I'd rather be milking a cow

one big ass nutshell

2009-04-12T22:26:00.000-04:00

yes i know i totally abandoned my blog for several months. it seems like the last thing i wanted to do was write. i still don't really feel like writing but i guess i have to. its the purpose of this blog. and also... some crazy shit be happenin' in my life right now and i got to put it down somehow.

there's absolutely no way i could write about it all. none whatsoever..so i'm just going to paraphrase - alot.

the last time i posted i believe suejin was still pregnant, i hadn't left the country yet, and well...lets just try to start from the beginning, oh about mid-february-ish.

my mom and i went to europe. it was kind of a last minute arrangement and my ticket was paid for with skymiles. i didn't want to go because mainly, i thought i was going to have to deliver suejin's baby in the apartment myself. why? because she couldn't get medicaid without flying to hawaii for a stupid piece of paper. onbiously, she didn't have that kind of time left. not to mention money. so, trying not to panick, we came up with a new birthing plan - got to the ER. so we drove past the hospital nearest the house so we would know exactly where to go when the time came. however, my mother doesn't take no for an answer very well. she went ahead and got my ticket and then acted all surprised when i said, "i told you i can't go!"

the europtrip in and of itself could have been a movie - or at least a 1 hour episode... anyways mom screwed up and got us stranded in Paris with no luggage. well - sorta. she thought we were supposed to spend one night in paris before heading to florence (we were going to florence to meet some distantly related Om family member who was a chef at some fancy hotel - to recruit him). so we got off the plane at Charles de Galle aeroport and went to baggage claim. except our bags were on the connecting flight to florence at that point.

the airport scene is one to remember because my mother knows how to make a scene in public. and this is why i believe in karma and that the universe does have a sense of humor because as my mother was making a scene in the airport, a friend of mine posted this video on facebook.

we finally make it to florence, stay in this absolutely gorgeous hotel, met our distant relative who is a chef, did some fabulous shopping, came across a carnivale celebration in the streets, and then returned to paris (unfortunately) for one more night then went back home. a few days before i got back home suejin had her baby in the hospital. a daughter she named aubrey.

then, shortly after getting back from europe, kim and i get into a hugegantic fight. then me and johnny get into a fight. for some reason i decided to stop taking my happy pills during all this, and while at the height of withdrawal and everyone's all mad at each other, johnny's father passed away and i was so out of it i didn't know how to act. i felt like i was constantly on a boat in the high seas. i was just plain pissed off all the time and going nuts. then out of nowhere i get a phone call from my neice who was crying and the first thing that came to my mind was something terrible happened to my younger niece rena.

instead, my sister gets on the phone and informs me that our older sister, and my mom's eldest daughter, has found us. yes, she found us. my mother's pre-dying wish came true. the one thing she wanted before she died was to see her long-lost daughter again. my mother and my aunt have both asked me to look for her (and obviously i was very interested in finding her as well) but i didn't have any information to go on. all i knew is she was born in korea, around some general date, her name was something like suzanne and she was adopted by a caucasion couple from america. i contacting some adoption agencies but had no luck. i really didn't expect to ever find her. we knew nothing.

so, me and my sis both start crying and johnny and i had just started cleaning the house and now all of a sudden i'm crying on the phone and he's wondering wtf just happened.... mostly, i just couldn't believe it. i was so happy i couldn't believe it. the only thing was, mom didn't know yet. and we couldn't get in touch with her!

so the entire day mom was oblivious, gardening away at dry pond with her cell phone off and finally i get through to her and told her. she was completely shell shocked. mostly silent. i didn't know what else to say so i gave her Seujan's contact information and let her decide what to do. yes, my sister's name is Seujan..isn't that interesting? so from what i learned later, mom called suejan shortly after i told her. since then, we have all been talking to each other on the phone more often than we have in a long time.

this is Seujan, she is awesome. she looks just like my mom did. she is so much like us, from what we hear. she lives in seattle, washington (where my good buddies live!) and is a triathelete. she found us because she went to korea for a marathon and looked up her records and found her orphanage. she blogs, too. it's a crazy world we live in.

so, we are going to seattle to meet her. this friday, the 17th. me, my mom and johnny are all going to see her and our good friends we miss very very much. it happens to be Penelope's birthday and we did promise to come to her 1st birthday party.

mom is so very happy. it's going to be the most emotional moment of our lives. i know it may sound funny and its hard to explain but i love my sister even though we never met, and she didn't even know i existed until last week. she is a part of us, we areall uniquely bound even though we have been separated from each other. i think our lives are changed.

seaweed soup - meeyuk guk

2009-01-14T22:50:00.000-05:00

this is a very nutritious and fulfilling korean soup that i always considered comfort food. it costs next to nothing to make and is very simple to cook. it's very tasty, despite what you may think..

first off, find your nearest asian food market and buy a package of dried seaweed. It will say seaweed somewhere on the package, anyways. it's hard to describe what it looks like, so here's a picture. it's quite cheap - this bag cost me $2.99 and there are several pots of soup that can be made from it. you will also need:

toasted sesame oil
olive oil
fresh garlic
chicken broth
salt & pepper, to taste
toasted sesame seeds, for garnish
steamed rice, for side dish

you'll have to soak the seaweed before you can start cooking. use a big bowl and rip chunks of dried seaweed out of the package and pour plenty of room temperature water over them. set aside for 10 - 20 minutes. then, without touching the bottom of the bowl, gently swish the seaweed to loosen any sand and pluck the seaweed out of the bowl by the handful onto a strainer. gently press as much water out of the seaweed as possible and set aside.

on medium high heat, saute about 3 or 4 cloves of fresh minced garlic (depending on how much you like garlic) in a few tablespoons of olive oil. add the seaweed and keep saute-ing. the idea is to cook down the seaweed similar to spinach, until it is reduced and wilted a bit. this only takes a few minutes, make sure you keep stirring to avoid scorching the seaweed.

at this point you should add into the pot a few pinches of salt, and some freshly ground black pepper and a tablespoon of sesame oil. i had some leftover mushroom broth so i added about 2 cups of that for extra flavor. you could also saute a few pieces of beef for a heartier soup. my mother usually adds in dried anchovies. whatever you desire. once the seaweed is thuroughly cooked, add a carton of chicken stock and 2 cups of water. Bring to a boil then reduce to a simmer for about 20 minutes. that's it.

it's best to eat the soup while it's hot. usually it is served with rice and a variety of side dishes (korean tapas, basically) like kimchi, anchovies, spicy pickles, bean sprouts stir-fry and maybe a fried fish. since we are poor and do not have a korean woman in the house, i just dump a bowl of rice right in the middle of the soup and eat it like that. don't forget to sprinkle the sesame seeds!

goin' down to chinatown

2009-01-09T23:51:00.002-05:00

today was a good day. it started off sucky cause I couldn't sleep last night and then I finally went to sleep and ended up oversleeping. then i started to get an eye infection so i had to take out my contact lens. but soon it was time for suejin and i to go grocery shopping. we are on a very tight budget (about $180.00/month) on food for 4-5 people so we were a little worried about the food situation and like an answer from the cosmos we stopped at a light at the intersection of price st and henry st and had a fateful conversation. i always wondered what was inside the brick building that had a sign that said "chinatown grocery" on it. why? because it's the ONLY sign in savannah that even says chinatown, there's not a single asian person in sight because we are in the g-h-e-t-t-o. surely, it wasn't really a chinese grocery store - that would be....wierd. but for some reason i wanted to go check it out.

so we go inside and sure enough, it looks like a typical convenience store in the ghetto. but then... i found something that caught my eye. something so exciting that i almost thought my eyes were decieving me. there, at the front of the store was a big table with opened boxes full of - asian pastries!!! like the kind you get at mozarts - custard filled breads and sesame balls with red bean paste and even a hot dog stuffed bun! i was thrilled. so was suejin. we immediatly picked out some pastries for breakfast and continued looking around. in the back there was a meat counter and a petite asian woman doing something with her back turned to us. it wasn't a very busy store so i wasn't sure if the food was fresh but then i read some signs on the wall that said, "family specials". they had a meat deal where you could get 3 lbs of ground beef, 3 lbs of turkey wings, 3 lbs of turkey necks, 3 lbs of fish, 3 lbs of pork chops, 3 lbs of chicken thighs, 3 lbs of chicken drumsticks for $31.95. that's a lot of meat! we were wondering what we could make out of turkey necks and wings when the butcher came up and offered to give us extra chicken instead of the turkey. DEAL.

then out of nowhere an asian man tells us, there's more the back. so we go back there and it was like god smiled down upon us. it was a mini asian farmers market!! there were freezers full of rice cakes, squids, a produce section with persimmons and chestnuts and fresh ginger, a few aisles of asian canned goods like noodles, coconut milk and curries. every time we turned around a corner one of us was squealing with delight. suejin even found a shelf of asian cookies and yelled out, "LOOK, they have choco-pies!!"

we happily paid for our pastries and the wonderful butcher brought the boxof meat to our car. we were so happy. we had a month's worth of meat for $32. right now our freezer is packed to the gills.

we love chinatown.

random beautiful child

2009-01-04T21:27:00.005-05:00

so johnny and i have been taking the dogs to a new dog park a lot recently and i honestly love this park because there's a large fenced in area and then a large field next to it with lush clover patches. today was such a beautiful day and the clovers were so green i laid down on the ground and snapped some photos. then out of nowhere a little girl shows up next to me and asks, "what are you doing?" and i replied, "taking pictures of the grass." without skipping a beat she asks me, "why?" and i had to kind of laugh because it was a good question. i said, "because it's so pretty." so she sits down next to me and looks at the grass and i asked her what her name was. she said her name is Beatrice.

she looked about 5 years old. I told her that i was also looking for a four leaf clover, because they are hard to find and they will bring me luck. so she settles in and starts looking for four leaf clovers. she was so cute, with bright red hair and freckles on her nose and cheeks. i couldn't help but take some photos of Beatrice.

she was a sweet girl and so innocent and precocious. her mother was sitting on a bench watching us and came over to chat. she said she was 47 years old and her daughter was 5. obviously a very much wanted and loved child! she helped me look for four leaves and picked a bouquet of clovers. i can't wait to have my own daughter!

she cooks!

2009-01-04T21:11:00.005-05:00

i have a bunch of pics to show from the past couple days. but for now feast your eyes upon this!:

tonight's menu consisted of creamed spinach and ricotta filled pasta shells with a ground turkey meat sauce with melted mozzarella cheese. I used lots of garlic and for this meal my sous chef was Kim (normally it's johnny...) Since Kim can but doesn't cook, this was a remarkable occasion worthy of a photo shoot. Even though she was complaining the entire time, Kim can't pass up a chance to pose. we call this boobs 'n food:

this is the swish and flick: doesn't she look happy?

field peas and greens

2009-01-01T12:44:00.004-05:00

johnny insists on his first meal of the year being field greens and peas and since i wasn't up to making some elaborate soup, i cheated a little bit and made him a spinach salad with garbanzo beans, black olives, onions, croutons, parmesan, mozarella & feta cheeses, grape tomatoes, sunflower seeds, mushrooms, bacon and italian dressing. it actually looks good but i don't think i can eat a hearty salad first thing in the morning.

thinking about my resolution

2008-12-29T23:05:00.002-05:00

i think its very important for me to think carefully about my life and my future and make some resolutions towards my goals. maybe it's quiet around me to help with clarity so i should take advantage of it, right? for this week, i have very little i can do other than think. and plan. so for the next few days leading up to new year's, i will be contemplating the following areas of interest:

my physical health
my career
my future husband
my potential children
my geographical location(s)
my preferred lifestyle
my financial health

i feel like its very selfish to think all about me but i know i owe it to myself. i owe it to my family as well. i always have plans and goals but this time i really have to make some monumental changes and decisions towards my goals. i really can't afford to become distracted anymore. so, hopefully this week i will have the mental clarity and the willpower to make my resolutions come true.

not a very merry xmas

2008-12-28T20:11:00.002-05:00

this year with all the crap that's going on, all the pressure we are under, all the stress we deal with everyday, johnny and i decided not to have christmas. beside the fact that we have zero money to spend on gifts or anything, we just wanted to be left the hell alone. even still johnny drove to beaufort to have xmas with his family just to make an appearance. i treated it just like any other day pretty much. i cooked and cleaned like i always do. but i didn't mind cause all the food came out great and the one guest we had over - emily, kim's old roomie - really enjoyed herself. so i guess i can honestly describe our christmas as laid back.

but it's pretty much safe to say i hate christmas. i am now officially the grinch. actually, i never really liked christmas that much as a kid, either. i hardly ever got what i wanted so i didn't bother making a list. when i got older i started getting some things i really wanted - mostly electronic gadgets from my mom (who i suspect was trying to make up for something). but more than anything i hated how people act around the holidays. it seems like people are either greedy, depressed, jealous, anxious, prideful, and self absorbed. i can't exactl exclude myself from those adjectives but i knew christmas was not a very good holiday. it seemed to bring out a lot of bad in people.

and it also stands to reason that since i don't believe in christ, i shouldn't be celebrating christmas. so i don't think i will celebrate christmas anymore. at least, not in it's modern "traditional" sense. yea, i like to decorate with christmas-y things. i like to bake cookies and make snowmen (theoretical snowmen, anyways), i like the general feel of christmas. but i hate the travelling, the obligation, the anxiety over gifts and family. so i'll take what i like and leave the rest.

what about our kids? are we robbing them of a happy childhood? if you really think your kids need christmas to have a happy childhood then you aren't doing a very good job. i think our kids will be very happy, and we will more than compensate for not brainwashing our children into thinking a fat man is going to give them presents. (no offense to fat men...)

so yeah. poo on christmas.

but we actually had a good time. i even got to make experimental peanut butter & jelly samosas.

pictures of life in the S-A-V

2008-12-28T20:00:00.010-05:00

it's the end of december and we are sweating our boobies off in the dirty south...

bibi and louie decide it's too effin' hot out here too!

louie sniffs a palm rose.

there are about half a dozen people making palm roses in the park.

the fountain in forsyth park was all decked out for the holidays.

bibi window surfing on truman pkwy.

i shit thee not, this is a Wendy's on hilton head.

the chicken, potatoes & peas samosa filling we had for xmas.
'twas gooooood!

pppbbttttt! bibi says poo on xmas, too!

i miss pottery :(

2008-12-22T22:59:00.002-05:00

i've been keeping an eye out for pottery wheels on craigslist but i can't even afford those. i wonder if there are manual wheels out there i can either make or buy... i just really miss playing with clay. making something useful - or maybe more interesting to look at than useful.

at the beach in december!

2008-12-22T10:59:00.008-05:00

this is my favorite pic of smooshie enjoying his unlimited digging privileges

yea, it's been freakishly warm lately. i keep hearing on the news about all the snowstorms and just wishing a little of that will blow our way. the warm weather was supposed to end by sunday night (which it did!) so we took the bored dogs to the beach one last time for the year. hopefully the dog park will open back up soon and we can start taking them there again. i swear as soon as i have some money we will be donating to the dog park!

it seems like its taking forever to settle into this new apartment, mostly because of a major lack of storage. we have no closets!! we had way more stuff than this place could hold, plus a bunch of Kim's crap and suejin's stuff (mostly for baby). so, johnny in all his magnificent manly glory and handiness had to put up a bunch of shelves and stuff so we could put things away. my first concern was the stove area, which had no place to put spices and just two tiny little slivers of counter space on each side of the stove. I had johnny install a small shelf level with the top of the stove's display console and voila!

i just love organizing things and putting them in the perfect spot. even though this apartment has no storage, it has a lot of nooks and crannies perfect for making your own storage, which i love! the bathroom is my next task to tackle. friday night i made the first official homecooked meal: pot roast. i just love it when pot roast comes out good, and there's practically no way to mess up a pot roast in a crockpot. i don't even go by a recipe, i just play around with it knowing the basics of a good roast is to broil it first. i use about 10 cloves of garlic stuffed in the meat and a good bit of red cooking wine and mushroom broth. yuuummmmm....

my momsent me back to savannah last time with a van load of stuff, including plants, paintings, 100 year old mushrooms (i'll make a whole post on this topic, too), paintings, and fabric - oh! and a sewing machine!!! I cannot wait to use that baby! anyways, i still have to set up a sewing station so don't get too excited yet... right now there's a banana tree and a mango tree living on my kitchen table and i just wanted to show them off. thanks, mom!

dreaming of snow...

2008-12-18T17:39:00.002-05:00

it's been hot in savannah lately. today was pretty warm, about 82 degrees and humid! the weather down here is so weird - it's warm one day then really cold the next. it's frustrating cause i can't put all my summer clothes away and i only own one or two sweaters. i want it to be so cold all i can do is snuggle under some blankets with some hot cocoa and a good book. but NOOOO...i'm sweating my tatas off in my tank top and little else on. i've reallybeen fantasizing about living up north somewhere far far away... like washington state or even canada. someplace beautiful and wild and where it gets lots of snow. i want to ski and make snowmen and eat and drink hot stuff! at this point, i'd be happy with some ice in the freezer. i really really want a big chunk of land to build my earthship and my farm and have snow dammit.

I'm bored, dammit!

2008-12-18T12:33:00.000-05:00

so i'm trying to take a cute picture of louie sitting in suejin's lap and bibi keeps popping her big bubbly head into my picture. she'sobviously trying to tell me something - probably something like, "are you gonna take us somewhere today??"

another blogger...

2008-12-17T15:01:00.001-05:00

please welcome my cousin suejin to the world of blogging - her baby blog is over at http://suesfirstbaby.blogspot.com/

i'm a guest blogger on her blog, too :) we are having fun playing around with the look of her blog, so expect it to change every now and then. we plan to have lotsa pictures to share!

it's been a long month...

2008-12-01T11:53:00.000-05:00

yes, i realize i haven't posted in a month and my last post was obviously filler. so much has been going on i haven't been able to keep updated except for on facebook, which is like crack. i've been going all over the place and not been able to get online long enough to putz around on my blog. johnny and i have moved into an apartment downtown savannah with my bff Kim and my cousin Suejin, who is now 7 months preggers. Johnny's dad was moved to a nursing home after being released (more like expelled) from the hospital and he is doing good so far. of course, in the midst of all that, johnny's poor mom cracked a rib and was down for the count herself. well, whatever - johnny has so much drama in his life right now he needs to start his own damn blog, i can't keep up for the both of us. my drama is finally starting to wind down a bit - i feel much better now that we are moved into our own place (i don't want to sound unappreciative but jimmy's house was driving me nuts) and away from my mom. not that i don't love her but the woman drives me totally nuts and just when i thought nobody else could drive me nuts like her, suejin's mom has come to stay with us for a bit and THAT woman knows how to drive a person nuts. she nags nonstop about everything. and i mean everything - like cooking, cleaning, what to eat, what to wear, who should do what, etc... she cleans everything with rubbing alcohol over and over again. i thought I had OCD, but its nothing compared to suejin's mom.

i know it may seem like a lot on my plate having my pregnant cousin move in with us, but i am looking forward to it. i get along with her great and it's nice having family around. i don't know how i am gonna deal with her mom, though. that's a big rub right there. we've been buying baby stuff like crazy. i get a bunch of baby things from goodwill - i found an awesome old school high chair for the baby and a cute changing table. suejin's mom (Anna is her name) buys everything brand new - which kind of irked me (especially since they have no money) but i guess that's her perogative and not mine. goodwill is my favorite store and i guess it's just not for everyone.

i had thanksgiving with my mom in atlanta and we are planning to have christmas in savannah - just me, johnny, suejin and kim. i am sick and tired of travelling for the holidays to see family. i really dont even like christmas anymore, i just want to relax at home with friends. the dogs are happy, Anna gave them a korean scrub-down and all three of them are cleaner than the day they were born but they get love and attention from everyone so they are quite comfy and happy. we take them to the dog park which they love.

thats all for now, i am eyeball deep in moving boxes to unpack so i need to get started on that. i have pictures to post but for now it'll have to wait.

