one big ass nutshell

yes i know i totally abandoned my blog for several months. it seems like the last thing i wanted to do was write. i still don't really feel like writing but i guess i have to. its the purpose of this blog. and also... some crazy shit be happenin' in my life right now and i got to put it down somehow.

there's absolutely no way i could write about it all. none whatsoever..so i'm just going to paraphrase - alot.

the last time i posted i believe suejin was still pregnant, i hadn't left the country yet, and well...lets just try to start from the beginning, oh about mid-february-ish.

my mom and i went to europe. it was kind of a last minute arrangement and my ticket was paid for with skymiles. i didn't want to go because mainly, i thought i was going to have to deliver suejin's baby in the apartment myself. why? because she couldn't get medicaid without flying to hawaii for a stupid piece of paper. onbiously, she didn't have that kind of time left. not to mention money. so, trying not to panick, we came up with a new birthing plan - got to the ER. so we drove past the hospital nearest the house so we would know exactly where to go when the time came. however, my mother doesn't take no for an answer very well. she went ahead and got my ticket and then acted all surprised when i said, "i told you i can't go!"

the europtrip in and of itself could have been a movie - or at least a 1 hour episode... anyways mom screwed up and got us stranded in Paris with no luggage. well - sorta. she thought we were supposed to spend one night in paris before heading to florence (we were going to florence to meet some distantly related Om family member who was a chef at some fancy hotel - to recruit him). so we got off the plane at Charles de Galle aeroport and went to baggage claim. except our bags were on the connecting flight to florence at that point.

the airport scene is one to remember because my mother knows how to make a scene in public. and this is why i believe in karma and that the universe does have a sense of humor because as my mother was making a scene in the airport, a friend of mine posted this video on facebook.

we finally make it to florence, stay in this absolutely gorgeous hotel, met our distant relative who is a chef, did some fabulous shopping, came across a carnivale celebration in the streets, and then returned to paris (unfortunately) for one more night then went back home. a few days before i got back home suejin had her baby in the hospital. a daughter she named aubrey.

then, shortly after getting back from europe, kim and i get into a hugegantic fight. then me and johnny get into a fight. for some reason i decided to stop taking my happy pills during all this, and while at the height of withdrawal and everyone's all mad at each other, johnny's father passed away and i was so out of it i didn't know how to act. i felt like i was constantly on a boat in the high seas. i was just plain pissed off all the time and going nuts. then out of nowhere i get a phone call from my neice who was crying and the first thing that came to my mind was something terrible happened to my younger niece rena.

instead, my sister gets on the phone and informs me that our older sister, and my mom's eldest daughter, has found us. yes, she found us. my mother's pre-dying wish came true. the one thing she wanted before she died was to see her long-lost daughter again. my mother and my aunt have both asked me to look for her (and obviously i was very interested in finding her as well) but i didn't have any information to go on. all i knew is she was born in korea, around some general date, her name was something like suzanne and she was adopted by a caucasion couple from america. i contacting some adoption agencies but had no luck. i really didn't expect to ever find her. we knew nothing.

so, me and my sis both start crying and johnny and i had just started cleaning the house and now all of a sudden i'm crying on the phone and he's wondering wtf just happened.... mostly, i just couldn't believe it. i was so happy i couldn't believe it. the only thing was, mom didn't know yet. and we couldn't get in touch with her!

so the entire day mom was oblivious, gardening away at dry pond with her cell phone off and finally i get through to her and told her. she was completely shell shocked. mostly silent. i didn't know what else to say so i gave her Seujan's contact information and let her decide what to do. yes, my sister's name is Seujan..isn't that interesting? so from what i learned later, mom called suejan shortly after i told her. since then, we have all been talking to each other on the phone more often than we have in a long time.

this is Seujan, she is awesome. she looks just like my mom did. she is so much like us, from what we hear. she lives in seattle, washington (where my good buddies live!) and is a triathelete. she found us because she went to korea for a marathon and looked up her records and found her orphanage. she blogs, too. it's a crazy world we live in.

so, we are going to seattle to meet her. this friday, the 17th. me, my mom and johnny are all going to see her and our good friends we miss very very much. it happens to be Penelope's birthday and we did promise to come to her 1st birthday party.

mom is so very happy. it's going to be the most emotional moment of our lives. i know it may sound funny and its hard to explain but i love my sister even though we never met, and she didn't even know i existed until last week. she is a part of us, we areall uniquely bound even though we have been separated from each other. i think our lives are changed.