suejin and i to go grocery shopping. we are on a very tight budget (about $180.00/month) on food for 4-5 people so we were a little worried about the food situation and like an answer from the cosmos we stopped at a light at the intersection of price st and henry st and had a fateful conversation. i always wondered what was inside the brick building that had a sign that said "chinatown grocery" on it. why? because it's the ONLY sign in savannah that even says chinatown, there's not a single asian person in sight because we are in the g-h-e-t-t-o. surely, it wasn't really a chinese grocery store - that would be....wierd. but for some reason i wanted to go check it out.

so we go inside and sure enough, it looks like a typical convenience store in the ghetto. but then... i found something that caught my eye. something so exciting that i almost thought my eyes were decieving me. there, at the front of the store was a big table with opened boxes full of - asian pastries!!! like the kind you get at mozarts - custard filled breads and sesame balls with red bean paste and even a hot dog stuffed bun! i was thrilled. so was suejin. we immediatly picked out some pastries for breakfast and continued looking around. in the back there was a meat counter and a petite asian woman doing something with her back turned to us. it wasn't a very busy store so i wasn't sure if the food was fresh but then i read some signs on the wall that said, "family specials". they had a meat deal where you could get 3 lbs of ground beef, 3 lbs of turkey wings, 3 lbs of turkey necks, 3 lbs of fish, 3 lbs of pork chops, 3 lbs of chicken thighs, 3 lbs of chicken drumsticks for $31.95. that's a lot of meat! we were wondering what we could make out of turkey necks and wings when the butcher came up and offered to give us extra chicken instead of the turkey. DEAL.

then out of nowhere an asian man tells us, there's more the back. so we go back there and it was like god smiled down upon us. it was a mini asian farmers market!! there were freezers full of rice cakes, squids, a produce section with persimmons and chestnuts and fresh ginger, a few aisles of asian canned goods like noodles, coconut milk and curries. every time we turned around a corner one of us was squealing with delight. suejin even found a shelf of asian cookies and yelled out, "LOOK, they have choco-pies!!"

we happily paid for our pastries and the wonderful butcher brought the boxof meat to our car. we were so happy. we had a month's worth of meat for $32. right now our freezer is packed to the gills.

we love chinatown.

random beautiful child

so johnny and i have been taking the dogs to a new dog park a lot recently and i honestly love this park because there's a large fenced in area and then a large field next to it with lush clover patches. today was such a beautiful day and the clovers were so green i laid down on the ground and snapped some photos. then out of nowhere a little girl shows up next to me and asks, "what are you doing?" and i replied, "taking pictures of the grass." without skipping a beat she asks me, "why?" and i had to kind of laugh because it was a good question. i said, "because it's so pretty." so she sits down next to me and looks at the grass and i asked her what her name was. she said her name is Beatrice.


she looked about 5 years old. I told her that i was also looking for a four leaf clover, because they are hard to find and they will bring me luck. so she settles in and starts looking for four leaf clovers. she was so cute, with bright red hair and freckles on her nose and cheeks. i couldn't help but take some photos of Beatrice.


she was a sweet girl and so innocent and precocious. her mother was sitting on a bench watching us and came over to chat. she said she was 47 years old and her daughter was 5. obviously a very much wanted and loved child! she helped me look for four leaves and picked a bouquet of clovers. i can't wait to have my own daughter!

she cooks!

i have a bunch of pics to show from the past couple days. but for now feast your eyes upon this!:


tonight's menu consisted of creamed spinach and ricotta filled pasta shells with a ground turkey meat sauce with melted mozzarella cheese. I used lots of garlic and for this meal my sous chef was Kim (normally it's johnny...) Since Kim can but doesn't cook, this was a remarkable occasion worthy of a photo shoot. Even though she was complaining the entire time, Kim can't pass up a chance to pose. we call this boobs 'n food:


this is the swish and flick: doesn't she look happy?

field peas and greens

johnny insists on his first meal of the year being field greens and peas and since i wasn't up to making some elaborate soup, i cheated a little bit and made him a spinach salad with garbanzo beans, black olives, onions, croutons, parmesan, mozarella & feta cheeses, grape tomatoes, sunflower seeds, mushrooms, bacon and italian dressing. it actually looks good but i don't think i can eat a hearty salad first thing in the morning.

thinking about my resolution

i think its very important for me to think carefully about my life and my future and make some resolutions towards my goals. maybe it's quiet around me to help with clarity so i should take advantage of it, right? for this week, i have very little i can do other than think. and plan. so for the next few days leading up to new year's, i will be contemplating the following areas of interest:

my physical health
my career
my future husband
my potential children
my geographical location(s)
my preferred lifestyle
my financial health

i feel like its very selfish to think all about me but i know i owe it to myself. i owe it to my family as well. i always have plans and goals but this time i really have to make some monumental changes and decisions towards my goals. i really can't afford to become distracted anymore. so, hopefully this week i will have the mental clarity and the willpower to make my resolutions come true.

not a very merry xmas

this year with all the crap that's going on, all the pressure we are under, all the stress we deal with everyday, johnny and i decided not to have christmas. beside the fact that we have zero money to spend on gifts or anything, we just wanted to be left the hell alone. even still johnny drove to beaufort to have xmas with his family just to make an appearance. i treated it just like any other day pretty much. i cooked and cleaned like i always do. but i didn't mind cause all the food came out great and the one guest we had over - emily, kim's old roomie - really enjoyed herself. so i guess i can honestly describe our christmas as laid back.

but it's pretty much safe to say i hate christmas. i am now officially the grinch. actually, i never really liked christmas that much as a kid, either. i hardly ever got what i wanted so i didn't bother making a list. when i got older i started getting some things i really wanted - mostly electronic gadgets from my mom (who i suspect was trying to make up for something). but more than anything i hated how people act around the holidays. it seems like people are either greedy, depressed, jealous, anxious, prideful, and self absorbed. i can't exactl exclude myself from those adjectives but i knew christmas was not a very good holiday. it seemed to bring out a lot of bad in people.

and it also stands to reason that since i don't believe in christ, i shouldn't be celebrating christmas. so i don't think i will celebrate christmas anymore. at least, not in it's modern "traditional" sense. yea, i like to decorate with christmas-y things. i like to bake cookies and make snowmen (theoretical snowmen, anyways), i like the general feel of christmas. but i hate the travelling, the obligation, the anxiety over gifts and family. so i'll take what i like and leave the rest.

what about our kids? are we robbing them of a happy childhood? if you really think your kids need christmas to have a happy childhood then you aren't doing a very good job. i think our kids will be very happy, and we will more than compensate for not brainwashing our children into thinking a fat man is going to give them presents. (no offense to fat men...)

so yeah. poo on christmas.

but we actually had a good time. i even got to make experimental peanut butter & jelly samosas.

pictures of life in the S-A-V

it's the end of december and we are sweating our boobies off in the dirty south...

bibi and louie decide it's too effin' hot out here too!

louie sniffs a palm rose.

there are about half a dozen people making palm roses in the park.

the fountain in forsyth park was all decked out for the holidays.

bibi window surfing on truman pkwy.

i shit thee not, this is a Wendy's on hilton head.

the chicken, potatoes & peas samosa filling we had for xmas.
'twas gooooood!

pppbbttttt! bibi says poo on xmas, too!

i miss pottery :(

i've been keeping an eye out for pottery wheels on craigslist but i can't even afford those. i wonder if there are manual wheels out there i can either make or buy... i just really miss playing with clay. making something useful - or maybe more interesting to look at than useful.