YAY OBAMA!!

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T13:46:00.005-04:00

halloween from 3 years ago, my last big party

halloween is my favorite holiday of the year. it always has been, and i think always will be. i love that there's a day that the whole family can be creative and dress up and decorate and play jokes on each other and be spooky. i just love halloween. my favorite thing to do is to scare the bejeebers out of the kids that come to my door for candy. it's a ton of fun, i just love hearing their screams and giggles. and come on - who can resist the baby in a costume? it's too cute. i like halloween cause there's no pressure. no worrying about gifts or preparing a feast, it's just fun.

i have celebrated halloween every year of my life except this one. this year i have no home to call my own, no reason to dress up or have a party. it's a little sad, but i'm not stressing it - next year i'll celebrate halloween again. i am still trying to perfect my graveyard decor and i have big plans for it next time. for now, i'm gonna be an onlooker, not a participant.

kombucha

2008-10-18T12:38:00.002-04:00

have you heard of a drink called kombucha? i just read about it today and i am totally intrigued. it sounds like it might be something i like. bryna introduced me to yerba mate, with cream and sugar, and i love it. i found this website about kombucha and i'm thinking about buying a mother batch. if you have any opinions on it, let me know in the comments. it appears to be getting very popular and can't be any worse than noni juice!

my very first piece of pottery, which i gave to my mom...

being back at dry pond is like having a powerful flashback. i remember spending thanksgiving there with just johnny and my mom and syrus and grilling steak outside in the cold and how incredibly awesome fresh baked french loaf with cream cheese and fig jam is. i remember all the way back when it was a worn down shamble of a house and fixing it up with ricky and a crew of mexican immigrants. i remember meeting my cousin's baby mama at a major family holiday gathering and having to keep my aunt aja from attacking kris's girlfriend from the other side of the dining table. how many countless hours of karaoke sung and korean card games played, fires lit in the fireplaces and meals eaten. i find random things left at dry pond and accumulated into a museum of family crap, like the above pictured pottery, which i made in my very first pottery class. i hate going to dry pond but i also love it. it's just a really emotionally charged place.

feeding time at the koi ponds....

we went up tp hurricane shoals park after collecting crystals so i could dunk my feet in the cold river and it was so relaxing, i had to record the moment. well, it was relaxing to me and my mom, i don't think johnny was very relaxed, he was on his second day of forced nicotine withdrawal (by forced i mean he had no choice of smoking around my mother).

too much to catch up on!

2008-10-18T10:05:00.021-04:00

my mom sewing a skirt for me at dry pond

besides the fact that i constantly lose vital components to either my laptop or camera which prevent me from posting and/or uploading pics, i've been so busy lately that i can't even remember all the stuff i wanted to blog about! the past few weeks have been a whirlwind of friends and family and job hunting, apartment hunting, roadtrips and living out of a suitcase. this is literally the first chance i've had to sit down and write. so while my camera is uploading 300 pictures onto my computer, i'll just briefly touch on the highlight of events.

picked crystals on my new green skirt...

i've spent a lot of time with my mom. going to dry pond and her land that has the crystals. we've picked so much crystal that it filled a pickle jar (thanks, johnny!) and 3 strawberry cartons. i'll post pics of that. i've learned a lot of new things about my family, my mom's past, why she did the things she did and it was kind of a breakthrough. for the first time in her life, she apologized to me. she really apologized and admitted things she never could. she's still a stubborn pain in the ass but i understand her now. the woman has had it tough and never got any credit for it either.

bog mint tea, picked fresh from the koi ponds!

i also spent a lot of time with my cousin suejin and it is now a top priority for me to help her and her mom make a better life for themselves. suejin is 6 months pregnant and has absolutely no support - physically, emotionally, or financially. they are teetering on the edge of homelessness and despair and i just can't bear to think that i've been helping everyone but my own cousin my whole life. she and i are so alike, and i can imagine how totally sad and broken i would be in her position. i don't feel sorry for her, i feel frustrated at how things have happened.

my wonderful friend Shai from india is in town for my wedding. Unfortunately, the wedding has been postponed and she flew all the way from Mumbai! luckily, she's not pissed off and we are all so happy to see each other we don't care. I missed her terribly and I don't want her to leave but she's got other places to go, people to see so she'll be gone this friday.

shai finds a broken perfume bottle in her luggage...

shai is so cute!

new relationships

2008-10-06T12:51:00.002-04:00

I think that the overall tone of this blog is going to lighten up significantly as the year ends. I know a lot of bad things have happened (and even though I blab about a lot of it here, you don't even know the half of it), but things are still looking up and from experience I know that once you've hit the bottom the only way left is up.

So I'd like to take a much needed moment to reflect on some of the good things that have happened recently. First off, my mom is talking to me again, and I am talking to her. I did not speak with her from the day I told her I was getting married to the day of my uncle's funeral and the moment I saw her sitting by herself and crying at the funeral home, all I could do was hug her and tell her I love her. I think she needed me more than anything. I felt bad about our rift but we didn't even have to mention it, it was like it never happened.

I also re-united with my long lost cousin Suejin. Her and I were estranged because our mothers had a huge fight when we were kids and never spoke to each other again (the silent treatment is a hereditary skill). Suejin and I went out to have coffee and started to re-kindle our relationship. Before our moms fought, we were inseperable. In fact, we even used to dress alike and hold hands all the time. We fought each other like cats and dogs but also knew each other like the back of our hands. She was the closest thing to a sister I had as a kid. We felt like we had been robbed of our relationship so we decided to be close again no matter what our mothers say.

This last one is a little bottersweet because I managed to learn some news things about my family and in the process lost my other cousin Kris. He didn't die, but he turned his back on me and my mom. Normally, this would have hurt me and angered me but there's nothing I can really do to fix it so I'm letting it go. In exchange for that, I understand my mother on a whole new level.

I also made some important self-discoveries that I think came to me by the balancing of karma. I am beginning to believe a little more in the concept of a destiny, and the idea that you are born with one. I think it's an inherent talent and disposition towards something that had to have been manifested by a previous soul and reborn as a new person's destiny. I know it sounds completely nuts but I promise I'm not becoming a fanatic mysticist. It makes perfect sense to me, only because I don't believe in coincidences. I think it's truly a blessing to recieve your destiny because you will feel everything you lacked like confidence when insecure and happiness when sad. It's like finally having peace of mind. Like finding something you cherished but lost long ago. Maybe it's just me hitting a very late puberty. I feel enlightened.

I am also feeling financially enlightened as I am now managing her hotel project and will be compensated. And, Johnny has finally gotten an economic break. I can't wait until the election, as I truly think things are going to get much better.

smooshie has a new nose

2008-10-05T06:02:00.010-04:00

I've only been gone for a week and it seems like an eternity. I've come to think that I don't consider Atlanta home anymore. a week is all I can take. The stress level there is beyond high. I can't even imagine how people live there anymore with all the smog, traffic, corruption and panic. My body and mind were screaming "get out of here!" and my ankle flared up along with my insomnia and indigestion. At one startling moment, I realized I was homesick, and I felt sad and insecure. I was drowning in sorrow with all of the rest of the city.

So, I couldn't take it anymore and posted an ad on craigslist in a moment of weakness; despite the obvious stupidity, and searched for a ride to savannah. To my surprise I got a reply the next day from a woman named Maureen telling me she was headed that way and if I could tell her who I was. I hitchhiked on the internet. So I replied back,

Hey Maureen,

I'm Heather, I went to SCAD and my fiance and I live in Beaufort (which is only 30 mins from SAV). I'm stuck in Atlanta with my parents cause I had to go to a funeral and they were supposed to bring me back to Savannah this weekend but then they had other plans they forgot they already made. I don't want to wait until next weekend so I thought I'd try to find someone heading my way. I can literally be dropped off anywhere in Savannah, I have friends and family all over the place. I just don't want them to waste gas coming to get me cause gas is so freakin expensive. I was hoping to get a ride with a female driver cause ya know.. parents would freak out if i told them i was hitching a ride with a strange man...not to mention fiance would probably not like that! Soooo glad you're a girl... or are you a guy with a girl's name? I'm betting you're a girl. Anyways, I'm not psycho, don't smoke, don't care if you do, and will listen to whatever you want to listen to as long as it isn't gospel music. I'm scad alum (masters in architecture) so I'm not some crazy college kid with pink hair and piercings everywhere. Pretty normal, relatively.

my cell phone # is ******** and I'm staying in Doraville, right by spaghetti junction. I can be up and ready at 7 am and I can even take turns driving if you want. Let me know what you decide and I will go ahead and tell my parents peace out!

So now we are friends on facebook. Maureen turned out to be a really cool chick with two beautiful kids, a 3 year old boy named Reed (a.k.a. Diego) and a 8 year old girl named Ridley. I watched cartoons and movies on the DVD player in the car with the kids and talked about homebirthing with Maureen (she did solo homebirths for her brood). It was actually a really pleasant drive and we enjoyed each other's company. Her kids were "in showbizness" cause they were going to savannah to be in a SCAD thesis film. The little boy was really happy go lucky and bright as a star. He liked to watch the cartoon Diego (like Dora the explorer, fyi) in spanish. The little girl was a bit ornary at being awakened on a saturday morning at 6 am to take a 4 hour car ride. Before even leaving atlanta she was asking if we were there yet. But she was adorable and sweet, too. She would touch the back of my elbow with her big toe from the backseat.

The whole thing just made my desire to have kids flare up and we even talked about that. Her advice was to "just do it". heh. alot easier to say than do. Anyways, we had lunch at sentient bean coffeeshop at forsyth park and then went our separate ways. I'll miss my 4 hour friend.

But once I got into the car with johnny, I felt 100% better. I realized that I felt more at home in savannah and beaufort than I did in atlanta, and how weird that was because I used to hate savannah. When we got home, the dogs were naturally really happy to see me and I got kisses all around. I noticed smooshie was not in the horde of dogs attacking me, so I called out for him and I heard him start his happy whining and crash through the doggie door, nails all slipping on the linoleum. I guess he was outside, but once he realized who was standing before him, he became frantic to find a toy to pick up and offer to me (he always greets bearing gifts). It was the best feeling in the world. I noticed immediatey that his nose had changed to a light pink color.

When I find my damn camera cord, I'll be uploading a ton of new pictures.

it's fall

2008-10-01T12:41:00.004-04:00

one of very few pictures of my halmonee (grandma)

it's been a crazy month. i lost a family member and sort of gained one at the same time. i'm working on it, anyways. my mom and i are talking again and i realized that my mom is capable of apologizing and i am capable of forgivness and we both owe it to each other. because she's my mom and i'm her daughter and even if i get a blood transfusion i'll still be her kid. and to my surprise there's a lot more about our family left for me to learn. i guess every family has their skeletons in the closet but it just seems like mine has way too many. how do they manage to rack up so many skeletons?

it's still surreal to think my uncle hans is dead. it seems like he's still at his shop, doing acupuncture. it's like it didn't really happen. but then the image of him in his casket flashes in my head and i remember how i'll never hear his voice again. he had a strong voice, and a hearty laugh. him and my mother look most like my grandma who died when i was little because of a drunk driver.

in the end, it was alcohol that killed my uncle. it's alcohol that ruined my family. i had no idea how evil and destructive alcohol could be. i'm glad that i'm not into alcohol and that my mother isn't either. it's crazy how dangerous alcohol is but yet it's legal and how marijuana is harmless and illegal. i wonder if my uncle had used pot instead of alcohol he might still be alive today.

but anyways, i'm OK. i'm still a little numb but i'm going to be alright. i know that my uncle and my grandmother have been recycled into a new life and i'm sure it will be a happy one. i imagine their energies floating in the sky and their memories remaining deep within them.

unbelievable loss...

2008-09-24T20:57:00.000-04:00

my uncle Hans passed away monday morning. he was 57 years old. he had a massive heart attack and died instantly. he leaves behind two grown sons, a wife and a young grandson. He was a very strong-willed man with a good heart and deep love for his family. he went on a journey of self-discovery and travelled to china to learn chinese medicine. he came back to the U.S. in late 90's to practice acupuncture and herbalism. he has given acupuncture treatments to just about everyone in the family (including me and johnny).

uncle hans loved the children in our family so intensely. when i was little he used to pinch my cheeks and nibble on my nose and just squeeze me hard. he had such an exuberant laugh and a bright smile. he was a humble man, with personal turmoils that he struggled with but never troubled anyone else with.

uncle hans never stopped trying to improve himself. he practiced calligraphy and studied medicine in his spare time. he had a small acupuncture practice and helped run a dollar store with his wife.

i regret that i didn't spend more time with my uncle. we used to have family gatherings around the holidays and the favorite thing to do was sing karaoke. uncle hans was the only boy among his siblings and the only one to pass on the family name to his sons.

i'll miss uncle hans very much. he was the man of the family and always available to help. i'll miss him.

trying not to drown

2008-09-17T17:54:00.002-04:00

in self-pity and pessimism. it seems like we are just simply screwed. everyone is having a tough time, everything is lousy. there is just a few precious drops of hope that evaporate as each day passes. could it be that we have to hit rock bottom before we get a break? in any case, things need to brighten up soon - i hate this feeling of failure. i am still happy and grateful for the people around me but right now gas being $4.89 is making it really tough to do anything. it's making me mad, too. did you know some gas stations will charge you an extra .07 cents a gallon for using your card at the pump? is that freakin' evil or what???

johnny's dad gets better one day then gets worse the next. it's bewildering.

do you know what it's like to live in a place where the daytime heat index reaches 95 degrees with relative humidity of 59%?!? At night the heat goes down to 78 or so with the same amount of humidity. it's the closest thing to hell on earth - especially if you have big boobies. i want a big de-humidifier for our apartment.

there's an empty house right next door to johnny's parents that i have actually fallen in love with. i keep going over there to snoop around and i just LOVE the backyard - it's like a secret garden. i have to take pictures and upload them for you to see...

swept away

2008-09-12T12:55:00.002-04:00

this would be funny if it wasn't so tragic.... our beach house that we rented for the wedding got swallowed by the ocean. apparently the last few storms really took a toll on hunting island, which has been eroding away quite fast for a while now. they revitalized the beach by dumping more sand but the south end of the island just gets dissolved regardless. there have already been several cabins lost to the sea, and the one we rented just recently. so, we'll have to move to another cabin - unless we want to wade out to our old one.

there... and back again.

2008-09-10T23:40:00.000-04:00

we were gonna move. but at the last minute, we decided it wasn't the right time. so we just visited beaufort - again. and for just a week, but it feels like longer. it's hard to get on the internet out there! by now, the dogs are used to driving for hours, eating meals in the car, playing at rest stops and staying at their cousin's house. it's like a traumatic childhood, huh?

we are still moving, though. we just needed more time to see how things played out. living day-to-day. it's hard to make decisions when you have so many options but so very little resources. it's like the toughest game of chess you ever played - with your future at stake. what's ironic is that i feel more in my element now than i did when things were stable. i'm used to moving around, temporary living arrangements and traveling. it makes me wonder if i am even well-suited to the american dream lifestyle of living in a house with a new car, 2 kids and a dog. i think i might have been a nomadic mongoloid in a past life. i dont mind the idea of living in a yurt and living off the land actually. ok, snap back to reality.

we are also still getting married. neither one of us has chickened out yet, so that must mean something! Except now we have to pay for everything ourselves and the theme of my wedding went from beach to bohemian over the course of the last couple weeks. i found a dress to wear for $49 from a store in the mall. i'm going to keep it a surprise from johnny but i can tell you that it's a cute dress. not a wedding dress in the slightest, though. kim was dissappointed - she wants there to be more lace and silk and ruffles. she wants shoe-dress-hair coordination going on and i don't even plan on bothering with shoes. like i said before, i just want my guests to be there, food and drink, and someplace for us to sleep (even if it's under the stars in the sand). i'm pretty excited, i think it's going to be the best day of my life.

johnny's dad is doing much better. he's got his own room on the 7th floor and he can talk. maybe he'll be well enough to come to the wedding, but i'm not going to count on it. i'm just happy he's still with us.

moving

2008-08-25T20:14:00.002-04:00

johnny and i are getting ready to move down to beaufort by september 1. we've packed up most of the house and now we are just waiting to find someone to rent our house and get a job. the job market right now is terrible, we have put in countless applications for all kinds of jobs and nothing. we really want to have our own business but can't find a bank that will accept our souls for a few grand. we are just going to have to ride out this economy and trim down our lifestyle to the bare minimum. we'll have most of our stuff in storage and live out of a few suitcases while we stay in beaufort.

i plan to help out johnny's family as much as i can and try to make a few bucks wherever possible. i'm going to put my energy into cooking nutritious meals and keeping everyone as healthy as possible. i'm going to be pinching pennies everywhere and keeping my ear to the ground for any opportunity that may present itself.

the bad news just keeps rollin' in, though. johnny's dad finally lost his leg to the staph infection. the poor guy was on vancomycin for weeks in the hospital but his left foot did not improve. to keep the infection from spreading, they amputated his leg below the knee. just when we thought he was improving, he's actually taken a turn for the worst and now all we can do is hope and pray. i know he's not my dad, he's not even my father-in-law yet, but i consider him family and i care about his well being a great deal. i don't know if i can ever forget the time we spent visiting him in the hospital, most of which he was sedated for. the last couple of days we were in savannah his dad finally awoke and was aware of the people around him. he couldn't speak with all the tubes, not to mention his weakened state, but he tried to communicate with us with great effort. it was kind of heartbreaking to see him trying to tell you something but not being able to understand him at all. his eyes would plead but his mouth could not form the words.

he was parched and begged us for water but we could not give him any for fear of pneumonia. we were able to swab the inside of his mouth a little bit and he had some relief. it was kind of funny because he would moan "aaahhhhh" "ahhhhh" cause it felt so good to have a cool damp cloth wiped over his face and inside his mouth. we were all dressed in gowns with gloves and masks and took turns talking to him and tending to him. then, he looked at me intently and said something which sounded like "ooo betty" over and over... i finally figured out what he was trying to say - it was "your pretty". i tried to keep tears from rolling down my cheeks because i couldn't believe he would spend his energy trying to tell me something like that. he was saying it like it was imperative that he tell me i was pretty. or maybe it was the antibiotics talking... anyways, i'll never forget that.

then, not too long ago, i found out from my real dad that things weren't going so good for him either. he had gone out of business. nobody was going on vacation it seemed so his timeshare and travel/vacation business went under. i had called to ask him for money to help pay for the wedding. how awful did i feel?

to me, this is like the depression. it's the time of my life where i will look back and be thankful for the things that i did have. it's a period of time where you have to find inner strength and courage. and it's only a period of time, not a lifetime. i know there are many people who suffer worse conditions, worse tragedies, and nobody to turn to. i am so very thankful to have friends and family there for me.

gettin' hitched - plan A

2008-08-19T18:50:00.008-04:00

smooshie's first outdoor sleepover. he's scared witless. 03/10/05

our wedding is coming up real fast, and even though we've got so much crap going on in our lives, i am not stressin' my wedding day plans at all. the only thing i'm concerned with is getting the beachhouse paid for and making sure everyone has food to eat. that's it. i don't give a flyin' shit about anything else. i don't care what people wear, what i'm gonna wear, what colors we are going to decorate with or anything like that. mother nature is going to provide the lighting, the venue and there's no way i can top that with some silly streamers.

we decided to have our wedding on Hunting Island for many reasons - first of all, we love that place. it has a lot of good memories for us, going to the beach and camping out. i'll never forget the time i took shai and jess and syrus (he was our only dog back then) camping out there with johnny. we drove all the way to the campsite and got there just in time to use the last hour of sunlight to set up camp. we got everything out and was trying to quickly put the tent together only to realize that someone forgot to pack the damn tent supports. johnny had to drive all the way back into town to buy us a new tent at wal-mart. meanwhile, shai, jess and i built a campfire and waited in the near-dark. syrus was so scared out of his wits (he had never spent the night outside before) he wouldn't leave the circle of light thrown by our campfire. nearly caught his tail on fire. it was hilarious. we cooked sausages on the fire and syrus toughened up a little bit to protect the sausages.

Hunting Island is also really close to johnny's family. they all live in beaufort which is a short drive from the island. savannah is only an hour away so a lot of my friends from college can come to the wedding. Hunting Island is also the most beautiful place on the east coast, in my opinion.

there won't be very many people at the wedding, mostly close friends and family. i don't expect much more than 40 people to show up. my sis and her kids will be there. hopefully shai will be there (she's coming from india!). of course, kim's gonna be there. most of johnny's family will be there, too. my real father will be there as well.

i rented out a pavilion right next to the beautiful light house. it's a small pavilion and i'm only going to decorate it with some twinkling lights in the rafters. i'm going to serve normal food, not lttle puff pastries filled with foi gras or some shit like that. we'll have carolina bbq and maybe some pita pit food :) if all goes well, we might even have live music provided by johnny's nephew david. he plays drums. the pavilion is just steps away from the beach, where we will have our ceremony. we don't have a pastor or reverend or anything like that. our good friends vanessa and andrew will be marrying us, and i can't think of anything better than that.

these are the days of our lives....

2008-08-18T11:42:00.003-04:00

sometimes my life feels like a soap opera. my mom is definitely a soap opera character. she's very proud, commanding, manipulative, and sometimes just plain crazy. one day she's happy, sweet, and fun to be around. the next day she's stabbing you in the back with an ice pick and watching while you beg for mercy. my stepfather, on the other hand, is her complete opposite. he's very meek and kind of simple-minded. he wouldn't dare talk back to my mom. naturally, she walks all over him. she's got him by the balls and he's pretty much her slave. at any given time of the year, family members from my mom's side of the family are quarelling. right now, my uncle and youngest aunt are not speaking to my mother. neither am i. my sister managed to escape the drama that is our family and moved to texas.

i wont air all our family's dirty laundry, not because i care but because it's just too much shit to write down. let's just say we got some serious history. especially me and my mom. our relationship is, to say the least, contentious.

we have had knock-down drag out fights in public places, screaming matches during family gatherings, and serious amounts of time not talking to each other. the funny thing is, out of all the people in our family, my mother and i are the closest. only because i'm the only person who has been able to put up with her shit and defend myself. it's really sad because i'm sure that we aren't really as close as a normal mother and daughter.

regardless of all the stuff that has happened between us, i always end up coming back to my mom. it's a very masochistic habit that i totally recognize but can't break. she's my mother. i kinda hoped that she would love me unconditionally and be there for me when i needed her. unfortunately, those are the last two things my mother does - love unconditionally and be there for me. whenever i got into trouble, i had to turn to everyone else but my mom. she would never help me out of any situation or sympathize with me. her advice to me was always tough it out.

well, i believe that we have finally reached the last straw.

when i told my mom that johnny and i were going to get married this october, she was not happy at all. she told me she was disappointed in me. that we would never get anywhere together and our future is not going to be happy. i wasn't prepared for this reaction, so i couldn't really say anything. i couldn't believe what i was hearing. but it all makes sense. me marrying johnny just doesn't fit into her grand scheme of things. she wants me to get licensed, start a firm and basically be her in-house architect. kinda like she has her own personal assistant and aesthetician and lawyer and doctor. she knows that if i marry johnny, i might just decide to get pregnant and have a family and ditch my career. well, she's absolutely right.

what she said to me hurt me pretty bad. it felt like a cold knife in the heart. i expected her to take over my wedding planning but now she might not even attend our wedding. i am pretty sad that she's taking this route, but in a way i should have expected it. she did this to my sister. i almost forgot how hard she tried to get paula to leave bobby. i forgot how hard it was for paula to tell mom that she was pregnant again. why does our mom have to be like that? paula is happily married with two beautiful kids. i'm pretty sure i will be, too.

so, johnny and i decided that we want to be happy and surround ourselves with family and friends we love. there's nothing keeping us in atlanta. we are coastal small town folk. we like our funky smelling air and sand in everything. we like south carolina barbeque and big open skies. we are moving back to the coast - savannah. we'll be close to beaufort and it's a place where i would like to have kids. our dogs love the beach and so do we.

our wedding is october 18, 2008 on hunting island beach. it's going to be a very small wedding.

puppy trippin'

2008-08-16T13:10:00.004-04:00

don't let this face fool you.

having a puppy is probably the next closest thing to having a hyperactive toddler. we love our little step-puppy Nadia but that dog can get into some serious trouble. first of all, she likes to chew on everything. rugs, pillows, extension cords, furniture, everything but doggie toys. which is fine, louie went through the same exact phase (he ate a chunk out of my backseat) but nadia scared us to death with her mischevious puppy antics friday morning.

i got up to let the dogs outside and since it was so cool i decided to keep the back door open to air out the house a bit. then i went back to my bed and rested while waiting for johnny to wake up. a few minutes later, i hear nadia playing happily with something on the back porch and i look over to see her chewing on a plastic vitamin bottle. i went over and took it away from her. the label was practically all chewed off, but i made out the name of the supplement which was 5htp. 5htp is a seratonin booster. I noticed the cap had been chewed off and there was a bunch of gooey capsules stuck to the bottom of the bottle. i threw it away. i laid back down for a bit.

30 minutes later, i notice things are unusually quiet and just as i listen for the dogs, i hear a yelp. i called out for nadia (my 3 dogs were standing next to me) and no response. so, i figure she got stuck somewhere in the backyard or, (god forbid) she got hurt and can't move. so i immediatly fly into action, put on a house dress and flip-flops and go out looking for nadia.

i found her curled up in a patch of ivy amidst the bamboo trees, crying and looking like she's in pain. she wouldn't move. she had peed herself and was crying. i never seen a dog actually cry but she had tears rolling down her cheeks, it was pitiful and heartbreaking. i thought she might have broken a leg or something but she didn't seem to have any injuries. i didn't know what to do, so i picked her up and brought her inside where she continued to cry yelp and carry on. I could not find any clues as to what was causing her so much pain. i yelled at johnny to help me and we began looking for emergency vets and called mason (nadia's daddy) to tell him what was going on. we called poison control to see what effects 5htp would have on a dog and they didn't say much other than headache and being wobbly. poor nadia was quickly getting worse. we left for the nearest vet and arranged to meet mason there.

unfortunately, the vet we went to was quite ill equipped to handle this situation. they were a small private practice working out of an old house and they referred up to GVS - georgia veterinary specialists. we drove all the way there and gave nadia to the nurses. we really couldn't explain what was wrong with her so they explained the costs of looking at her and they took her to the back. mason was still on his way, so i gave them permission to look at her until he got there. i then realized i was standing in this really nice pet hospital in sandy springs wearing my house dress and flip flops, hair still messy and teeth not brushed. we waited. waited some more. the vet hospital was really really nice, with a greenspace in the back and artwork everywhere. finally mason showed up and i explained everything for like the tenth time.

my guess was she had chewed and swallowed something that was blocking her bowels or something like that. i was pretty sure the xray would show something crazy in her stomach like a kitchen knife or something and she would need surgery. i felt awful, just terrible. poor nadia.

finally the doctor came out and brought us to the exam room where she asked us exactly what happened. i explained everything with as many details as i could. she then asked if we had any illegal drugs in our house that nadia could have gotten into. mason and i looked at each other. i confessed to her that i smoke pot but the dog had no way of getting into it. (plus, i have seen the effects of weed on a dog and it aint nothing like that...) so she then explained to us that nadia was hallucinating. i was kind of shocked - i didn't know what to think. the doc said nadia's clinical presentation is that of a neurological problem - her eyes were completely dilated, she couldn't follow objects with her eyes and her blood pressure was high but heart rate low. all i could think in my head was, ohmigod, she's tripping...

so, what next? the doctor confirmed the effects of 5htp on a dog with the animal poison control and told us that nadia should be OK, she just has to flush the drug out of her system with fluids and take a medicine that counteracts the 5htp. we were quite relieved. after hearing that, we were so happy she was going to be ok that we couldn't help but laugh at the situation. i about had a heart attack thinking nadia was going to die and really all it was was a bad trip. johnny (trying to pretend not to be a smartass) asked the doctor if nadia would suffer from flashbacks.

apparently 5 htp is quite toxic to dogs and they can easily overdose with a small amount. it can be fatal... luckily she didn't seem to have ingested that much. mason took nadia home with some meds and nadia seemed to be bouncing back immediately. thank goodness!

beaufort & savannah

2008-08-13T20:32:00.009-04:00

i swear i took this picture with my own camera. isn't beaufort picturesque? i love the lowcountry.

i just wanted to hop onto this porch and pretend to be scarlett o'hara for a while...

look at this big old canon. it's old. really old.

downtown beaufort. in its entirety.

a quick snapshot of savannah river as i fly past on talmadge bridge. nice shot, eh?

wtf kind of caterpillar is this? johnny claims that it is covered in poisonous thorns that hurt really bad if you touch it. he thinks that about all bugs, though...

a better shot of downtown savannah from the bridge. i can photograph at high speeds, woo hoo!

talmadge bridge. gateway to south carolina.

the wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!

2008-08-13T20:09:00.007-04:00

the dogs have gotten quite used to riding in the car. actually, they kinda love it. all of them like to stick their heads out the window. bibi likes to sit up front, lean her right arm out of the window and rest her paw on the side mirror (which she ended up breaking off). syrus balances himself by propping up a back leg against the seat. louie just sits like a little kid and stares out of the window.

syrus is very alert in the car. he can recognize where he is going when he sees the following landmarks: McDonald's = cheeseburger. winding road through neighborhood = lake. horse farm = uncle jimmy's house in beaufort. short drive through beaufort = beach. speed humps = home. talmadge bridge = auntie kim's in savannah. he gets all excited and starts whining and jumping all over the place. it's really entertaining.

the wrath of nature

2008-08-13T20:01:00.006-04:00

johnny and i drove back to atlanta from beaufort today and of course we picked the shittiest weather to drive in. it's been raining cats and dogs on the coast and the it cleared up once we got west of swainsboro. then....

what's that up ahead?

uh-oh!

what a storm!

at this point we were waiting to see a funnel forming but none did. whew!

sin in a box

2008-08-13T19:36:00.000-04:00

this is quite possibly the worst food you can put in your mouth, but every once in a blue moon you gotta have it. southern fried chicken wings and livers! mmm mmm...

ok, so the chicken wings were for me and johnny and the dogs got the livers. i always think livers will taste good and then i find out i don't really like them once i take a bite. i should go sign up for a bypass now. ugh... roadtrip diets are disgusting.

what is love? baby don't hurt me...

2008-08-11T14:46:00.000-04:00

it's especially hard right now to be optimistic, have motivation, or be certain of anything. when times get tough i only have to look at my goofy dogs or my sweet soon-to-be hubby and i feel a million times better. i know i have to be strong for them and i know they are there for me. that's the kind of love i would rather have than copious amounts of money or fame or hot men chasing after me. this is the fundamental difference between my mother and i. she looks at life as if it were a chess game, each move carefully strategized in a campaign to win (or in her case, rule the world). it's such a painfully archaic way of thinking that i don't feel mad at her so much as sorry for her. she obviously has always felt it necessary to outthink her opponents, to live life with the sole intention of success; never able to just let things happen naturally. she fights the very concept of time and aging. to me, it's a losing battle. it's a waste of precious time you could spend being happy and loved.

my mom truly believes that a successful career and an elitist, white collar husband is the only path to happiness for me. what i've always tried to explain to her is that i'd rather live in a tent with my 3 dogs and the love of my life than live in a mansion with some stranger i despise.

i don't blame her for wanting me to be secure but what is security? what is insecurity? i've been poor, i've been rich. i've been completely alone and i've been surrounded. none of those things lasted very long but one thing constant: johnny. to me, that's security.

i feel bad for my mom but i think that's all part of her strategy, too. i've spent so much time trying to make her proud, make her happy and no time working on my own pride and happiness. i can truthfully say that everything i have done has been for her and yet i still can't bring myself to leave her to make my own life. i don't need her approval and i don't need her support. so, even though it's going to hurt both of us, i have to go. i can't live my life with my mom in it, unfortunately. god knows i have tried.

to be continued...

ugh. life's a beeotch.

2008-08-07T20:40:00.003-04:00

since i don't want to sound like a big pity party wagon, i'm gonna just let it out. johnny lost his new job because he had to leave in the middle of training to see his father in the hospital. they basically told him not to come back, which was quite frankly, an insult and a big blow to us. we are both still unemployed and johnny is dealing with so much crap right now it's hard to handle when stuff like this happens. it's hard to know how to react, what to think... then, news of our wedding got leaked to the korean community (i can't believe kiera has broken the sacred oath of the pinky swear....) and my mom's aesthetician (yes, she rolls like that) called to inform me of potential shit hitting fan. she said now everyone wants to come to my wedding and keep asking questions about it. i had no choice but to call my mom and tell her about it before she found out from the korean newspaper. her reaction was not exactly what i was expecting. i was expecting her to take over the planning but instead she said she was very disappointed in my decision since we were both unemployed and we have no security. she mentioned several times that this was a mistake. the conversation just went further and further downhill and finally it was over. needless to say, i'm not happy about the way the conversation went down. i would write more but i have very limited access to the internet so i gotta go. yeah, it sucks. but things will get better, and i have optimism.

was it all meant to be?

2008-08-05T19:35:00.000-04:00

it's been an eventful week for us. johnny received news from his family in beaufort that his father is not faring so well after his triple bypass and leaky valve repair. so, johnny made the somewhat difficult decision to leave new york in the middle of his training to see his dad at the hospital in savannah. he arrived in atlanta late friday night (which is a whole 'nother story in and of itself...) and we drove to savannah saturday morning with all three dogs and a well-packed suitcase. i dropped johnny off at st.joeseph's and met up with my bff kim. we hung out a bit, went to the pita pit with the dogs (they get lots of attention cause they are so damn cute) and then i drove back to beaufort where johnny was waiting for me at his parent's house.

i have travelled so much between savannah, beaufort, and atlanta that all three places feel like home. i am equally happy to arrive to each place. in any case, stepping into johnny's parent's house is like stepping back in time about 20 years. the house is small and modest - but it just feels like a family lives there. there are old pictures all over the walls, all kind of figurines and paintings of the beach... i've never spent the night at their house before - mainly because johnny's old house is right around the corner and we always stayed there - but this time we left the dogs with jimmy and stayed in johnny's dad's bedroom. this is quite possibly the scariest bedroom i have ever been in. everywhere you look is either a picture of jesus, virgin mary, crosses, and angels. he has a big wooden plaque with the last supper on it and an even bigger velvet painting (yes - from the 60's) of jesus kneeling in prayer. they have little decorative bowls next to each door that keeps holy water in it! the bed was hard as a rock and much smaller than johnny and i are used to. i can only describe the first night there as - provocative (don't do that! jesus is watching).

we visited savannah again the next day and this time i saw johnny's dad. it's hard to see someone you know hooked up to all those machines and totally unconscious. we ended up staying there most of the day, hanging out at the hospital or the hotel across the street where johnny's mom rented a room for the night. so much has happened it's hard to write it all down now, especially since i am on a computer that is from the 90's. i have taken pictures while we are here, but i have to wait until i get home to upload those. so until then, all i can say is that johnny's dad is in stable, yet critical, condition. he is fighting off a bad case of pneumonia and a nasty staph infection but his heart is getting stronger and his color looks better. there is a lot of support down here for the family (remind me to tell you about 100% roman catholic tshirts later) so we are being optimistic. we also told his family of our plans to get married in october. almost everyone but my mother knows about our wedding now. i think the entire town of beaufort knows at this point. i don't plan on telling my mom because she would completely take over my wedding and i would be powerless to stop her. this way we can plan our wedding in peace. she's going to be pissed but oh fucking well. i don't care. she's going to korea the day after the wedding so she might not even be able to make it anyways. so yeah, lots of stuff goin on - i will fill in more details later....

veggies from the garden and dogs in tshirts

2008-07-31T10:21:00.008-04:00

i can't take any credit for these eggplants since my chickens destroyed my garden (my fault, not theirs) but my mom did bring me some eggplant from her garden. i still have peppers and tomatoes growing but no squash or beans or anything like that. anyways, i made myself dinner the other night using her eggplant. i made eggplant stir-fry. which i didn't like - only because i don't really like eggplant but ya know, you got to keep trying it cause maybe one day you'll like it - with the exception of brussel sprouts. those are just freakin nasty.

i also had a eureka moment the other day when i put my t-shirt on louie. louie likes to play under blankets and burrow himself into things, and he especially loves to nuzzle up to me (such a mama's boy) so when i was changing my clothes, he was watching me and wanted to play with my shirt, so i just put it on him. he loved it! it was like nuzzling me and burrowing at the same time! so he kept the tshirt on all day.

i noticed that by having a tshirt on, louie was much more calm and comfortable and most importantly, he didn't get as much fur everywhere! so, in addition to being cute and funny, it's functional! naturally, i had to put one on bibi, who doesn't like to wear clothes that much, but she tolerated it just fine. i think bibi wearing a tshirt is even better cause she has such sensitive skin and this could help her with that. i would have put one on the smooshie, but he didn't want to be touched in any way yesterday. such a grump.

while i was sitting on the couch by the window, i took a close-up picture of my eye in macro and it came out pretty good. unfortunately, it also highlighted the terrible condition my skin is in. i used to have such clear pretty skin and now i am aging. ugh.

home alone

2008-07-30T14:29:00.004-04:00

johnny left on sunday for new york. he got a new job as the regional sales manager for a big printing company and they sent him to new york to take a training class. so, we bought him some new clothes, new shoes, new glasses, and a new laptop messenger bag. he's all white collar now. i'm really happy for him and wish him the best. he deserves it. unfortunately, his father has fallen ill and needed to have a triple bypass on monday - just days after we left them in beaufort. i can imagine the pressure johnny must feel right now, but there is little i can do to ease it for him, he's totally on his own in new york. meanwhile, i'm here at the house, taking care of the animals and trying not to get sucked into the couch. it's really weird how lazy i can get with a man around the house who does most of the daily cleaning. it's a good lesson for me.

the weather here is so stifling hot with nothing but a moist hot breeze occasionally. it's been stormy all week, but very little rain. the dogs are completely bored out of their minds and louie has regressed into his puppy teething habit, so i took them to the lake today. with my banging headache, it wasn't all that fun (for me, anyways). in general, life's a little boring and dismal right now. i miss my friends terribly and even though i don't really miss johnny yet (he's only been gone for 3 days, afterall) i know i will really start missing him soon.

to top things off, i am stuck in this twilight zone of a city with nobody to talk to but my mother. horror of horrors. this woman tortures me. i sucessfully ignored her for 3 days but had no choice but to answer her call yesterday evening. any longer and she would have likely barged her way into my house when i least expect it. i wish i had some kind of alarm that notified me as soon as she entered the neighborhood. something that sounds like a submarine alarm so i can't sleep through it.

so the funny thing is, when i answered the phone she laughed because she thought i might have been mad at her. oh, haha haha haha.... ya think? you brutalized my chickens, you insane woman. of course i'm mad at you. she told me she was glad i wasn't mad at her, and that i shouldn't throw such a fit like that. did i get a word in edgewise? no. i just had to bite my tongue as usual. she has fallen in love with her new charity case - she likes to pick up strays and call them her "friends" while she finds some profitable way to take advantage of them while they thank her all the while. it makes me sick. she thinks its so admirable and endearing that this woman hates being a lawyer so she runs her own locksmithing business. well, what about me? i hate architecture and wanted to start my own business, but did she find that endearing? hell no! she insists that i can't stop being an architect - not because it's my calling, but because she has plans for her own future business dealings. why do i even care what she thinks? oh, trust me - i stopped caring the moment i graduated from college. i just thought it would make life a little easier if we could just get along. if SHE could just stop trying to take over the world and be normal. oh yes, i forgot - that's all part of her charm, being totally nuts is cute these days.

as you can see, me being alone in the same city as my mom without a buffer is a potentially explosive situation. the last time that happened, i think we disowned each other at the marta station. my stepfather is not an ideal buffer, he's more of a bollard. hopefully, everything will be ok by the time johnny gets back. but it's only been 4 days and he's gone for 2 1/2 weeks. someone may just go completely batshit and it's anybody's guess who it will be this time.

warning: graphic content.

2008-07-27T17:22:00.007-04:00

the past few days have been a little emotionally charged for me. it could be my hormones or a chemical imbalance in my brain, but i feel like things haven't been handled quite properly. my mom is just about the only person on this earth who can piss me off more than even i could imagine. i swear i deserve a freaking medal for putting up with her all the time. my sister SO OWES me for this shit cause when it comes time to take care of mom, i plan on being busy raising my own kids. whew- i feel better now. ok, so what could a cute little asian fireball of a woman do to piss me off so bad? well, for starters she likes to kill my chickens. and if you fuck with my chickens, you are fucking with me. (sorry for the profanity, i missed my regularly scheduled therapy appointment and feeling a little bottled up...lol).

anyways, it's not just that she killed my chickens, it's that she ENJOYS it. she relishes the thought of breaking necks and slitting throats. she likes to kill chickens because they are food. and food doesn't deserve dignity. (i swear i'm not crazy). so, i let her kill the first chicken a while ago. i knew that these chickens were fated for the butcher block when i got them, but STILL. Johnny and i did not partake of the first chicken. the second chicken she killed earlier this week, once again with my permission, and this time somewhat more humanely. i watched the whole process of de-feathering and gutting a chicken and assisted with a hose and pail. it was not the easiest thing to watch but i had to. i need to know how to do all that cause hello! i raised these chickens for meat (and eggs). the dogs were entranced with the whole show and i just tried to keep from tossing my cookies. we made a fabulous curry chicken stew over brown rice but i had a very hard time eating it. i only took a small piece of chicken and had to think of other things in order to chew and swallow the meat.

i was glad when that whole thing was over. i ate one of my chickens and i have mixed feelings about it. i know it's normal - we eat chickens. i like chicken, for the most part. we gave them a good life and they died for a purpose. i still felt a bit of guilt and decided to thank the universe for the chicken's sacrifice to us. (still not crazy). so, how did this all piss me off? well, i guess my mother took this and the notice from the code enforcement that it was time to become ruthless chicken handlers and, along with johnny as co-conspirator, tormented my remaining chickens by shoving them roughly and without regard into the small cage for transport. they were squacking and screaming, feathers flying everywhere, the dogs hysterical, and nobody was listening to me. nobody heard me, or otherwise ignored my requests, to be nice to my chickens. i didn't want to traumatize them during this stressful time. I wanted to be able to peacefully put them in the cage and load them in the car and take them over to my mom's. instead, my mom went into a determined terminator-like mode to grab and fling fowl around. johnny, of all people, actually grabbed a rooster by his neck to try and shove him into the cage. my only demand was that they put the cage into the coop and try to coax the chickens inside, using feed as incentive. but NO - don't listen to the crazy, emotional, know-nothing-about-chickens, silly girl. surely i had nothing of value to add to the whole operation. then it became hostile and i lost my cool.

they weren't listening to me, the chickens were frightened out of their minds, and not a single damn chicken was in the cage. finally, my mom took the cage and went inside the coop to grab the chickens and stuff them in. which is excactly what i wanted to do in the first place - put the cage inside the coop and let the chickens go into the cage on their own. WHY wouldn't that work? now, she was essentially doing the same thing - only with a more mean and hostile twist to it. i was very mad and frustrated and broken hearted. not only for my chickens but for that fact that they didn't give a shit that it meant a lot to me to be gentle with my little flock.

i'm sure people may think i'm totally crazy and stupid. chickens are food, why be gentle? why care about their well-being when they are going to be eaten? to me, it just seems to be the right thing to do to treat a chicken with care and respect. you are going to take it's life to sustain your own, it deserves to live and die with a little dignity, don't ya think?

if you want to hear johnny's side of the story, you'll have to hope that he comments to this post.

farewell, my chickens...

2008-07-25T12:36:00.003-04:00

today is the deadline we were given to get rid of our chickens. assholes. anyways, my mom is going to take them to her place and i hope she doesn't kill jerky but they are her chickens now. we left the remaining 6 chickens in the coop to make it easier to put them in the cage for transport. my mom is taking the coop, too. i'm a little sad - i'll miss jerky the most. he's got personality. they all think i'm nuts but chickens have personality, dammit.

i really want to just tell the code enforcement person to fuck off but i don't think that would be the smartest thing to do. johnny thinks we should record jerky and potpie crowing and play it every morning after they are gone. i think it's an excellent idea. i know i've mentioned this before but we sure do have some STANK neighbors. i'm not sure which ones they are, but good grief they really have nothing else to do but complain and meddle in everyone else's business. i'm so glad we don't have a homeowner's association because i wouldn't live here. i'm done being nice to these assholes. i can't believe i gave them homemade fig jam like a dork. from now on, any neighbor that comes over here without something nice to say i'm just going to ignore them.

there is the possibility that none of our neighbors called the code enforcement people on us. who knows. in any case i really can't stand the fact that it's okay to have barking dogs and kids banging on drums but god forbid someone hears a damn rooster. assholes. okay, rant over.

zoning regulations suck

2008-07-23T11:58:00.003-04:00

so the first thing johnny and i see when we got back from beaufort and savannah was a notice taped to our front door from code enforcement. apparently they came by while we were gone and nosed around our house. they wrote me up for have chickens in a neighborhood zoned R-100 and for having paint cans in our carport. jerks. i don't understand why we can't have chickens at our house. the only nuisance they are is the periodic crowing from the roosters. but honestly - we can hear sirens, trains, horns honking, giant dumptrucks, semis, school buses, and bass booming all day long in this neighborhood. what's the big deal about a crowing rooster? i find it kind of funny and endearing to hear jerky and potpie practice singing - it's cute. but i guess that's just me and i'm a wierdo.

regardless, we are going to have to get rid of our chickens by the end of the week (also unfair!) and i think my mom is going to take them, along with the coop johnny built, over to her place - at least until i can find them a good home (stop rolling your eyes). i know of a small petting zoo that was looking for chickens so maybe i'll start there.

why aren't we just going to eat them? well, i'm a little too attached to jerky and potpie to actually kill and eat them. the others not so much. but most importantly, they are not tasty birds. my mom (with the help of bibi) killed and butchered one of the cocks a while ago and she made stew (which i didn't eat either). she said the chicken was way too tough. i guess our birds are leaner than the average grocery store chicken and have very little fat to make them juicy. i guess they get too much exercise. i think our birds are quite happy - they get to roam around about 2 acres of backyard complete with ponds and gardens and bamboo forests and little gullies. it's like paradise for chickens.

so, i can hardly send my priveledged birds to some butcher for a meal. i know i'm a wuss.

bittersweet vacation

2008-07-21T14:28:00.000-04:00

it's been really quiet around my blog lately and that's because a lot has happened. our dear friends have packed up and moved back to the west coast. we've been spending every spare moment hanging out with them and their baby. they wanted to see the sunrise over the atlantic and visit savannah before leaving the east coast. so we all drove down to savannah and beaufort, which is only 40 minutes from savannah. johnny and i brought all of our dogs with us and stayed at his old house in beaufort. as soon as we got into town around 7 pm, we went straight to the beach to let the dogs run around. our friends arrived much later, and stayed in a motel near us. at 5 am the next morning we all drove to the beach (only 2 miles from motel) and watched the sun rise. we collected shells and shark's teeth and did a little bit of yoga. it was nice, and we enjoyed each other's company.

we then drove to savannah and spent the entire day walking around forsyth park and hanging out with my best buddy, kim. they got to see all the big old oak trees with moss hanging, had a light lunch at the coffee house sentient bean and hung out with some interesting roommates that i didn't know kim had. it was a blast. we had a lot of fun but at the same time it was a little sad. we made some really great last minute memories and i'll cherish them. we then walked around city market and had some of the best gelato ever. they had a fig and ricotta flavor that was to die for. i bought myself an art print of a painting called "the invitation" by grant nelson who does really beautiful tesselated paintings. i've wanted one for a long time...

last, we had sushi dinner at our old favorite japanese restaurant on broughton st. called sakura. we had excellent meals and good service (our waitstaff was hot!). then we drove back to beaufort and said goodbye to our friends who were leaving early in the morning. i really really miss them. they are such awesome people.

i spent the next day hanging out with my homefry kim, who i haven't hung out with in a while. i realized how much i missed her, too. johnny fixed her car (he's always got work to do with me around!) and at the same time recieved some really good news! he is now gainfully employed and landed the competitive position of regional sales manager for a multinational printing franchise. it's a great job with excellent benefits but he'll be travelling all over the southeast and has to go to new york on the 28th for 2 1/2 weeks! he's all professional businessman now, so we have to go out and get him some new clothes and travel stuff. i am so proud and happy for him! i'm going to miss him when he goes to new york, but we plan to spend the time apart to concentrate on improving our health by sticking to a strict regimen of diet and exercise. i want to lose as much weight as possible for when he gets back.

so yeah, i'm cramming in 2 weeks worth of blogging in one day but hey, it's better than nothing! i have tons more pictures but i still have to upload them. i'll come back and insert pictures as i get them, so come back again in a few days. glad to be home, excited for what's coming next and can't wait to see my friends again :)

doggies in paradise

2008-07-21T13:01:00.004-04:00

while johnny and i were saying farewell to our good friends and having reunions with other friends and family, the dogs were on vacation. they got to hang out with three other dogs and go to the beach all week. johnny's brother jimmy adopted a german shepherd mix named jake and of course took darla when we needed to find a new home for her. he also took on an aging family member's dog - a 10 year old female mutt named shadow. at first the dogs were standoffish but they became pretty good friends soon enough. jake is very timid and shy and darla is still that annoyingly excited non-stop licking jumpy pup. shadow is the older, slower, less amused one who just sort of lays around the house.

when we arrived into beaufort, we went straight to the sands, our favorite beach spot. we let the dogs out and luckily it was high tide. bibi was beside herself with excitement and syrus went straight into the marsh looking for goodies. louie was blissfully unaware of the difference between beach (ocean) and park (lake). he jumped right into the water, not expecting it to be very deep or salty or have a current. but he took to it right away.

it was so beautiful. i truly love the sands at port royal. it's like your backyard beach where you can go anytime for some fresh air, softly crashing waves and the sharp cries of seagulls. the sand is a powdery white and the water is a clear blue. the marsh grasses are a brilliant bright green and it's all layered in a soothing pattern - the white fluffy sky, the clear blue sky, the deep blue water, the bright green grass, and the white sandy shore. during the day you can see for miles all around and at night the sky surrounds you like a black blanket with twinkling stars. it's heaven.

well, now the dogs are thoroughly depressed to be back home. all they do is sulk and mope around the house, thinking about how boring it is around here...

princess pei pei

2008-07-21T11:23:00.000-04:00

sweet pink baby toes and soft juicy baby cheeks. om nom nom nom... i stocked up on nibbling the baby the last few days before her family packed up the vw and drove across the country back to the west coast. penelope has grown into a happy chubby little baby that you just want to squeeze and nibble all over. she has the cutest toothless grin that lights up her face and makes her cute little dimples show. it takes incredible self-constraint not to just grab the baby and lick her from head to toe like a mama cat. everyone took about a million pictures of this baby in the last couple of weeks and now i just have to show them off. my friend kim is a total paparazzi and took some awesome pictures that she IS going to upload soon. it's sad but exciting to think that the next time i see princess pei pei she will be so much bigger. this kid is so loved and is going to have such a wonderful life. she got to see the sunrise on the east coast with us. it was a beautiful morning on the beach in beaufort and we found all kinds of sharks teeth. the very first tooth i found was an inch long! i should have taken a picture but i gave it to penelope because she needs a bad ass shark's tooth necklace to go with her spear. i'm going to miss her!

do dogs enjoy music?

2008-07-01T16:02:00.008-04:00

i'm listening to some fabulous flamenco music on Pandora (i loooove pandora) and doing some work on my computer and i noticed that the dogs are here next to me passed out completely on the floor. i know they seem to always gravitate to where ever i might be in the house but usually it's just one or two of the dogs, and right now i am noticing every dog (including our step-dog nadia) is in my office - sleeping contentedly.

this is the only pic of nadia i have right now.... she's a little monster :)

this is unusual because our dogs are hyperactive little shits and usually somedog is chewing, ripping, running, jumping, or barking. right now they are so cute and peaceful, snoring softly on the down comforter they dragged out of my bedroom. nadia and bibi's ears ae sticking straight up and louie passes gas every so often. syrus sometimes growls a bit in his sleep. nadia has one leg draped over louie. i wish i had a camera.

it must be the music because i'm a little drowsy myself... i think flamenco is my new favorite music to work to. it's very relaxing yet motivating. so far i really like Paco de Lucia, Rodrigo Y Gabriela, and Jaleo. i really think the dogs like flamenco, too.

in other unrelated news, i got my first bunny bite today at the feed store. he was a cute little bastard but he bit the heck out of my finger and made me bleed. johnny was laughing at me cause at first i was all like, aaawwww - canihavacutebunny pleeeeeze? then post-attack i was all, i'm gonna feed you to my other bunny you little *&%#$!

rainbows

2008-06-30T07:52:00.002-04:00

it's been pretty warm and dry in georgia lately - although not nearly as bad as it was this time last year. we are still in a drought but we seem to be getting rain more often. yesterday was a strange weather day. it was bright and sunny all day then around 6pm it got really dark and cloudy and it poured for about 10 minutes. the whole time johnny and i were stuck at another chamber of commerce shindig for my mom, but we got to witness the best part of it all. as we left the building, we noticed a vibrant rainbow right in front of us. then we realized holy crap - we can see the whole thing! it was truly a magnificent rainbow. then i saw another rainbow on top of the first one - like a double rainbow. we could see the whole thing so clearly, it was just beautiful. i wish i had a camera at that moment, but johnny and i watched the rainbow the whole way home because it seemed to follow us. we even saw it clearly from the highway. as we got closer to home, we noticed that the end of the rainbow seemed to be right over our neighborhood. in fact, the end of the rainbow seemed to be right over our house....

sometimes it's hard not to believe in god cause there are just some things quite unexplainable. i can't imagine what better sign from the heavens than a beautiful rainbow leading the way home. it made me happy to think we already have a pot of gold.

on the other hand, johnny pointed out, someone might have already followed that rainbow and is ransacking our house.....

roasted corn peanut salad

2008-06-26T11:43:00.003-04:00

**imagine gorgeous close-up photo here**

have you ever been to f2O? it's a casual fast-food fusion restaurant franchise that serves salads, sandwiches, etc. i went there for the first time a few weeks ago and ordered a wedge salad with the roasted corn peanut salad on the side. the wedge salad was okay, but the roasted corn peanut salad rocked my socks off. it was sweet, tangy, and salty but really fresh and crisp. the flavors complemented each other so well!

well, i've searched high and low for the recipe and couldn't find it. so i hacked it myself. a lot of this is to taste cause i just basically fiddled around with ingredients and measurements but i got the concept down and it turned out pretty damn good. it's a very satisfying side dish or snack on its own. without further ado...

Roasted Corn Peanut Salad

4-6 ears of fresh corn

1 big red bell pepper, finely diced

1 white onion, finely diced

3 medium carrots, fresh and julienned (or coarse grated)

2 or 3 cups dry roasted peanuts (more or less, depending on how crunchy you like it)

handful of fresh basil leaves (from your fabulous herb garden...)

1 cup balsamic vinegar

1/2 cup olive oil

1/2 cup agave nectar (or honey would probably work just fine)

2 tablespoons of toasted sesame oil

coarse ground sea salt and pepper to taste

1 lime, fresh squeezed to taste

okay, first thing to do is roast the corn. we ran out of propane on our grill so i just lightly brushed the corn with olive oil and broiled them in my oven. either way is fine! don't over-roast them, though - you still want the corn to have some fresh crunch to it.

finely dice the bell pepper and onion, combine with julienned carrots in big bowl. you could probably get really creative here and add fresh bean sprouts or maybe some fresh jalepeno if you want to add some kick. pretend you're making salsa...

in another smaller bowl, combine the vinegar, sesame oil, olive oil and agave nectar. whisk together and taste. if you like the taste, you're done - if it needs more sweet or tangy, add nectar or vinegar until you're happy :)

by now the corn should be done so take those out and carefully cut the kernels off the cob with a knife. be careful with the knife, i was impatient so i cut my kernels off before the corn cooled but you might want to wait until they are cool enough to touch. i just set the corn on it's wide end and cut vertically down the sides, rotating the corn as i go.

combine the corn with the other veggies in the big bowl, add peanuts and toss. drizzle in the vinegar mix, sprinkle some salt and pepper, squeeze in some lime juice, and throw in your chopped fresh basil and toss your salad some more, baby!

the result is yummy crunchy fresh sweet tangy salty delishiousness. you might have to play with the amounts of seasoning to your liking. i would say this dish would go great at barbeques. it's best served cold but ya know.. it's okay to eat it once it's done for quality control purposes...

sorry about not having a picture, not only did i misplace the stupid charger for my camera but the salad didn't stick around long enough to be photographed, anyways..... if i make some more, i'll definitely have a damn picture to show for it next time..

the big 3-0

2008-06-21T18:49:00.002-04:00

today is my 30th birthday.

it's weird but i always considered 30 to be the age where you HAVE to grow up. i kinda lumped the 20's in with the teenage years and 30 is the official milestone into adulthood. wow, was i ever wrong. i've been an adult since i was a kid. now that i am an adult, i am more like a kid. i think "adultness" is way over-rated. i still want to have fun and do silly things. i seem to be way more into it than i was as a child. i mourned the idea of turning 30 because i had given myself a deadline and that was my first mistake. i'm re-connecting with the things i missed as a kid and i love it. i want to see and do and learn and play with enthusiasm because i want my kids to have a childhood like an adventure. how can i give them that if i can't recognize it myself? so now, my 30's is going to be all about happiness - what it takes to be happy and going there. i learned my lessons the hard way in my 20's and now i think it's time to reap some rewards.

my firends have come to visit me. i even had some old firneds i haven't seen in a while visit... it is nice to see them again. we went for a hike around the lake this morning and had indian buffet for lunch. we took naps and played with babies and puppies. i'd say that's a happy day!

syrus to the rescue!

2008-06-17T17:18:00.005-04:00

today we took the dogs to the lake - again. those dogs really are spoiled. but the lake is gorgeous and peaceful so we enjoy it very much too. B and i went first with louie cause johnny was at the vet with syrus and bibi getting shots. afterwards, they met us at our favorite spot on the lake. when B and i strolled up to the spot, johnny was standing on the edge of the lake with his wallet, keys, cellphone, and cigarettes on the ground beside him. he was about to jump into the lake!

we arrived just as syrus was saving bibi's life. johnny had thrown the ball out onto the lake and bibi got caught up on a branch and couldn't escape. she would have drowned if left alone - but syrus dove in and swam to her! he swam right up and bumped into her so that she could break free of the branch and swim back. johnny was getting ready to rescue bibi but decided to see what syrus would do first. i am very proud and impressed with syrus because he always acted like bibi was a pain in his ass. now if that had been louie drowning out there, syrus would have pushed him under himself!

so, we realized that syrus's grumpy disposition is really just a facade because deep down inside, he truly loves his little sister....awwww....

this is one of the first photos of bibi and syrus, right after we adopted bibi and brought her home. syrus was moping. he's like, "is she seriously staying here?"

it's gonna be a little quieter

2008-06-16T16:49:00.003-04:00

so, a lot has happened in the past week. but i choose to view all of them as good things, despite what it may sound like. you know that saying, all things happen for a reason? well, i believe it. i, of all people, need lots of good reasons for everything. which is why it's OK that i no longer have a job. yes, i lost it - which makes me the fourth adult living in this house that has become unemployed within the last four months. we are a bunch of very intelligent, highly capable and qualified people without any jobs. i can't quite blame all of this on the economy, but it definitely played a part. so, where's the silver lining? well, we had to make a silver lining ourselves. johnny and i decided to put 110% of our effort into starting the business we have been thinking about for a while now. we have been brainstorming like crazy and made some moves in the past few days to get the ball rolling. and we are very excited. scared, but excited. is it completely insane to start a new business right now? or is it a smart move? will we be able to get financing or are banks scared to loan money to anyone right now? we shall see what the next couple of weeks holds for us, but we'll either make the business float or we'll be desperately searching for a new job. the stakes are pretty high but i'm willing to bet on us. if you're curious about what kind of business it may be, i'll give you a hint - it has to do with printed media :) wish us luck!

RIP stewie.

2008-06-09T09:42:00.003-04:00

we had to kill one of our cockerels this weekend. he was not doing so well. his butt turned black and he wasn't as interested in eating as before. we knew he was sick so johnny got to kill his first chicken. i didn't feel that bad cause it was a mercy killing but still - it was a little sad.

as for the remaining 8, they are on borrowed time. those little *&^%# destroyed my garden by roosting in my squash and pecking everything else to death. that's ok, though. i'm learning.

and yet - no eggs.

but i am happier than normal because i have managed to take a big step in personal improvement and started an exercise regimen with B that we have stuck to pretty well. i live in a beautiful neighborhood with lots of hills, some of them pretty steep and for about 45 mins, B and I walk around the neighborhood. lately, it's been a bit tougher cause of the humid heat, but we still do it. it feels quite good afterwards, too. i'm a little proud of myself by exceeding my doc's recommendation of exercising for 30 mins. 5 times a week. we've been walking nearly everyday.

i am a little worried about this heat, though. our utilities are going to be really high at this rate. plus, we are still in a drought. and the price of gas is really hurting. time to up the ante and make myself healthier, stronger, more frugal, and more thankful.

atlanta botanical garden

2008-06-05T08:56:00.011-04:00

last weekend a good friend and i visited the gorgeous atlanta botanical garden and took these marvelous pictures... i really can't add much commentary to these pictures so i'll let them speak for themselves... enjoy! :)

i do have to say this little guy is so green and cute! i love lizards. he almost looks like a baby iguana but he's just a little garden lizard. he sat there for a second eyeing me but let me take his picture before scampering off!

there were a bunch of moving sculptures around the botanical garden, this being one of them. we didn't take a whole bunch of pictures for some reason, but i really love the look of rock gardens...

isn't this orchid gorgeous? the orchid display was my second favorite - right behind the rainforest exhibit. you'll see why...

isn't this just breathtaking? well, i guess you'd have to be there in person to really appreciate it. those are roots hanging down from the really high ceiling above in this rainforest greenhouse. the roots hung almost to the ground, you have to walk through them and it's fantastic!

and finally, the piece de resistance! this absolutely gorgeous blown glass sculpture by artist Dale Chihuly is on display in the green house, and it's truly magnificent. this guy is awesome.

announcement

2008-06-03T09:11:00.003-04:00

in total contradiction of my recent post where i talked about blogging less, here is an important annoucement i need to make.

i am now a proud member of the atlanta pet chicken meetup. i seriously want to attend the next meeting because i have very important questions to ask, like:

how do you keep them from pooping all over the coop?

how do you get them to try new foods?

what really is the best method of slaughtering a chicken?

what do you do about the flies?

will all the roosters crow, or just the alpha male? are there alpha males?

when will i get any damn eggs?

does anyone have problems with their neighbors over the chickens?

the return of the housephone

2008-06-03T08:50:00.003-04:00

last friday on my day off i went to a check-up with my doctor and in the process somehow managed to get my cellphone disconnected. let's just say, VERIZON SUCKS. yes, they do. the lady called me up while i was IN the exam room and tried to corner me into paying my bill right then and there. well, i told her i couldn't pay her at that moment so she disconnected my line and johnny's. the funny thing is, she tone of her voice indicated that she really thought she was hurting me by shutting off my service. like she had a gun to my head, and i should be frightened and beg her not to cut it off. i honestly didn't care. in fact, i was fine with it. the only person that needs me to have a cellphone that bad is my mom and i feel no obligation to pay that much money to be at her beck and call. this woman obviously had no clue how much i didn't care about my damn cell phone. so it got turned off.

it was actually quite refreshing to not hear the annoying ringtone and then feel obligated to answer it whenever it rings. i rather dislike talking on the phone in general(excluding my bff's and my sis, of course). so we had to rely on the house phone for communication. we only have one house phone, and it is on the 2nd floor, in the office. it's mainly a fax machine, actually, and the only purpose it serves is to establish a DSL connection for my internet. I hate COMCAST, too. unfortunately, we have learned to tune out the sound of the house phone ringing so we never answer it. and if you do manage to hear it, you have to dash upstairs to answer before the fax kicks on. if this was to be our only means of using a telephone, it obviously wouldn't do.

so johnny installed a new jack and set up the cordless phone in the living room. this is the first time since i have lived in the house that i had a phone in any other room besides the office. and it was nice. i liked it. in fact, i LIKE having a house phone better than having a cell phone now. it's non-committal. i don't have to answer it. why? cause i could be out. or i could be not near the phone. or i could be outside. i have excuses not to answer!! this will work great on my mom.

well, she wasn't so happy about the blackout and made it clear that this will not do for her. she told me that i have to have a cell phone.

so i called up verizon on monday and paid the stupid bill and got my phone back on. ugh.

lazy lazy weekend

2008-06-02T11:28:00.002-04:00

i hardly did anything over my 3 day weekend. it was great. johnny and i basically lounged around the house. well, i mainly napped while johnny did random things like re-inforce the chicken barrier and screw handles on the coop. we are having a bit of trouble keeping the chickens from roaming onto the street. a few of my neighbors have come by to check out our birds so i think they'll be cool with having a mini chicken farm next door. unfortunately, jerky has begun to practise his crowing. right now he sounds like he has a sore throat.

i think i need to take a little break from blogging while i get certain things in my life straightened out. i have to re-examine my career/job issue and plan for my future a little bit. i am also trying to lose 15 by the next time i see my doctor which is in 3 months. i've been walking around the neighborhood and eating less so i a optimistic about losing weight but don't wanna jinx myself.

in the meantime, i will be posting less frequently. cause ya know, i blog way too much.

5 foods that are cheaper to grow

2008-05-28T16:31:00.002-04:00

i found this article on msn today and thought it was very interesting. i don't think i will be growing carrots again next year - they really are harder to grow (imo). i will also be planting lettuce now - time to get over my leafy vegetable phobia!

my ceyenne peppers aren't doing so good. i need to replace them with the leeks but i've been lazy. i also need to plant those damn sweet potatoes....

pictures of paradise

2008-05-28T09:12:00.004-04:00

well, the fence didn't last long as an effective barrier. the chickens have decided that the grass is far better on the other side. B and i must have chased the chickens from going into the street 3 times. once they were actually all hanging out right in the front lawn! the chickens can literally walk right through the fence. so a new project for this weekend will be reinforcing the chicken barrier.

we also realized that 9 chickens should not go through 40 lbs. of feed in one week. they are getting really big fast and eating a LOT. i'm afraid jerky is going to be sunday roast pretty soon. i liked the little guy - he follows me around the most. maybe we'll eat one of the smaller ones instead...

From SPRING 2008

it's been a long time since johnny and i were up at dry pond. it's a little piece of paradise with all the plants and ponds. the dogs just love running at top speed in the fields and lounging in the lush grass under the pecan tree. even the weeds at dry pond are awesome and beautiful. my mom's koi fish are friendly - they will eat pellets out of your hand. you can actually pet them. my friend was just fascinated with the koi so she wanted to bring her new baby and i wanted to show off my mom's crazy landscaping obsession to B. we also planned to fish in my mom's lake not far from dry pond. as soon as we got there, the dogs were out running and me, johnny, and B walked to the far edge of the property picking wildflowers and watching the dogs play.

From SPRING 2008

it wasn't long before we heard the splash. bibi found the spring and soon all three of them were splashing around in the stinky mud. i was busy snapping pictures of weeds. we came back to the lawn and played in the pecan tree. syrus had to prune it, first. B had to climb up and syrus even climbed up the tree! bibi wanted too, but she can't. ahhh... fresh air. sun. birds chirping. trees.

i have no clue what's in this bouquet, but it's pretty and i gave it to my mom :)

look at the size of this weed! it's huge! it had big, fat, furry leaves.

the berries on this bush look delicious. i wonder if they are edible?

according to johnny, they are not.

let's go bananas!

water lillies are so photogenic, aren't they?

B is practising cartwheels. you just can't resist doing a cartwheel on a lawn like this.

syrus went right to work. look at him in the tree!

B monkeyin' around...

now we come to the lake adventure. my mom had a bunch of her korean friends and their families over for a picnic and some fishing. the funny thing is, the only one who caught fish (besides my mom of course) was V's vegetarian husband, who promptly threw his fish back into the lake. Kiera (pictured below with my momma) almost jumped into the lake after the fish. she just couldn't believe why he would do something like that. so, to make up for it, he caught her a bigger fish.

did you notice that my mom is wearing two sun visors? she is ALWAYS wearing a visor, making her look like a perpetual tourist. the worst thing is, they are never plain visors. no, hers are always sparkly.

when we first arrived at the lake, i almost got the mazda stuck on a hill and almost tipped it into the lake. that was a little scary cause i don't think mazda mpv's were meant for bush hogging through thistle. the guys went through shoulder-high grass to try and find a suitable path to drive my mpv through but the weeds and grass were too thick. the dogs followed the guys and i guess louie didn't see the barbed wire fence and ran right into it....

we all got some minor boo-boos from being out in the wilderness (i found a tick on my thigh later that night!!) but poor louie got the biggest boo-boo of all - on his face, too. he heals fast, thankfully.

syrus and my mom look back at our camp from the boat on the lake.

so that was memorial day monday. it was a nice holiday and we remembered to thank the men and women who sacrificed their lives protecting our freedoms.

oh, i almost forgot - i joined blogcatalog and NaBloPoMo with the username seagrass. i still don't know how the hell to use twitter.

attn: bubble-wrap poppers!

2008-05-27T13:47:00.002-04:00

my friend at work just gave me a link to this site. if you have an addiction to bubble-wrap like i do, you have to check this out:

http://www.funmansion.com/games/bubble_wrap_pop.html

bloody monday

2008-05-27T09:10:00.006-04:00

**warning, this content may not be suitable for the squeamish** (no chickens were involved)

oh, it was an eventful weekend. well, eventful for me - other "normal" people might consider it boring.... anyways, things were going great once friday was over. it was a long weekend ahead of us and everyone was happy. we decided to go visit dry pond for some fresh air and beautiful scenery and fishing. we wanted to spend the night but that didn't work out so we spent all of monday at dry pond and my mom's lake (unnamed so far...). we made it a priority this weekend to clean the house. in an effort to run a more effecient household, we have all agreed on setting some goals for the house, and ourselves. i obviously need help in this department cause it's hard for only one person to organize and keep up what's going on. so i started a fridge inventory to keep a running tab on its contents and monitor spending and waste. i will be coming up with a cleaning schedule to help keep my very messy house somewhat under control. and B and V and i are resolving to lose some weight with exercise and diet - all of us together. i really really hope it works. unfortunately, it may mean i have to wear a bathing suit. ugh.

anyways, back to bloody monday. i guess you could also call it... yesterday. i woke up around 6:45 and let the chickens out and fed and watered them. i let the dogs out and sat outside a little bit. nobody else was awake. so i went back to bed and must have fell asleep because i missed the commotion. when i woke back up about 9:30, B was in the kitchen cleaning. i was impressed that she woke up and cleaned and she informed me that the dogs caught a possum and ate it in the kitchen (or dining room, depending on what side of the fridge you are standing). she spared me the anguish of cleaning up blood and guts and threw what remained of the poor creature on the bramble pile to be picked up by refuse. i felt so bad for the thing - it was just eating my chicken feed! somehow it must have wandered into the backyard right into the waiting jaws of three large dogs. B was right, there's no way i could have cleaned up that mess without losing my cookies.

then i remembered that earlier that morning i saw choco in the side yard carrying a rather large (dead) frog in his little mouth and eating it by the curb. i watched him chew off a leg and bite the frog several times. it didn't bother me, but when i went back to that spot i noticed the frog was still alive! and minus two back legs! it was a sad, sad, situation. i felt horrible for this pretty frog but i can hardly scold my cat for being a cat.

so, i made johnny move the frog from the curb over to my mother's backyard where hopefully some frog deity will have mercy on it and let him re-grow his legs. more than likely it will die, but i chose to believe there are frog deities. fairies, even. so that was bloody monday (morning). a lot more happened that day which i will probably have to continue in another post later. it was a beautiful weekend, hanging out with awesome people and animals. we put up a small wire fence to help keep the chickens from wandering onto the street. it's working so far. i am amazed that they seem to know where their home is. they stay close, so i let them roam all day. they mostly peck and scratch around or sit in the monkey grass or the straw pile. last night they even tucked themselves in bed! i was being lazy and didn't herd them into their coop and when i finally went out, they were already inside, sleeping! awesome!

i told you guys i was going to be the next georgia o'keefe! the magnolia tree in front of my porch is blooming! you can sit there and smell the scent of magnolia perfume the air - and enjoy the beautiful view as well!

our weekend was fun and productive! like i said, we resolved to gain control over the household so we busted ass and did a lot of cleaning. johnny did a lion's share of the landscaping, but look at the beautiousness of the porch now!!!

From SPRING 2008

we mulched the hibiscus with this really dark bark-y mulch, and put down a weed cloth under the pea gravel. we edged along both sides and johnny re-wired the landscape lights. B and i planted the marigolds and the lilies are growing happily. i moved all my herbs over to the greenhouse roof so we can still enjoy them from the porch but they are out of the way.

i also tackled the gargantuan task of cleaning out my closet. i thinned out my wardrobe and gave away a whole bunch of clothes i don't wear (or fit into) anymore. i made enough room for johnny's clothes by packing away our winter clothes under the bed. now we can share a closet! now all we have to do is organize and sort the sheets and blankets. since louie decided to take a shit in the bathtub the other night, B also scrubbed the bathroom down with some brand-new environmentally conscious cleaning products from target called "le scrub" by method. i like it.

my mom's garden

2008-05-22T12:43:00.008-04:00

my mother is the original green thumb in the family. she's a hardcore landscaper. her expertise is ponds, and she has many of them. her koi fish breed like rabbits. some of her most notable achievements are: building a lake (yes, a LAKE), building a driving range, installing several, several koi and non-fish ponds complete with waterfalls and fountains, building an outdoor wedding venue and outdoor kitchen (Dry Pond Garden), installing a fruit and nut orchard, and remodeling several homes. it may sound like she's a rich developer, but she actually did all of this with her own two hands. her garden at archwood (next door to my house) has been in gradual deterioration since she moved downtown a couple years ago, but it still looks lush and pretty. my dad is nowhere near as good a gardener as my mom, who can grown ANYTHING. she can pick a branch off of any plant and re-root it anywhere. she has quite a diverse collection of plants in all her gardens, some of them older than me! i made a huge slideshow of her archwood garden (and some of my chickens, of course), see if you can identify some of these plants! many of them are edible. i call archwood the secret garden, like the book... anyways see for yourself....

ugableghflppbb

2008-05-21T14:23:00.003-04:00

that pretty much sums it up. i die of boredom a little bit each day. i try not to gripe about my life too much cause i know nobody wants to hear it and pessimism is unhealthy. but seriously. i have it good compared to a great many people and i am fortunate. i am actually more happy overall now than i think i have ever been in my life. my only hang-up is i mourn the past too much. i dwell on how things should have been, and instead of focusing on how to change things, i get stuck. it's really quite frustrating and seeing as i don't have a god i can trust to just fix everything for me, i get pretty bummed about things i don't think the average person gets bummed about. this is something i've done for a very long time, as far back as i can remember! i have some ways of coping, but generally i do not handle stress very well. well, it may seem like i do but actually i don't. i perform relatively well under pressure but it takes a toll on me physically and mentally. then i get to marinate in resentment for a little while and that takes a further toll on me. see? it's a vicious cycle. so how do people deal with their stress, i wonder? how is it that they have a lot of the same issues i have (nobody is unique anymore, in terms of "problems") but they seem to deal with it and move on with life, as healthy and happy as before. is there something i am missing? a chemical? a technique learned in childhood?

boredom is my ultimate enemy. it causes me to ruminate too much. it causes me to mindlessly snack, or wander around the internet. it makes me want to sleep. it makes me want to do anything but what i am supposed to be doing. i am constantly bored at work. is that normal? it's tortuous for me cause i have to sit here and think about all the other stuff i could be doing at home, or in my life in general. i've realized that i am not the ambitious person my mother wants me to be - i am more of a homemaker, a teacher, a gardener, a caretaker, a nurse, a woman. i imagine all the feminists of the 60's would be highly disappointed in me, seeing as i spent 8 years to get a master's degree in architecture only to dream of being a housewife. i'm almost ashamed of it, but should i be? is it somehow demeaning cause it seems to be looked down on. i don't understand why women are expected to have a career and a family now, it just seems like there can't be both. one or the other. it's hard for me to make those kind of difficult decisions - take my licensing exam, or have children before my ovaries dry up? get LEED certified or save money for a baby? try to move up my position or spend more time preparing myself for having a family? how does one make a decision this tough? i can't even imagine what it would be like to be a single working mom, i just can't. it's a shame our country doesn't take care of it's women and children a little better. at least take good care fo the children so the women can worry less.

my nikon is back!

2008-05-20T14:16:00.004-04:00

i got my camera back from the shop the other day. of course they returned it without a drop of juice in the battery. i also forgot that i had left my charger at work, so my first test picture with my serviced nikon is of my desk at work. not exactly thrilling, but it'll do. i'm not so sure i am impressed with the overall quality of my nikon coolpix. it supposedly has 7.1 megapixels, which is way more than the sony i have been using but the images seem grainy and out of focus to me... plus the flash is horrible - makes everything look like a crime scene photo. i prefer non-flash photos, which requires just the right amount of (natural, preferrably) light. so yeah, here's my boring desk at work - coffee and tea to the left, dried eucalyptus in the back, and autoCAD on the screen - aaaaghhh. i hate being a cad monkey. i hate being an architect. but it pays the bills.

new book idea

2008-05-19T21:01:00.002-04:00

you know it's really a sad shame that most of the ideas i have become forgotten because i was too lazy to write it down, or i thought it was a ridiculous idea so i just mentally tossed it away (cause, you know, there's only so much room left inside my head...) but i think i need to vow never to lose an idea, no matter how ridiculous, again. and so here's my next idea; and i'm only sharing this cause i seriously doubt this idea will come to fruition. i really think there needs to be a comprehensive and totally practical book on bamboo. BAMBOO is the world's greatest plant. it is truly the most versatile vegetation that mother nature has gifted to us. i am by no means an expert, but i have seen a fair share of bamboo use in my lifetime and although my mind is feeble after work, i shall attempt to list as many uses as i possibly can. because i love bamboo.

well, first of all - it is totaly sustainable. it will grow and grow and grow some more. you almost can't stop it. i can't imagine how we could possibly run out of bamboo. (unlike oil).

it is fabulously green. i mean the color, not the pop buzzword of today. bamboo has so many beautiful shades of green - and it's all in your face, too! most other trees you see the bark then the branches, then the leaves - but bamboo is just a wall of emerald green BAM! right in your face. you don't have to look up to see the color. it's not just green, though. it's also a beautiful ochre-y shade of yellow, deep, almost black, greens, purple-y green, blue-y green, etc. i haven't seen a red bamboo, but i wouldn't doubt it if there is one.

bamboo grows redonkulously fast. like a foot a day fast! instant returns!

you can EAT bamboo! and it is delicious - you can fix it about a million different ways. cook it like you would asparagus, or zuchini. it would be fabulous on pasta, so good stir-fried, i like it plain, too. do not compare this to canned bamboo!! i'm not even sure that stuff is real. fresh bamboo shoots are so delicately crunchy and juicy, with a very fresh and mild flavor.

hello, you can eat it and BUILD with it! bamboo is also really really strong. the way the fibers grow give it superb tensile strength. BUT! the chambers created by the nodes also give it incredible compressive strength as well.

it's hollow! it's really strong AND lightweight! there's no better building material than that! you can make scaffolding a million stories high in about 3 hours with about 100 chinese men. you can build instant bridges, instant shelters, instant anything!

weapons. unfortunately bamboo is also a great weapons material. it's strong and lightweight which means you can swing it really fast and it freakin' hurts!! and you can also make all kinds of torture devices which shall remain nameless....

pandas (and dogs) love to eat it. in fact, i'm sure chickens probably love bamboo, too. it's high in nutrients and also water content. it is a very good source for immediate energy in the form of carbs yet sustains you with it's soluble fiber.

ok, so now about the book. what i'm saying is, why isn't there a practical, hands-on manual to all things bamboo for the average household? all kinds of recipes, ideas, building projects, etc. us asians have been taking advantage of this most resourceful grass for centuries and its uses remain unlimited. i LOVE having bamboo growing in my backyard. i use it for everything, from eating to having a nice privacy screen from my neighbors, to making beautiful trellises for climbing plants (like my peas!) you can make temporary cold frames, gates. fencing, whatever. i truly believe it is an essential for every homesteading family.

you can make flooring, utensils, plates & bowls, cups, hats, purses, rugs, furniture, clothing, paper, linens, freakin' robots, probably; food, shoes, teepees, and the list goes on and on...

white cocks and black pussies

2008-05-18T20:22:00.013-04:00

we've learned a lot in the past week. i for one, have learned that chickens are like pets. they have personality, and it's surprising to say some intelligence as well.... we have decided that we have 4 males and 5 females. in order of size from largest to smallest we have given the cocks the following names: Jerky, Roast, Pot Pie, and Stew(ie). We have named a few of the girls, from smallest to largest they are: Henrietta, Estelle, and Phyllis. there are two nameless girls, which i humbly request from my readers to help me name. Weezy, i know you got some good ones. so, yesterday morning while we were naming our poultry, we got footage of the chickens and cats co-existing somewhat peacefully.

everything was going swimmingly until i tried to go back into the fenced-in backyard to get some more chicken feed. syrus made a run for it and slipped past my legs and went straight for the nearest chicken, which was one of the girls - estelle maybe - and pinned her down by my garden. once that happened, bibi and louie were out of the gate in a flash and i whirled around in slow motion to see louie run straight into the coop and bibi tackle a big male under the tree. i thought massive bloodshed was surely going to happen but my screaming actually made the dogs stop attacking and i got them back inside the fence. syrus was guilty, and he knew it - but deep inside he was thrilled with himself. the chickens were fine. i gave them some food and they soon forgot all about it. they don't care for the table scraps as much, but i covered some watermelon rind in chicken feed and now they are eating it.

i also did something unexpected this weekend. i chopped off all my hair. it used to be halfway down my back and now it is just a touch longer than chin length. it's a dramatic difference. i've never had hair this short before in my life. well, my first year of college it was almost this short but not quite. i'm not 100% sure it suits me, but everyone seems to like it. plus, i don't have those ratty dead ends and my hair catching on everything. i don't have to worry about dragging my hair across my food at the table or getting it rolled up in the car window. i worry that i look like edna from the incredibles....

and we have decided to enter in some videos to america's funniest videos of louie trying to swim. he actually got it figured out today when we took the spoiled brats to the lake again. he's even beat bibi to the ball a couple of times. but we've got some good footage and i plan to take more videos of the dogs howling with my harmonica and louie wrestling with bibi from under a blanket. watch the videos below to see what i have to pick from to send in. tell me what you think by casting your vote in the poll to the right of the page. thanks!

louie swimming take 1:

here's take 2:

here's the original video i posted a while back, maybe this one will work?

oh, i almost forgot - here's a video of choco and moto, pretending not to notice the chickens, or pretending not to care... in truth, they're a little scared of them.....

wet chicken

2008-05-15T18:31:00.016-04:00

sorry to leave you hangin' but i will talk about this post title later. first, i have to post some pics i've taken in the last couple weeks. i'm behind only because spring is beautiful and there's been so much going on and that means an endless and vicious cycle of snapping photos. i have to backtrack a bit and show off this gorgeous azalea i have growing next to my carport. i didn't even know this was there!! and below we have a baby tomato on my cherry tomato bush on the patio. it's so cute! but, unfortunately some bug or something decided he was allowed to eat a little hole into my tomato!

also on the patio, hanging in baskets, are two strawberry plants that had sprouted some cute little white flowers and now these baby berries have appeared! it's raining today, can you tell?

this is the big magnolia tree right in front of my porch and it is covered with buds! we are going to have a gorgeous magnolia here shortly. i love magnolias so much, it just reminds me of georgia. kind of like palms remind me of savannah and ginkgos remind me of korea. oh, i just can't wait until this baby blooms! i'm going to be the next virtual asian georgia o'keefe! by the way, people; don't ever plant english ivy. anywhere. ever.

and this is my soon to be new pond! johnny put in an outdoor outlet on the porch just so i could have a pump and keep some koi fish in a big barrel. what a handy man. he even made me a little shelf to support my mermaid fountain. no, that is not a bag of weed, it's catnip. the weed's are in the backyard! hee-hee... anywhoo, i'll have pictures galore of this setup once it's up and running. see my pink harmonica? that's betsy. the dogs love her and i think my neighbors hate me. i like to play betsy on the porch after work and watch the chickens.

ok, now here's the fun part of this post where you, the reader, gets to participate in! let's play one of these things is not like the other, like sesame street. or was that electric company...? anyways the pic below is my little veggie garden and a mysterious plant just appeared next to my newly sprouting cucumbers. just to the right...between the cucumber and watermelon. i did not plant that there. it doesn't look like a weed. it's a very vigorous and strong stalk. here's my theory: it's either a papaya, mango, avocado, asparagus, potato, leek, garlic, ginger, cauliflower, broccoli, or cabbage. all the food we eat on a regular basis. that's because i may have dumped my old compost pile there a bit prematurely...

here's the first tomato-ling from my hybrid roma tomato bush. next year i would prefer some heirlooms (but seeds are expensive and damn, i can't use them all!). but for now, i'll eat whatever i can grow and be thankful. he's a cute little bugger, aint he?

i know you probably thought i forgot all about the bamboo shoots since the chickens arrived, but trust me, i haven't! i've been taking photos but they keep outgrowing me. these bamboo are what, almost 2 weeks old now? they are sprouting branches and the husks are falling off in piles around each shoot.

look at little miss bibi. she is doing great. the doctor is pleased with her healing and she seems to be in a lot less pain. she's looking healthier and playing more. she's also got a severe princess complex. can you just hear what she's saying in this picture?

and now we come to the wet chickens. here they are, in all their wet poopy glory. they were brilliantly white with just a little poo staining underneath but now each feather is variegated with poo. they stink! and they want FOOD. food. food. food. food. food. look at this cocky bastard!

i think i'll name her henrietta. she just looks like a henrietta. if she's a he, it'll be henry. today johnny and i were having pho at a favorite vietnamese restaurant when i realized (to my complete horror) that i left the chickens out of their pen. my hands flew to my mouth and all i could do was gasp! and just as i was saying, "i think i left the chickens out of the coop", some woman walked by and heard me and started laughing out loud. well, it turns out i didn't forget to put the chickens back in their pen. but it's still a recurring nightmare.

blog tagging

2008-05-13T16:34:00.005-04:00

ok, so i admit i'm a little behind. i had no clue what blog tagging was until a few months ago when bloggers that i liked to read got tagged and shared whatever information was requested and then tagged other bloggers. it's kind of like the popular kid's game, internet version. i never got tagged, didn't know the "rules" of tagging, didn't know anything, basically. but then i saw more and more of it and thought to myself, man this is kind of dumb. i get the concept - you know, share random bits of info about yourself to total strangers so you feel like you're "getting to know each other". but what i wonder is, why can't there be sharing useful information tagging going on? well, maybe there is, i just don't know about it. see, in reality, i'm just a dork trying to play with the big kids. so instead of waiting for someone to have pity on me and tag me i am going to make up my own tag and invite my own friends to play so :P!

in case you're like me and haven't the foggiest idea of how to play, here are (my) rules: if i mention your name and link to your blog in this post, you have to answer the question and tag another 5 people by naming them in your post. don't forget to alert them by commenting on their blog and let them know you tagged them. my tag is going to have a farm-y theme (naturally) and it goes something like this:

1. Name one of your favorite flowering plants and any info you may have off the top of your head about it.

2. Name one of your favorite farm animals or pets and explain why.

3. Name one of your favorite vegetable/fruit/nut plant/tree to grow and show picture(s) of it.

4. Name a plant or animal that you want to grow/raise in the near future.

5. Name a home remedy that you use for whatever ailment and share the recipe/technique.

that's it! wouldn't it be interesting to see what other people have to say about that? i think so! so, the people i am going to tag are:

1. my bff Vanessa, who just started her own blog and will hopefully grace us with a link to it in the comments.

2. Ellen, my first internet buddy :) http://everydaycraftygoodness.wordpress.com/

3. Amy @ http://www.magicalmuse.typepad.com/

4. sister bluebird, a new aquaintance @ http://sisterbluebirdgardener.blogspot.com/

5. Tammie @ http://unusuallyunusualfarmchick.blogspot.com/

i think it would be interesting and valuable information from these folks, and i am excited to see what they have to say. i'll answer the questions, too :)

1. one of my favorite flowering plants is the TEA OLIVE tree. i just love the way the flowers smell when it's in bloom. it smells kind of like a cross between honeysuckle and tuberose.

2. my favorite animal (besides dogs, of course) is goats. i've never had one, but i have been around goats, watched videos, and read a lot of stuff about them. i think they are absolutely adorable as babies and it's so cute how they like to bounce around, head-butting. i think it's endearing that they'll eat anything and they all have personality. i love goats!

3. my favorite crop to grow is peas. because they grow so fast and without fail, and they are fun to watch with the tendrils grabbing whatever they can. plus, they build up the soil with nitrogen and who doesn't love to eat peas? i don't have a picture of mine right now, but i'll come back and post it later :)

4. something i would like to grow in the future - well, there are actually many things. i'd like to grow leafy vegetables. for some reason, spinach and lettuce and rhubarb and all things leafy intimidate me as a gardener. i'm admittedly inexperienced but i've tried to grow leafy things and it never works! they just sprout and then die.

5. haha - i almost forgot this one myself! a favorite home remedy of mine is cranberry juice. frequent bladder infections (and UTI's) plague the women in my family and if you've never had one, consider yourself lucky. unfortunately, i hate all things cranberry. especially the juice. but, miraculously cranberry juice has worked every single time. i will happily chug a gallon of the stuff to make a bladder infection go away. i did find a cheat, though - cranberry pills! yes, you can get then in a little tablet, and i take a few of those if i feel a UTI coming on. but for a full on bladder infection, chug a gallon of cranberry juice!

chickens are stupid?

2008-05-13T09:04:00.003-04:00

sorry no pictures as of right now but i wanted to say more about the chickens, who are nameless still. i daresay chickens are stupid. last night was the second night i had to manually place each chicken into their henhouse. they figured out how to get out of it in the morning but don't remember how to get back in at night. so i had to pick up each one and place them together in their house. which is kind of fun, but a pain in the ass, too. i hope they figure out how to get inside at night soon.

but they have figured out that i am the source of food and fresh hay. when i go up to their pen clucking like a dumbass, they all poke their heads up and watch me coming, instead of running away. and when i open the door they come up to me! this morning they were even trying to eat the feed out of my cup before i could put it down. it's kinda cute. they all crowd around me, peeping.

yesterday i let them out of their pen for a few minutes to see what they would do. they all came out and started scratching and pecking. i had a bamboo stick to herd them if they started flying all over the place but they didn't go far from the pen. i got them back inside with no problems. a couple of my neighbors were walking past my house when i was herding the chickens back into the pen with my bamboo stick. i'm sure they think i am nuts.

did i mention that B bought me a harmonica the other day? it's a cheap plastic translucent pink one, but i love it and wanted one for a while. now, i come home and practice my harmonica on the front porch. i watch my chickens and garden grow. all i need now is a straw hat and some overalls. i wanted to start a bluegrass band that covers 80's pop but i'm having a hard time recruiting a banjo player and fiddler...

observations on poultry

2008-05-11T10:50:00.004-04:00

well, i've spent some quality time with my birds and so far i have noticed these things:

we have way too many chickens.

they all pretty much look alike.

the only differences is size, and we have 3 big ones, 1 medium, and 4 small.

they really prefer their chicken feed over strawberries and apples.

they don't trust me.

they stink, and they poop anywhere and everywhere.

i think we have roosters in the mix.

they are pretty stupid. we had to put them in their henhouse at night.

they are warm, slightly squishy and soft.

they like to boss each other around.

they fluff up when they sit down to sleep.

i think they can fly.

they're here! calling all chicken advice-givers!

2008-05-10T11:45:00.004-04:00

we have fowl! my mom came by with 20 chickens! i told her several times we only need 4!! she just came over and kept throwing in one chicken after another in the pen and now we have 9 chickens. they are the typical chicken farm chicken and about 6-8 weeks old (we're guessing). we don't know if they are all females or not. they have sparse feathering and kinda stink. but they still make those cute chickie peeping noises.

they're pretty scared, too. they are warming up to being in there, and to me a little bit too. they have not gone inside the nesting box, partly because we haven't put in an adequate ramp yet (working on that now). i put some mixed grain and fresh water in there, and some hay and sand. they seem to be happy, pecking away at bugs. they poop. it's gross. our eggs are coming out of that same hole. ew. but, it will be a while before we get any eggs. i'm thinking we are going to fatten them up and start eating the big ones and let the smaller ones grow and lay eggs.

the dogs were excited. choco is a bit intimidated but curious. i don't think moto is aware of the new roommates he's got. and i'm a little paranoid about our neighbors protesting...

we let the dogs come out and sniff around the pen. louie knows chicken tastes good. they are hiding under the nesting box right now. i was wondering if we can give the chickens baths? they are white and covered in poo. if you know anything about chickens, leave me some pointers, i could use it!

the lazy bums

2008-05-10T11:35:00.005-04:00

this morning i was awake at 7:30 a.m. and excited. in a couple hours, i'll have my chickens. i tried to wake the household up, but nobody even budged. i laid in bed and snapped pictures of my sleeping beauty (bibi, not johnny...). i realize she is just a dog, but i love her to death. she is such an awesome dog, so laid back.

i love this picture - it pretty much shows how much she gets loved on. she's used to it, too. when i kiss her, i sneak in a little nibble and when i come home from work, she pins me down and licks my face and sneaks in her own little nibbles.

bees

2008-05-09T11:26:00.002-04:00

my mother and i want to start raising bees in our backyards. i think we will start off with one hive. i'm in charge of research and she'll probably be the funds manager. johnny isn't enthusiastic about keeping bees but i am! there's a lot of news lately about bees disappearing and it's quite alarming, considering how much we rely on them to pollinate our food! did you know every thrid bite of food was brought to us by bees? burt's bees was giving away seeds but they have run out. you can still plant bee-attracting plants in your yard, though. check out these resources:

http://pollinator.org/

http://organicgardening.com/

http://www.burtsbees.com

yay! it's beach time!

2008-05-08T08:45:00.002-04:00

i almost totally forgot about going to the lakes and rivers around here during this time. it seems like i've been absorbed in gardening and home improvement this year. but yesterday afternoon we (i) decided to take the dogs to lake erin, right around the corner from our neighborhood. the dogs freakin' love that place. bibi starts whining as soon as we pull into the park and once we are out, she takes off into the water. as you may remember, last year louie tried to swim. he didn't get much opportunity to practice but he seemed a little more confident this year. it was still hilarious.

garden photos

2008-05-07T11:54:00.006-04:00

pictured above: cherry tomato bush in big red pot, peppermint in small wooden planter, lavender in white ceramic pot, pineapple sage in tall white ceramic pot behind post. on the steps are two stoneware pots with bulb flowers that i do not remember the name of. in the big pot with the hay, cuttings from the remains of a dying fig tree than i am hoping will take root (using rooting hormone) but i am not very hopeful that it will work....

in the background, under the hay is a row of various asiatic lilies and caladuims, just sprouting. on the deck is a lemon thyme plant, citronella candle, cinnamon basil, sweet basil, leeks, some kind of ground cover plants, and a lemon balm plant in the terracotta. also, a waiting to be planted jasmine bush - smells awesome! oh, and a pair of dirty socks.

i realize i may be the only person in the world fascinated with watching bamboo growing, but damn, look at those shoots! those are 4 days old! louie has been a good boy and not knocked any more of them over.

johnny and i made these steps leading up to my parent's house (next door) with leftover cement from our stepping stone experiment (which failed). it feels a lot safer walking up and down that little hill now.

and of course, my garden! the peas have come up, as well as the cucumbers and even the carrots have teeny little sprouts coming up! i just love love love my little garden.

and even though i said i wouldn't post any progress pics until it was finished, i had to show off my first chicken! moto is ready to meet his new little friends....

korean feast

2008-05-05T22:59:00.003-04:00

tonight we made korean for dinner. my stepbrother had already boiled bamboo shoots so i just sliced them and mixed them with the ingredients from this recipe and fried some kal-chee (ribbon fish) and cooked my glutinous mix rice with all kinds of barley and millet and rice. we ate it with seasoned roasted seaweed and spicy candied cuttlefish. oh, and i made denjang jigae (soybean tofu stew) too. it was a very healthy meal.

johnny is making good progress with the chicken coop. we had a bit of a disagreement on the color of the coop, and it's sheathing material. he wants some boring "barnyard" style coop, with red shingles. i want a more post-modern style, painted the beautiful deep blue and sheathed in clear corrugated plastic. we'll see who shall prevail. i think our chickens deserve to have pride in their residence. i think, as the qualified architect of the family, whatever i say goes.... i won't post anymore progress pictures until the finished product so you'll just have to come back in a few days and find out!

worms :)

2008-05-05T09:16:00.003-04:00

to hell with trying a new post layout. i was experimenting for the last couple of posts and have now decided it just isn't working out. oh well. yesterday johnny and i planted the hibiscus bushes and re-grading the ground where the big boxwood bushes used to be by the front sidewalk. there are a ton of roots and when we disturbed the soil, all these red worms appeared! so we quickly picked as many as we could to put in the new compost pile (which was attracting bugs). some of them i had to pull out of the ground, which was kind of gross - especially if one accidentally got ripped in half - eeewwww.... but we got a good number of them and they are now happily feasting away on our rotting kitchen scraps.

i didn't realize just how fast the bamboo shoots were growing until i went behind our shed. B and i came across several HUGE bamboo shoots - some of them already way taller than us and fat, too! i'd say this one was about 15' tall with about a 4" diameter. that's BIG!

weekend in pictures

2008-05-04T12:07:00.010-04:00

look at how much the bamboo has grown overnight, i'd say about 3 or 4 inches. it's funny how the bamboo does not grow on the little trail that the dogs have carved in the ivy going up to Marge's fence. hopefully enough bamboo stalks will mature to provide a nice little screen. unfortunately, louie and syrus love to knock over the shoots and chew on them!

i'm going to harvest some shoots today and make some delicious dishes with them.

today johnny and i went to home depot (boo) and got a few odds and ends for the coop he's building. i bought some $5 gal of dark blue oops paint and white exterior semi-gloss for the trim. i also got four bales of hay, which i had to cram into my mazda. fun!

louie was posing for me this morning so i took some paparazzi shots. look at him, seducing the camera. holding his football and panting lightly. he was wagging his tail a bit, too. he loves to have his picture taken!

syrus hates it. bibi doesn't care either way, but seriously she need to be on the cover of a magazine. i know i'm sick...

i also decided to start inventory-ing our fridge to keep on top of what we have in there so we can come up with meals to make without rooting through the fridge. i am thinking about making this into an excel spreadsheet and color coding them. i think i can make a nice little system here!

here is the official week #2 photo! wooohoo! it's a little late but you can see clearly that the seedlings are taking off! i also planted peas & beans around the teepee which have just started to come out of the ground. i couldn't resist myself at home depot and bought a few more plants - a climbing jasmine to plant near the back porch and a sweet basil, cinnamon basil, and leeks seedlings.

here is the progress thus far of the coop. it's very sturdy and well-crafted. johnny is doing a wonderful job! seriously, it's more like a chicken bunker! well, they are gonna need all the protection they can get - choco will be surrounding their compound waiting for the first opportunity, i'm sure...

bamboo shoots!

2008-05-02T20:54:00.010-04:00

this year i have decided to document the amazing speed at which bamboo grows. last spring i saw a bamboo tree grow to 15' tall within a week. you have a pretty small window of opportunity to harvest the shoots, so timing is critical. this year, i plan to let a majority of the shoots grow into their full size so i can have some privacy from my neighbor, Marge. bamboo is actually a grass and there are many varieties - from black to purple and all kinds of sizes. i don't know the specific variety we have growing here, but they make for tasty grilling! my mom marinates these young bamboo shoots korean-style, with lots of red pepper paste (kochujang). right now is just about the perfect time to harvest, before they get more than about a foot high, but taller than 6". you just knock them over with your foot. there is rain in the forecast so i am betting that by this time next week, we'll have a lush bamboo forest. i think i will post a recipe for bamboo shoots - as a separate post.

for now, i wish to update on the status of bibi, our precious little furball. bibi had a follow-up appointment yesterday and the doc says she is doing good. although, she does lick her boo-boos too much. her is our beautiful little girl. doesn't she look happy? look at that grin! she has definitely been a lot happier dog, and spoiled rotten, too. sleeps in bed with us every night, curled up next to me with her blocky head on my pillow. she's one tough little cookie, though.

so yeah, so far we are relieved.

and even moto is looking better. he likes the new porch and most of all, he likes B. she stroked him so good the other day he drooled all over her lap. i think moto's in love.

oh, and my kinoki pads arrived!! that was actually faster than i though it would. if you have never heard of kinoki, they are "detoxifying" pads that you attach to the bottom of your feet while you sleep. it's supposed to draw out toxins through your body and out of your feet. i saw it on an infomercial. it's my guilty pleasure. every once in a while, i'll actually buy something i see advertised on tv just to see if it's really that great. (i know they are largely scams) so far i've gotten the miracle blade knife set, a couple of magic bullets, an aromatherapy showerhead, press-on accent lighting, and now these pads. i think they were about $24. i have yet to try them out, but i'll keep you posted.

oh, and it came with a free eye patch thing - it's korean! i probably could have bought this at the flea market on buford hwy....

stir-fry bamboo shoots

2008-05-02T20:30:00.006-04:00

ok, this is a nice quick & easy recipe that whips up pretty fast and goes with anything. we eat it as a side dish with rice and broiled salmon necks (yummmm). i'll make them tomorrow and post a picture but for now i'll just write out the recipe (from my mom, so you know it's legit):

garlic stir-fry bamboo shoots

2 or 3 tender fresh bamboo shoots (sorry, the canned stuff won't work)
1 - 2 tablespoons minced garlic, to taste
a generous glug of toasted sesame oil
1 tablespoon lightly roasted sesame seeds
1/2 tablespoon fish sauce (or dash of salt, to taste)
1 or 2 finely sliced chile peppers (if you want some heat)
1 small onion

first, blanch the shoots by bringing a stockpot of water to a vigorous boil and let shoots boil for about a minute, then cut off heat. let the shoots rest in the hot water for about 5 mins. drain and let cool a bit. peel off the outer layers (like corn) of purple husk. chop off any tough ends. cut the shoot in half lengthwise and slice finely. let drain on paper towel.
heat frying pan on medium high and saute the onion, chile pepper, and garlic for a minute, then add the shoots. add the fish sauce (or salt) quickly stir-fry until things get tender but not limp. add the sesame seeds and fry for a minute more. you're done!

you may have to play around a bit with the amount of salt/pepper/garlic to suite your tastes. this is a great side dish to keep in the fridge (it lasts a pretty long time, freezes well). the next recipe will be spicy grilled bbq bamboo shoots, but i'll save that for later.

news you can use

2008-05-02T09:17:00.002-04:00

i realized the other day while driving home from work that not everybody knows what i know. and i just took it for granted that they did. for example: last week my boss took me to one of his vistage meetings to hear a speaker talk about nutrition. vistage is a membership for ceo's who want to better themselves, better their business, etc. anyways, i tried to keep my eye rolling to a minimum because the whole thing was lame. well, lame to me. so the guy blabs on about eating the right proportions and talks about fiber and protein and yada yada yada - like who hasn't heard all of this before? he seriously expected these people to pack a small cooler with protein and veggies everyday and take it everywhere so that you can eat 6 times a day. he's also a bodybuilder. that right there made me tune him out. he is not your average person and therefore knows not what he demands. anyways, he had this HUGE secret to share. he said it would be LIFE CHANGING and that it was actually illegal for him to tell us this. now, this perked me right up cause it sounded fantastic. i was anxiously waiting for him to reveal the mystery of a good looking body. finally, he picks up a small bottle and with a huge grin, pronounces that he has found the ultimate solution. stevia. stevia. i accidentally laughed out loud and then had to play it off. he passed it around so everyone could have a taste and there was much ooohing and aaahing. i was quite disappointed. stevia was his ace in the hole? who the hell doesn't know about stevia? hello? why is it illegal for him to tell us about it? because the sugar industry has literally outlawed the promotion of stevia as a sugar substitue. crazy, huh? anyways, i left the meeting early cause there was nothing else this guy could have said that i didn't already know. i know i sound extremely pompous. but come on, who doesn't know about stevia? in this day and age, there is information everywhere! tips, articles, books, blogs, forums, etc etc. how can any person on any kind of diet/nutrition kick not know about using stevia and eating lots of soluable and insoluable fiber and eating protein only the size of your palm? duh!!

then it occured to me that maybe I'm the one who doesn't realize something. maybe i'm just a freak of nature, that i obsessively research stuff and squirrel away information like a packrat? yes, you only have to look at the files on my computer and the number of bookmarks i have to know this. i have over 3,000 bookmarks. and i don't normally bookmark a single page or article unless it's really good. i bookmark entire websites chock full of information both common knowledge and obscure. i know shit that i have no reason to know. and then an epiphany: would i be doing a good deed by sharing any of this info? i mean, half the blogs on the web are tutorials or how-to videos, lists & tips. i don't want to be regurgitating anything already online - but then maybe the people who read my blog don't know about those websites? maybe they don't have the time or inclination to root through all the crap to find the good stuff?

can ya tell i'm bored at work today?

back to stevia. if you don't know what it is, it's a plant. it is a natural sweetener - which means no weird chemicals, no calorie overload, no insulin rush. it's like 400,000 times sweeter than sugar or something like that. you only need a 1/4 teaspoon of the diltuted stuff to equal a whole tablespoon of sugar. use it for sweetening everything, you can find it with the herbal supplements (it's illegal to promote it as sugar, so it won't be in that section of the store). there's a comapny called sweet leaf that makes a product and you can also find it at trader joe's.

so this morning in my daily perusal of google reader, i come across this very handy article called 20 things you can use twice before throwing away. isn't that handy? check it out.

oh, Atlanta... what has happened to you?

2008-05-01T11:58:00.002-04:00

today i happened upon two separate articles online that list the top cities for traffic congestion and pollution. guess what? yup, ATL is on both lists! and pretty high up on the traffic list, coming in at #2, behind houston. It's #6 for particle pollution and tied with San Diego at #12 for ozone pollution.

10 years ago, i don't think Atlanta was even on either list. so, wtf happened? well, everybody and their freakin grandmother decided to move down south, where it's warmer and there are more jobs. unfortunately, Atlanta's infrastructure was not up to par with the influx of new residents. also, Atlanta is one of the most sprawled urban / suburban cities. you HAVE to commute to get anywhere.

i remember the city back when there was way less traffic and better air. i wish it could go back to that sometimes but all cities are supposed to grow, right?

on the economy

2008-04-30T16:54:00.002-04:00

you cannot escape all the talk about recession anymore. it's in every newspaper, radio, website and conversation. what i don't understand is how exactly we got to this point, because from my perspective, things look really dismal. fed cutting rates + falling dollar value + high fuel costs + high unemployment + rising food costs = ?????? what does this all mean? is this the year we fall? in a way, i'm kind of hoping it is. i think we need a wake-up alarm call as americans. we need to know that our country is only as great as we make it and hold ourselves accountable to it's prosperity. i know the average person feels helpless to make any difference but how do you know if you don't even try? i think in order to taste sweetness you have to know what bitter is, and our generation knows nothing of bitterness. we spend like crazy, hurt each other, hurt ourselves and blame everyone else. we have to evolve into a more responsible society and i am hoping that if we do enter a depression (i already consider this a recession, despite what "experts" say), it will act as a catalyst for change.

a good thing about being korean...

2008-04-30T10:02:00.002-04:00

we have adorable babies...

korean baby singing hey jude

hello! good morning! johnny is supposed to be building my coop today but is now helping clean out one of my mom's rental houses. it was really cold yesterday and last night, almost freezing! my veggies made it through OK, though.

veggie garden grow!

2008-04-29T09:38:00.005-04:00

well, it's been a week since johnny built my raised veggie garden, and i have since planted the following: yellow onion, zuchini, yellow squash, sweet green bell pepper, ceyenne pepper, roma tomato, beefsteak tomato, watermelon, yellow wax bean, peas, green beens, okra, carrots, and cherry tomato (on the patio). I also have a hanging basket of strawberry plants and various herbs. i looooove picking the leaves and smelling them. i have pineapple sage, lemon balm, lemon thyme, peppermint, and lavender. i am going to take progress pictures as i go along, so the official snapshot for week one is this:

sorry that it's all out of focus. i'm still waiting on the return of my nikon. also, the garden has advanced beyond this significantly since this photo was taken. i am very curious to see how much this little garden can actually produce. i still want a pmpkin patch somewhere but i still have to figure that one out. johnny is building me a chicken coop!! i can't wait to see it!! i can't wait to have chickens!! i might even build a small koi pond this year....

and last night, in another indian cooking extravaganza, B and i made a feast. everything absolutely from scratch, too. i made potatoes and peas samosas (which came out better than i imagined), B made tadka dal and saag paneer and johnny made tandoori chicken and tofu - from scratch! imagine that, my small town redneck made indian tandoori from scratch! we topped everything off with a super sweet seedless watermelon. its'gooood!

bibi is oprah

2008-04-28T15:02:00.006-04:00

omg, this is hilarious. on dogster you can take a quiz to find out what clebrity your dog is most like. i did bibi first, and she turns out to be like oprah. i'm gonna do syrus and louie next...
Wow, your dog is Oprah!
Oprah
The Host with the Most
When Bibi barks, people listen. Yes, indeed, Bibi is Oprah Winfrey.
A true rags-to-riches story, Bibi is a comeback pet who has not only survived a troubled start, but uses her success to lend a helping paw to others. Well-rounded and hard-working, Bibi has re-written the rules of stardom and continues to spread her influence throughout the animal kingdom. Still a down-home country girl, Bibi's one weakness is the chow that she knows from her youth, and she's not afraid to gobble up a little gravy every now and then. Bibi manages to keep her positive reputation intact, despite being hounded by the press and her thousands of diehard fans everywhere she goes. Bibi is smart, creative and innovative and has used these qualities to build up an empire the likes of which have never before been seen.

louie
Wow, your dog is Johnny Knoxville!
Johnny Knoxville
Up for Anything
The kind of pet that can leap tall fences in a single bound (or not, but give it a shot anyhow), louie is the original Jackass, Johnny Knoxville!
Going through the pain so you don't have to, louie knows that he trots a fine line between funny and stupid, but he doesn't care—he's laughing about it all the way to the pet store. His over-the-top antics make you grimace with fear and you often find it hard to believe that he actually enjoys playing the class clown. But louie laps it up and continues to defy the odds, despite your warnings and concerns. Other males in the pack tend to be a little jealous of louie, but the females find him simply dreamy. A die-hard good ol' boy, louie is more of a General Lee type than a Knight Rider, but give him enough time to think things through and he's sure to find a way to wreck both vehicles at the same time.

haha... syrus got
Wow, your dog is Will Ferrell!
Will Ferrell
The Comedian
Keeping a straight face around syrus is a cheek muscle-wrenching nightmare. Try as you may, but giggling is inevitable because syrus is comedian Will Ferrell!
For a while syrus was just funny on Saturday nights, but that's all changed now that he's taken his act on the road. Whether he's being silly in real life or on the silver screen, syrus has a true knack for making people crack up. syrus has even managed to make the crossover to the cyberwebs, where he delivers raw, fresh, uncooked humor to his countless cyberpet fans. A fast runner, syrus runs marathons when he's not dreaming up his next slapstick routine. Widely talented and able to impetsonate any number of two and four-legged critters, syrus's fans will be lapping it up for a long time to come.

all this rain!

2008-04-28T10:11:00.004-04:00

we have been dowsed with about 3 or 4 inches of rain in the past four days. that's a great thing. i laid in bed listening to the raindrops (inside and outside the house) and picture lake lanier filling to it's brim... i sincerely hope we get out of this drought this spring. i put an old 5 gal. bucket under the downspout by the front porch and it was full overnight. i soaked my mushroom log, and maybe if i am lucky, i'll get a mushroom crop out of it. the planter box was a little flooded this morning, but it seems to be slowly draining. the back patio was filled with rainwater - i need to tackle that project next.

it's been 65 days since i saw a movie at the theatre - and yesterday we had planned to go to the inman park festival but it was pouring all day so we went to the theatre instead and saw "forbidden kingdom" which is a martial arts flick with jackie chan and jet li. jet li played the monkey king, which i remember watching as a cartoon in korea. i give the movie 3 stars (out of five). it wasn't awful, but parts of it were corny. i gorged myself on theatre candy, and paid for it this morning.

bibi is doing better. she seems to be using her leg more now, maybe even a little too much. but she is completely spoiled rotten cause she gets to sleep in bed with us and now expects it. she will walk up to the bed and stare at you until you pick her up and tuck her in. then she gets pissed if louie or syrus try to lay in bed too. i love snuggling with the bunni in bed - she'll just lay there and let you kiss her, play with her feet, you can even nibble on her cheeks, blow raspberries on her tummy.... yea, she's a dog. we know.

my mom is now a part of the food shortage hype. i offered to give her some leftover squash, zuchini, and onion plants and she said we need to plant a lot more. so i imagine this year we are going to be gardening like crazy. she got me some chickens but i need to build the coop first. i have no idea how that's gonna work out - chickens, dogs & cats.....

**oh, i always add things to my posts last minute, but i just can't help but poke fun at what retarded shit people build and the even more retarded people who buy into it... http://www.guardian.co.uk/travel/2008/apr/26/travelnews?page=2
seriously, it's like watching the paris hilton of architecture. i hope those stupid islands sink into the ocean.

the beautiousness of spring

2008-04-26T14:30:00.010-04:00

it's been gorgeous outside the past several days, with random rainshowers here and there that makes the whole world burst with green and colorful blooms. today is one such day. i have been enjoying my new front porch so much lately i haven't been able to bring myself to sit at a computer any longer than at work and therefore am way behind on pictures (believe it or not). so, let's see...shall we continue in chronological order?

the other day we all sat out on the back patio and had watermelon and lemonade and conversation. the dogs, especially syrus, were trolling around the table, wanting to taste the scrumptious watermelon we were eating so we gave him the leftover rind. we had no clue how much they would end up enjoying it! syrus's underbite serves him well as a melon scoop!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNMZTy7mdIg

here is a final shot of the new front porch, which i heart so much. we will eventually get prettier chairs out there, but damn those camp chairs really are comfy! to the bottom left is the newly planted tea olive tree, which is one of my favorites. the hibiscus is still waiting to be planted in the front yard, by the sidewalk.

and a closeup of said hibiscus, with a particularly pretty bloom which my crappy camera and my shaky hands did a terrible job of capturing. i'll try not to complain too much about that crappy camera because it is better than no camera...

and the best pic out of many that B and i took of this gorgeous dragonfly that appeared out of nowhere and chilled on the screen of the front windows all early afternoon with me. i remember catching these as pets in korea and keeping them in little cages - but none of them are as colorful as this little guy.

so i told B how to catch a dragonfly and she did! she said it was so cool! then we let him go and he flew and briefly landed on my stevia plant. but before i could snap more pics, he flew off into the sky.... ahhh the freedom of being a beautiful dragonfly!

so, that's the gist of it. god, i love spring! i still have some planting to do but i am expecting a nice bounty of herbs and veggies this year. weeeee! i can't wait!!

handy dandy

2008-04-25T13:58:00.001-04:00

if you scroll down to the bottom of my blog, you'll find a new widget to help you pick out a plant. it's pretty neat, try it!

dinnah....is served...

2008-04-22T21:06:00.011-04:00

this is going to be a really long post... but it will be a visual feast...

boy, i was busy tonight! as soon as i came home i was gardening. i wanted to hurry up and transplant my seedlings into the new raised bed planter box today but as you can see, there isn't enough soil. johnny went back to get some more, and even that wasn't enough! i mixed in: two kiddie pools' worth of garden soil (roughly 2 bags each?); a big bag and a little bag of peat; two big bags of plain soil, half a small bag of organic fertilizer; and a big bag of compost with cow manure. and all of this on top of the entire contents of my compost pile. i shall be starting a new, improved compost pile now - hopefully this time with big fat red worms. so anyways, i am just about dying of anxiousness to get this garden going, especially since johnny's family is coming to visit this weekend. i also planted all of the kitchen herbs and the hanging baskets of fuschia.

the herbs you see below are (from left to right): rosemary, stevia, thyme, sage, and catnip.

if you are wondering about the kiddie pool comment above, last year i tried to grow pumpkins on my roof. unfortunately, we had the extremely severe drought and all outdoor watering was banned. so they died. before you wonder why i would let a vegetable garden die, we seriously thought water was going to run out. it was that bad. plus, it was a pain in the ass to try and get up on the roof all the time, especially with my bad ankle. the funny thing is, one plant actually survived. i pulled it out and was surprised to find this:

isn't he cute? looks tasty, too. not sure if i can bring myself to eat it, though. i might just look at it lovingly for a few days. maybe i'll try to re-plant it. now i have big plans for the rest of the yard. i have decided to completely till the triangular wasted space between our houses and plant pumpkins there, along with the beans.

wait, it doesn't end there~! after johnny came back with some batteries (finally!) for my stupid camera, i was able to take a bunch of pictures and start dinner. i took a picture of louie to demonstrate his new whiskerless 'do.

if you click on the picture, you can zoom in and see that he has indeed been trimmed. how goofy is that? dear, sweet louie. moving on...

i promptly began dinner, which was to be a modest sampling of homemade indian fare. i though about trying to make palak paneer like B does, using the mexican crumbling cheese instead of paneer (it works!), but i didn't feel like doing that much work. johnny had marinated the chicken and tofu in tandoori and yogurt all day so all i had to make was the basmati rice, and a side dish - which i ended up making my usual aloo mutter and chana masala. the result was fantastic. and, i just love how vibrant indian cuisine looks!

the chiken and tofu tandoori came out marvelous; johnny grilled them outside. i didn't get a chance to take photos of it because we inhaled them so fast. it was damn good. i love indian food.

the end.

* i lied! here's an exciting update: i may have chickens this week!! i found a woman on craigslist who is selling laying cochin hens and chicks and rhode island reds. i contacted her about getting three hens and four or five chicks, but i need a place to put them!! i need a chicken coop!

vote for me!

2008-04-21T09:05:00.006-04:00

oh, there's so much to tell you....

but for right now, click on this link and vote for my design! You should make one for yourself, too!

**well, i wanted pictures to back this up but i have no working camera as of yet. my new one is still at nikon's service department and my crappy old one goes through batteries like a newborn goes through diapers. so, imagine if you will....

all last week johnny and my stepbrother have been building me a new front porch. yes, i was very excited because as you all know, my front porch was hideous (see below). the porch is now more or less done, waiting only for a few last embellishments, but let me tell you it is fabulous and i LOVE it. i want to spend all morning and evening out there. i have a place to perch and watch the neighborhood, hang out and chat, water my plants and enjoy other leisurely activities...

here is a progress shot from last tuesday. you can barely see the corner of the old porch to the right where it caught on fire last year. thank god i don't have to see that anymore...
here's what it looks like nearly completed:

as you can see, a vast improvement and i was very impressed with the workmanship. notice that the same day the deck was laid was Penelope's birthday. i have since then bought a bunch of plants and graded the area in front of the porch to create a path to my garden which (surprise again!) johnny built for me using the wood planks from the old porch. i can't wait to show you all of this but my stupid &$%# camera is dead.

and last but certainly not least - a small mystery worth remembering. at some point during the day last sunday while johnny and i were busy doing yardwork i noticed that Louie's whiskers were missing. yes. missing. at first, it was so strange i couldn't even wrap my mind around it so i spent the entire day questioning johnny and wondering out loud what the hell could Louie have gotten into that would cause all of his whiskers to disappear. well, they weren't entirely gone, but cut really really short. then i noticed his eyebrow whiskers were gone, too. in fact, every whisker in louies head was gone except for one lone whisker above his eye. he looked quite ridiculous and blissfully unaware of it.

i figured he may have gotten into the bathtub and was chewing on one of my razors? or perhaps they got singed off somehow? i can't even describe the frustration and sheer perplexity of wondering what happened to louie. although it was funny to watch him licking his chops and making weird faces. so after we finished doing yard work and were chillin' on the porch, i noticed that syrus had a few whiskers missing - but only a few... now that was truly weird because syrus is notoriously obsessive compulsive and would not allow anything to happen to his whiskers. i checked bibi's face - she was fine. so it was something that only syrus and louie could have gotten into. hhhmmm...

well, all i could do is wait for other members of the household to return home for questioning. i wasn't entirely convinced that johnny was innocent but i needed confirmation from B and my stepbrother. finally, late that night B comes home and sits next to me on the porch. we share the peace pipe and i started to ask her about the whiskers when johnny immediately went on the defensive before i could explain to B what happened. all she could do was laugh...and laugh...and laugh... she told me that SHE had "groomed" louie. he apparently needed a whisker cut. she said syrus wouldn't sit still for it. no shit.

i swear it was the funniest thing ever. you had to be there, i suppose... but what made it so funny is that this is the sort of trivial mischief that I would have done myself once upon a time... louie is just too easy to pick on. and only a mother would notice something like that... good one, B.

Dove Kills.

She's here!!

2008-04-16T11:55:00.004-04:00

yes, the newest unit of my friend's family arrived at 4:28 am this morning - all 6 lbs. and 3 ounces of tender pink happiness. Doobie is a girl!! And her name is Penelope Jane! She is absolutely the cutest damn baby in the world. Mama and baby are still at the hospital, resting and I am stuck here at work, trying not to jump out of my seat and go hang out with all of them. I did stop by earlier and snapped some photos and hold the baby - since I am at work, I can't post the pics yet, but I promise I will tonight...

ahh..something about the newborn child of people you care about just makes the heart melt. isn't she cuuuuute?? she opened her eyes a bit, after i flashed her like paparazzi with my camera and scowled at me. she looks just like her parents, too. Mama is a hero! she handled it like a pro. Little Penny Jane is going to have a beautiful life. I can't wait to see how she grows up!

shitstorm #2

2008-04-14T12:42:00.006-04:00

well, all i can say is at least this time there was no actual feces flooding the house. except this plumbing disaster is uniquely nasty. the drain from the kitchen sink was corroded away and instead of fixing it properly, the previous occupant and first person to experience this problem decided to just patch the hole with putty. the problem is, this isn't just a little drain under the sink, this is the main pipe from below the house that connects the kitchen sink to the sewer line. so, for the past several months, everything that we have put down our kitchen sink (including garbage disposal and dishwasher) has been sitting in a puddle rotting underneath the house. nice, eh? it's so disgusting under there, johnny had to "prepare" himself to go assess the situation. he came back and compared it to the movie, Amityville Horror. The corrosiveness of the waste actually dissolved foundation wall brick. i have a septic field under my kitchen and no septic tank.

so, here i am, at work listening to paul simon and trying not to care while johnny and my stepbrother are spooning each other on the kitchen floor fixing the disaster that is my kitchen.

oh yes, there are pictures. you don't wanna seem them, but i'm going to post them anyways - when i get home from work.

well, at least it explains this.

oh the joys of torture...

2008-04-10T09:45:00.001-04:00

we like to play funny jokes on our dogs. I was watering the blackberry bushes and louie was just begging to play with the water hose...

spring at summitridge

2008-04-08T21:59:00.002-04:00

here are some random images for you to enjoy. my pitiful persimmon tree with homemade crutch
my embarassing front porch, note the yellowyness of everything...
random corner of my kitchen. i am not a heavy drinker.
still-life study: my dining table, with flowers, a papya, two handmade bowls, and sketches for a yurt. oh, and doogie door in background.....
my failed attempt at making homemade paneer.
the view from my front porch. that's a shitload of pine.
i think i'll name it.....seymour...
compost pile and mini cold-frame
close-up of pretty hyacinths
pretty hyacinths - they look like grapes...yummmm

pictures, pictures, pictures. they say so much more than words...

boycott the beijing olympics

2008-04-07T12:12:00.005-04:00

friday, as i was driving through the pouring rain to visit bibi at the vet hospital, i drove past a group of regular people and tibetan monks who were standing at the corner of the intersection holding flags and protesting. it's the first time i have ever seen tibetan monks in the US, much less monks protesting (peacefully, of course). I saw the face of one monk who was soaking wet and just standing there - and the brief glimpse i had of his face as i passed by was that of sorrow. it's easy for us comfortable americans to turn a blind eye to what's going on in the rest of the world as we go about our day to day business - but we have an opportunity to ACT on a worldwide issue. I have nothing against chinese people but i do have a problem with their government's actions. Well, I have a problem with many actions of my own but not quite in this degree. These people need our help, need to be heard. I don't think that China should have been granted the priveledge to host the olympics despite it's crimes against humanity and for that reason I boycott the olympics. What effect will this really have? Well, me by myself would be little to none. It's more of a personal sacrifice because I love watching the olympics. I was there in Seoul 1988 and i consider many of the athletes to be heroes. I think what needs to happen here is for people to be aware that there is a situation here. We have to hold our leaders accountable. The people have to demand justice and equality and peace. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7334545.stm

the real cloverfield

2008-04-06T22:52:00.005-04:00

hahahahaha... yea i know i'm corny. this is a clover patch next to my carport. doesn't it look lush and pretty? actually today it was snowing pollen. it's a good thing i don't have allergies because i would have been dying today. i spent the whole day cleaning - inside and out. i rinsed off the windows, the back patio, the back porch and my car. there was so much pollen it was caked on everything like chalk dust. johnny patched the roof (i've been sleeping under a leaky roof) and replaced my brakes. I did a chunk of my taxes and (halleluah!!) cleaned up my office a bit.

now i can actually do stuff in my office besides check my email. look at how clear my desks are!! yes, i still have a ton of shit but it's neater. this weekend was good because we finally got to do things we've pushed back for too long.

bibi is doing well. she is very stubborn and prefers to follow you room to room than stay in any one place for long. we have to put her in the crate for that. but she's doing well.

bibi

2008-04-04T22:32:00.007-04:00

bibi is home again - doing better. we got her a new crate and i took pictures of louie hogging it.

aaaawww... poor bunny. look at her speckled little butt. she is totally stoned in this picture, we ended up taking her back to the hospital the next morning. We just got her back today after work and so far so good.

a moment of silence, please...

2008-04-04T09:03:00.001-04:00

for the late great Martin Luther King, Jr. Today is the anniversary of his assasination and the very unfortunate loss of a great person who gave some of the greatest speeches of all time. Have you heard a MLK Jr. speech? If not, I highly recommend it.

Here is his last speech - do you think he knew what was about to happen?

the good 'ol days

2008-04-02T10:36:00.006-04:00

i thought i would post some pictures (yippee, photos!) of some models i built in school, just fyi. these are all 100% my design and fabrication. enjoy!

japanese "style" teahouse...

american dream house...

oatland island aquatic center...

mars labitat...

and here's a special treat for those of you who actually read this whole post... found on digg.com:

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

bibi's under the knife again

2008-04-01T15:52:00.003-04:00

today bibi is having the TTA surgery on her right hind leg. She tore her cruciatus ligament and is having it repaired with a wire cage. i am worried sick about her but i have confidence in this doctor, unlike EVIL BANFIELD who screwed up her other leg. Did i mention that i hate BANFIELD and that they are evil, lying, money stealing, pill pushing, creless and inconsiderate buttholes? yes, they are. stay the hell away from them. if you don't believe me, google for yourself. anyways, she will be in the hospital overnight and hopefully tomorrow we'll have her back. i feel so bad for her, and i hope she is OK and the surgery is a success. please god.

other than that stressing me out, i have been having a nice day dreaming about living on a farm commune. yea, i am all kinds of distracted today, needless to say i can't get anything done at work. i am a terrible employee. i can't help it though! this is bloody boring work.

**update 04/02**

Bibi is finished with her sugery and it was a success. She is fine, as far as I could tell, and staying at the hospital until today. Johnny went out and got her a prosh crate and crate pad that's all comfy soft. In fact, louie and syrus have been sleeping in the crate since we set it up last night. i'll post pics of it later...

can i get a valium, please?

2008-03-31T10:28:00.003-04:00

yea, this past weekend was truly insane. but we survived and we have memories to keep. the baby shower i was hosting couldn't have gone more wrong. first of all the space that we had rented was FULL by the time i got there at 10 am to set up. turns out a tennis league was having a tournament and BBQ. yea, i almost lost it at that point, but i thought, OK let's make it work. So, i began setting everything up and just as I was getting ahead, a thunderstorm started to roll through the neighborhood. Johnny and i were trying to do a bunch of last minute things like getting food, setting up the badminton net, putting up decorations, etc etc while waiting for others to come help us and waiting for balloons and then the mother-to-be shows up with her extended family just as it begins to rain. i had to run out and pick up some food specifically requested by the pregnant woman and while i was gone they decided that this outdoor party was going to become an indoor party - at my house. so, while i was out and in the pouring rain, my pregnant friend and her grandparents and in-laws MOVED the entire party to my house a few blocks away. I raced home and began to set up the food (all the while impressed at how they managed to move everything AND decorate my living room) and giving directions to all of the lost guests who went to the park who evidently didn't read their invitations which said "if it rains, we'll be at heather's house at .....address". then we began to run out of space - no tables or chairs - everything was wet, and nobody knew each other. we had no indoor games planned and one guest who was deathly afraid of balloons (which was the only thing we had to entertain with). yeah. and i didn't get to shoot a single picture.

i felt like i had completely failed as a host. but damn, the food was good and there was plenty of it and that's all people care about, right? yea, it wasn't so bad in the end because we all got together and were able to dote on the parents-to-be a little bit... afterwards, johnny did much of the cleaning and we went to bed completely beat.

unfortunately, i got one of my monster midnight migraines and didn't get any sleep. the very next morning, bright and early, my mother began stalking our house. i could tell because the dogs were whining and i knew she was anxious to get started with the errands of the day. i had to drag myself out of bed with as much will power as i could and face my mom with a smile on my face. you have no idea what this takes.

then we drove out to duluth to pick up a ginormous screen for the powerpoint presentation during her speech. it barely fit in the mazda and we took it to the restaurant. then we went to dim sum, which was actually nice. then we went home, i re-wrote my mom's speech on flash cards, downloaded pics from her camera, and demanded a nap before my head and chest exploded. I got almost 2 hours of rest and then it was up and at 'em until 9 pm. we went to the restaurant with cameras and flags and once we got there my mom tells me the address on the invitation was wrong. so i had to go find out where everyone was going instead and see if i could direct them to the right place. what a fucking nightmare. my mom started looking disappointed and so i started calling all the american people on her guest list to give them directions. then they started with all the speeches and introductions from chief of staffs to secretaries to president of this firm and that firm... all the while we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of the mayor. who was late. finally she arrived and people began to eat and things started to be OK. then we had to wait until everyone left and take the stupid screen back to my mazda, along with giant bouquets of flowers, and go home. i still had to shower and get ready for work the next day. thank god i was able to get some sleep with no headache, even though bibi instisted on sleeping on top of me all night.

throughout all of this, i had an expanding pressure in my chest that was making it very difficult to do anything. i was so mad at myself for having this stupid problem. i did not have time for chest pains at all. i don't know whats wrong, i dont want to take prevacid and risk a freaking heart attack. what a bunch of bullshit. today its not so bad but i have to take it easy. my body has completely refused to let me deal with stress at all.